In the first of these two reports from the Senior Pride Network’s (SPN) Opening the Closet on Aging conference held in Toronto at the end of November 2011, I wrote about what aging means for a generation of queer people whose activism was central to our current rights activity and how aging complicates issues related to sex, sexuality and our abilities to live open, out lives.

To help us begin to explore solutions to these issues, the 175 delegates in attendance at the conference took part in a number of workshops on a variety of topics: how to inspire a culture of change in building safe and accessible spaces for older queer people, how to access appropriate health care, issues of loss, resilience and personal empowerment, the concerns of older LGBT newcomers and refugees, sexuality in old age, aging with HIV and practical matters such as legal and human rights and making the most of social media.

One of the workshops that I found particularly interesting focused on the experiences and lessons learned when creating older LGBT-inclusive programs and policies in senior day care and recreational programs as well as in long-term care homes.

Unfortunately, the experience of queer seniors in such places hasn’t always been positive. LGBT seniors have reported negative reactions from staff, volunteers and non-queer clients that include rejection, discrimination, open hostility, harassment, excessive curiosity, avoidance of physical contact and breach of confidentiality. This results in many queer seniors living in isolation.

All the agencies who presented at this workshop acknowledged that a large number of their future clientele were likely going to be members of the LGBT community and that this meant they had to - wanted to - increase access and equity for queer seniors.

So the question is, how to do it? The good thing is that the wheel doesn’t have to be re-invented. Many social service agencies - and not just those working with seniors - have already learned what works when providing services to members of the queer community.

Of primary importance, we were told, is ensuring that an organization is welcoming of LGBT people, that it’s a place where they feel safe and secure. How welcoming is an agency to queer people - and not just to clients but staff and volunteers as well? Does it have images - rainbow flags, for example - and brochures that let people know that they’re welcome there?

But welcome signs, however important, are just the start. You cannot be welcoming without clear policies, procedures and programming to back it up. And that cannot be done without the involvement of members of the queer community to provide advice, support and feedback.

The workshop presenters were clear that education of management, staff and volunteers at all levels is crucial. Some may come to training with strong religious or personal values and assumptions that may make it difficult for them to fully accept queer people (including the special needs of those living with HIV) in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Experience shows, however, that most staff and volunteers in social service agencies value training that’s sensitive and respectful and that focuses on clients as people with individual needs.

Yet, at the same time, the organization must to be clear about the direction it’s going in - to be inclusive and accepting of queer people. And those who cannot accept that direction are not suitable people to work or volunteer there. But because we’re all human, undesirable or inappropriate incidents will occur so risk management procedures need to be in place to ensure that there’s a process to deal with inappropriate behaviour.

Training and good policies, however, aren’t enough. All the agencies who presented agreed that LGBT-inclusive programming was an important component in making an agency queer-friendly. Such programming could include discussion groups, outings to community events, in-house cabaret shows and, not least, the annual celebration of Pride week. By making such activities inclusive, so that those who attend don’t have to identify as queer, agencies have found that the their non-LGBT clients become more accepting of those who are. “I’m here to support my [queer] friend” was one typical comment.

Ken Miller is a resident of one of the City of Toronto’s long-term care homes, where the administration is working hard to make them LGBT-welcoming and inclusive. He moved his audience when he talked about how shocked yet pleased he was when his long-term care home organized activities in-house to coincide with Toronto’s annual Pride Week celebrations. “I came out all over again - with pride”, he said. This was a powerful statement from a man who came from a time when queer people didn’t have a voice. Miller’s experience of proudly living an openly gay life in a city-run long-term care home shows what’s possible when an agency delivers appropriate services for LGBT people in a positive and caring environment.

The agencies who presented at this workshop had clearly made great strides in making their programs and services inclusive and welcoming of queer people. I couldn’t help noticing, however, that most of the presenters at the workshop were self-identified queer people. It does seem - and this reflects my own experience in doing this kind of work in a child welfare agency - that, while we have lots of straight allies who are open and accepting of our needs, it’s still LGBT people ourselves who need to be up front and centre in ensuring that change happens.

So where do we go from here? About 60% of the people who were registered for the conference came from agencies that work with seniors. Many were LGBT community members, many were not. As such, service providers attended workshops alongside community members and had the opportunity to share experiences and to work collaboratively on activities and projects designed to enhance services for older queer people. As this work is necessarily ongoing, the SPN is hoping to plan additional capacity building opportunities and community events to address the topics raised in this two-day conference.

I left the conference with a feeling of hope - that together we are on the road to expanding appropriate and welcoming programs and services for older lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people, both in Toronto and throughout Canada.

Editor's note: We've added a trailer for the excellent documentary Gen Silent which covers some of the issues John has addressed here.

The case has received a lot of attention. It’s unbelievable.  But in case you haven’t been following, here are the facts, as per Reuters.  A private boarding school connected with the Hershey chocolate company says it was trying to protect other students when it denied admission to a Philadelphia-area teenager because he is HIV-positive.

The AIDS Law Project of Pennsylvania filed a lawsuit on behalf of the unidentified boy in U.S. District Court in Philadelphia on Wednesday, claiming the Milton Hershey School for disadvantaged students violated the Americans with Disabilities Act.

School officials acknowledged that the 13-year-old boy was denied admission because of his medical condition.

The interesting and perhaps most revolting part of the story is the how the school justifies this archaic and discriminatory behaviour  that want even appropriate twenty years ago. So, again, in case you haven’t read it, here is the press release from the school involved

Dec. 1, 2011, 5:01 p.m. EST

Statement from Milton Hershey School on Lawsuit Filed by the AIDS Law Project of PA

HERSHEY, Pa., Dec. 1, 2011 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- The following statement was issued today by Connie McNamara, Vice President, Communications at Milton Hershey School:

Milton Hershey School had planned to file a request in federal court asking the court to review our decision to deny enrollment to a child who is HIV positive because of concerns for the health and safety of our current students.

