Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Italo Ettenes

I was born and brought up in sunny Barbados. I come from a very loving family whom I still to this day adore with all my heart. I'm a very happy go lucky kinda guy. I'm pretty well traveled. I've lived and studied in different parts of the world which I think has made me understand the human race just a tad bit better. My friends are fast from traveling but my heart will always remain where they are. In the Caribbean.

At 15 I received a Scholarship for psychology where I lived in Cuba for about a Year. Moved to England and studied and lived for six years. Lived in Panama for two years and am now back in England, where I've managed to hold a column in OutNorthWest Magazine. I've been interviewed by BBC Out North West Tonight, been on radio with Mike Robinson, been a panelist on HIV matters aired on Gaydio, also in front of a live audience on HIV matters, and was interviewed for Worlds Aids Day for a video.

My blog The Broken Bones http://patrickettenes.blogspot.ca/

Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/DevilsDream

Twitter @PEttenes 

Google plus

Seeking and finding unconditional love

published: September, 11, 2017 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, African, Caribbean and Black, Gay Men, Mental Health, Pets, International , Living with HIV, Media, Opinion Pieces, Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes on the healing power of the love between a person and their pet.

Seeking and finding unconditional love

Many of you might have been wondering where I disappeared to in the last few months. Truth be told, after my best friend's death I wasn’t really in the right place. I also gave up TV production to concentrate on my new diagnosis, my early onset dementia. Like a trooper I pushed forward, accomplishing more in four months than I ever did for the entire year. And I still am, but I’ll let you into a few personal secrets, so sit down. I felt like I’d done enough with HIV work; I was tired of

Love is all that matters

published: March, 14, 2017 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Mental Health, International , Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Italo Ettenes on dementia: "I know now that no matter what I hear in my head, I will go out and reclaim my life."

Love is all that matters

Well, guess who’s attempting to get back into the swing of things! Brace yourself – it’s going to be another bumpy ride. 2017 has emotionally marked me forever. For those who believe in coincidence, I have a few that will cause the hairs on your back to stand up. Allow me first to say that no matter what life throws at me, I have come to realize that I cope or manage however I need to. I fight without knowing it, and I slip down loops of self-destruction like anyone else. So what has H

Knowing the value of self worth, part two: putting aside the fear

published: October, 14, 2016 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, African, Caribbean and Black, Gay Men, Mental Health, International , Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Patrick Italo Ettenes

"I smile with pride for any other person I can see who looks happy and content to be braving the world as a single person," says Patrick Ettenes

Knowing the value of self worth, part two: putting aside the fear

We don't all appreciate our own unique qualities and I believe that a lot of us don't know our own self worth. That is one thing that was stripped from me over the last few years. I was reminded by my dear mummy of who I was and where I came from and the dignity that was bred into us and suddenly the "self worth" light flipped on. I shouldn't have allowed it to go out in the first place. Do you know why you cause a smile on that someone's face when you pass? Do you know why your best mate cal

Knowing the value of self worth, part one: clearing out the past

published: October, 07, 2016 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Mental Health, International , Living with HIV, Media, Opinion Pieces, Patrick Italo Ettenes

"Sometimes it's the most unlikely person who makes the biggest impact in healing ourselves," says Patrick Ettenes.

Knowing the value of self worth, part one: clearing out the past

So fingers, what do you have to tell the world this time? I'm in London at the moment, in Chiswick. It's beautiful today, the sun's out and the cool autumn breeze hugs you with its chilly warmth. A contradiction, I know, but it suits. My absence from writing was due to August being my twelfth anniversary and causing such a meltdown that my mother had to fly over to see me. And here is what I noticed: anniversaries really suck! No matter how far you've gotten or how comfortable you've become,

Setting the problems aside

published: July, 14, 2016 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, International , Travel, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Patrick Italo Ettenes

From mid Mediterranean cruise, Patrick Ettenes explains the value of just getting away for a while.

Setting the problems aside

So I’ve tried everything to write an article and I feel like I’m losing my mind and my gift to write. Yes, yes; dramatic but that’s me. So I’ll just spill. I find throwing everything out of your pram and just blurting out everything sometimes helps. I’m currently on a cruise, a Mediterranean one. It’s my birthday gift from a friend. “Good friend you say?” Yes, he is. I started this journey to try and find the other piece of that puzzle to add to my life. I’ve been through a

Sweet lovin’ – keep it comin’

published: March, 09, 2016 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Dating, Gay Men, General Health, Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes on the impact of a recent major health setback and how it will impact his life, relationships, work and the supports he needs

Sweet lovin’ – keep it comin’

The reason I’ve not written an article for the last few months and even told my editor that I’ll not write anything until April is because I was shattered to pieces on January 15th.   I found out that I might have HIV dementia. Basically I have Frontal Lobe Atrophy, and it could be a result of my HIV and my break-down a few years ago.   What does that mean?  It means I have more brain wastage than anyone my age that my consultants have seen before, and my life expectancy could be sh

Speaking in public about the lived experience

published: December, 23, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Activism, Gay Men, International , Living with HIV, Patrick Italo Ettenes

The UK’s Patrick Ettenes reflects on speaking publicly in front of an audience on World AIDS Day and shares a video of his speech in Manchester

 Speaking in public about the lived experience

What is love? I guess that is the biggest mystery, because nowadays we know so much about it and yet so little. Love has been spread out over the years into many classes - love for life, love for a person, love for a possession.    We take it for granted, but the biggest love is a result of affection and feeling;  that’s what we believe. I’ve been in love many times, I watch my parents together for nearly four decades and it gives me hope and sadness at the same time. Wen would I ever

Finding yourself

published: November, 10, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Activism, Gay Men, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes has been looking for his purpose in life. He’s found it now.

