I can get by even if I have no money. It matters, but it’s not everything. I am used to problems because I’ve had enough of them already and I’ve been at my lowest. I can endure a single day without food because I know how it feels to have no food to eat for almost a week. I can sleep in any house without complaint because I’ve experienced sleeping in the streets. I can go out without having to worry about what brand my clothes are because I only had one uniform in college that I barely even washed for the entire week. I didn’t get a lot of material things when I was a kid so excuse me if I don’t have a tablet or a fancy smartphone or any go pros or smartwatches.
I managed to walk from Cubao to Paranaque when I had no money left in my pocket and I had to pay for jaywalking the first time I set foot in Manila, so dreaming of having my own car is not a priority. I don’t give a damn if I’m sick; I know I can handle it, not because I am arrogant but because I was forced to take care of myself when no one else could be bothered to do it.
I know what it feels like to be nothing, to have nothing and crave for something that isn't going to be yours because of having been deprived so many years ago. So I learned to select which problem to face and eliminate those that mean nothing to me because I have faced worse.
I’m sorry if I’m not that careful of what others might think of me because I know they will not understand, since they haven't gone through what I have. Call me insensitive for I honestly believe that some opinions don't really matter because they could mean one thing: hate? Insecurities? Envy? Crab mentality. I was never brought up with parents who got to tell me what to do or who would spoil me with my wants.
I never felt insecure with anyone because I was born selfless and determined. I have myself to rely on in this world. I may not have most of the things that people are craving for like success, achievement, honor, fame, reputation, power, glamour but I have satisfaction and simplicity that I consider as a key to my survival.
I get depressed sometimes but I just want everyone to understand that I deal with my depression and see to it that I divert it into something worthwhile and as a part of my maturity and growth as a person.
I am happy and naturally okay with my current situation and if I get more than what I am getting right now, those are blessings heading my way and I hope that it will not be a reason for anyone to judge me.
I am not afraid of problems any more because they’ve been with me since birth.