paraprosdokian (noun): Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.
Almost five years old now, PositiveLite.com started with the vision of founder Brian Finch to put the fun back in HIV, or at least not let it read like a morbid walk through a health journal. So with Brian’s background in blogging and humour, the early days featured much black humour and frivolity, along with the science and stories of the multitude of experiences of living with HIV.
Today we are a little more serious - our original articles on the science and practice of HIV prevention, for instance, are often featured in other outlets around the globe – and we are, we like to think, a respected voice. But we are still committed to lightening it all up on occasion. Says our vision . .
“We have a sense of humour and you will see that reflected in PositiveLite.com often, but we take our work seriously and have a commitment to professional standards of journalism, responsible reporting, careful analysis and a desire to both inform and entertain.”
So, following a flood of articles weighing in on the meatier aspects of AIDS 2014 it’s time to honour our silly side. What better way to do it than with a series of – your new word of the day – paraprosdokians?
There are some gems here. (I particularly like number 24.) Enjoy.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car.