Dearest readers  First let me apologise for not writing for the last few months. I know many of you must be wondering what happened to me. Let me make it clear that nothing bad has happened, actually quite the opposite. In the last few months my life has gone from not doing much with my time to witnessing an incredible amount of positivity that has played a massive roll in restructuring my life.  I had felt like I had lost my ability to write, as stupid as it sounds. My low self-confidence

My anniversary

published: August, 10, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Not settling for second best, Patrick Ettenes on the relationship insecurities that can come with living with HIV – and how to be rid of them

My anniversary

August is a memorable month for me. On the 17th I am reminded that this is the day that I sat with a stranger and was told that my life will be different for the rest of my life. I was alone and 11 years later I will sit alone and face another reminder that I’m single and still havw a battle ahead of me. But it’s not all bad. I just had a reminder that I am better off single and that the issues I face are my own and not anyone else's. So on 17th August I will have a lovely meal for one

Beauty in the breakdown

published: July, 02, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

UK poz guy Patrick Italo Ettenes says it’s OK to fall apart sometimes. Holding it together is not always the answer. “Why not allow yourself to break apart?” and then climb back on again.

Beauty in the breakdown

"I’ve decided to give up what brings a lot of us together. Drugs. In order to achieve my ultimate goal, to be a published writer, because let’s face it; even I wouldn’t hire me right now!" My birthday this month wasn’t the best and as much as I added fuel to my own fire, I always come out the other side with a bit more knowledge and understanding. This time I didn’t want to just understand each months struggles, I wanted to remember what it is to sacrifice and want something so muc

I have confidence in ME!

published: May, 05, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes says of the road to accepting your status move forward with courage. You have nothing to lose by being honest and .forthright

I have confidence in ME!

Hello Dearest readers, After my last article about Passion, I received a comment on twitter from England praising my work. I wouldn’t know how to go about following that, but then again, the point of me writing isn’t to compete against the last, it’s to express myself as honestly as possible in the hope that it will benefit someone reading it. I’ve recently received some amazing help from people I’ve met, and from that help I was able to slowly get my confidence back on track. I w

Passion! Patrick Ettenes on what it’s like to be HIV-positive, dating and trying to find love along the way

published: March, 31, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes on what it’s like to be HIV positive, dating and trying to find love along the way

Passion! Patrick Ettenes on what it’s like to be HIV-positive, dating and trying to find love along the way

Dear diary  It’s been a weird yet wonderful few months.  I can finally open up now to a challenge a reader gave me which was to discuss what it’s like to be HIV-positive and dating and what it’s been like to find love for myself since I’ve been positive.  This request is a hard one because over the years I’ve had some of the worst things done to me by various boyfriends and partners. So having to write this might be the hardest challenge yet. Brace yourself, you’re going t

I am brave!

published: January, 29, 2015 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes fnds his spirits lifted by a present received from a stranger who found his story inspiring

I am brave!

First I have to apologize for not being around for the holiday period. I knew Christmas-time would be a really difficult time for me but it was made even more difficult than I was expecting by the sudden passing of my previous partner.   I’m now nick-named the Black Widow, because it seems as if I have been affecting the mental and physical wellbeing of any male I happen to get close to. I fell into a deep depression, unable to acknowledge anything or anyone for weeks. I felt it really

A gay man of substance(s)

published: November, 19, 2014 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Gay Men, Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes talks about his experiences with drugs. “I’m writing about this and trying to be honest. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and did the same?”

A gay man of substance(s)

Well, this should be an interesting article to put out there. What did I go through and what are my experiences with drugs? This is a long story involving many years of using substances, but in all honesty I had the time of my life when I first started using them. This was at a time when I discovered the gay scene, a time when I felt that the community actually was caring for each other. It was when music was everything, before Grindr, when you smiled and spoke to each other at the bar and th

They taught me to survive

published: October, 29, 2014 Written by // Patrick Italo Ettenes Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Patrick Italo Ettenes

Patrick Ettenes pays homage to family and how much they mean to him and how they have helped him survive the hard times

They taught me to survive

The journey to find the inspiration for this article has been a deep one. I’ve dug deep into my archives and came across an article I wrote discussing how much my family meant to me.  The story behind this piece was an interesting one, I was asked to write a piece about ‘Heroes’, to tie-in with the commemoration of a group of people that did something wonderful over in the UK. But being the rude bitch that I am, I responded that these people did nothing for me, and I cannot write abou

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