We had been in discussions with the AIDS Law Project of Pennsylvania, which is representing this 13-year-old boy. Recognizing the complex legal issues, the School was preparing to ask the court to weigh in on this matter. Unfortunately, attorneys for the young man took the adversarial action of filing a lawsuit against the School.

The decision to deny enrollment was a challenging one for us to make. Like all our enrollment decisions, we need to balance our desire to serve the needs of an individual child seeking admission with our obligation to protect the health and safety of all 1,850 children already in our care.

Attorneys for this young man and his mother have suggested that this case is comparable to the Ryan White case. But this case is actually nothing like the Ryan White case. Milton Hershey School is not a day school, where students go home to their family at the end of the day. Instead, this is a unique home-like environment, a pre-K -12 residential school where children live in homes with 10-12 other students on our campus 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

In order to protect our children in this unique environment, we cannot accommodate the needs of students with chronic communicable diseases that pose a direct threat to the health and safety of others. The reason is simple. We are serving children, and no child can be assumed to always make responsible decisions that protect the well being of others.

That is why, after careful review and analysis, we determined we could not put our children at risk.

(Contact: Connie McNamara 717-520-2212 This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. )

Meanwhile the child involves is quoted as saying “I don’t feel normal anymore.”

The school is a disgrace.

Here’s what CNN's Anderson  Cooper had to say about the story.  In the video below he is talking to school spokesperson Connie McNamara, with a response from the teen involved, an interview with Ryan White’s mother and  the teen’s attorney.

Rev. Gene Robinson is the ninth bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire in the Episcopal Church in the United States of America.  Robinson was elected bishop in 2003 and entered office in March 2004. His public profile as a gay bishop caused much angst amongst the religious right across the Christian world.

Personally, find the topic very engaging, interesting as there is hardly any dialogue of religion or spirituality and LGBT or even in HIV/AIDS work or conferences.  There are however HIV/AIDS Interfaith Conferences in Asia but not in North America.

Hence the talk was very welcome to the packed audience of LGBT persons.  In my discussion with MSW and mental health counsellors, religion has had a huge impact on psychological well-being, mental and emotional well-being of many LGBT people including HIV positive persons.  Rev. Robinson brings an integrative aspect to embrace the unknown and work with it for our well-being.

The below is his speech (verbatim).

“Religion plays an important part in our culture and the LGBT movement regardless of whether we believe in religion, practice it or is an atheist.  Ninety five percent of the pain experienced by LGBT is due to religion. And so religion needs to be an important part of our change and movement.  

Healing is much more involved then just curing or fixing the body.  We begin by knowing our history.  The younger we are, the more we have to study our history.  Example many young LGBT people have no idea who Harvey Milk was or what he stood for. Another example, if not for the drag queens who stood up at Stone Wall –we would not be where we are today.  I have immense respect for what they did for us.

Even though many LGBT have never read any religious text they know the word “abomination.”  God loves all LGBT beyond their wildest imagination.  At a more strategic level, we ignore religion at our own peril. Example Proposition 8 in the US, the progressive religious people were pushed out at the sides. If they were engaged, the outcome may have been different. Religion matters if we want to achieve the equal right.

Let us look at the word “ism.”  Ism is a combination of prejudice and power. What our enemy truly is, is not homophobia but heterosexism.  It is the predominant majority that needs to know about the impact of heterosexism.  They are the dominant culture who oppresses the minority.  Example on the return trip from Kenya to US, I and my partner had to fill two separate immigration forms inspite of us being together for 23 years while the straight couple in next aisle who have only been married for 2 weeks fills one form as they qualify as a family.

When you dismantle the power, the prejudice will still be there.  There will be a lot of work and healing to be done.  The reason we have so much resistance to our movement is the fear of end of patriarchy. Example, years ago, gay couples were always asked who plays the women’s role in the house or in sex.  Women are viewed as inferior and subservient to men.  Being a woman is seen as less than.  Most of us in this room are white Anglo Saxon middle class men with privilege. And you have a tiny window of what women, racialised persons and handicapped people experience because you are gay.  As gay men we have to stand up to racism and sexism.    

I want to share with you 7 principles that we can strive for:

1. Be out, be open and be a model. You are a witness to the world

2. If you live in a city, do not forget the rural LGBT people. Do not forget people in the rural are not living your life.  You cannot forget them and the privilege you have living in the city.

3. Make sure your health care facility implements the next of kin changes.

4. Do not forget your straight allies. Think of the African American movement and Civil Rights, and the Women’s Right movement.

5. As LGBT we are a natural minority and need to build bridges. We cannot afford to live in our LGBT silos.

6. We have bridges to build in our own community, as in with the transgender experience.  It is not enough to add the “T” in the acronym but to educate ourselves.

7. Take some risk for our movement.  No civil movement moves forward without taking risk. At my consecration to become the Bishop, my partner and I had to wear bullet proof vest. I had my blood type identified incase I was shot and need an infusion.  The paramedics were on stand by.  It was all very surreal, knowing the possibility of being killed.  A recent death attempt has been made on our lives.  The man was arrested on route to our home.  It is going to take all of us to do this work.  We have to keep our courage, strength, and the end result we see, will happen.

We need to draw our strength from each.  We don’t need to loose our strength, get burned out but stay in the blessed company of each other to change the world. And the change may not come in my life time, but it will.”        

End of speech.  Standing  Ovation.