Brian Finch

Brian Finch

Brian Finch, founder and publisher of Positive Lite. I've had a blog since 2005 when I decided one day that I just wanted to write. Since then I've grown to writing for a local Toronto magazine, Fab, and contribute to MyGayToronto.com.

I first went public in the 1980s, and with the exception of a few years of taking a break, have not really stopped. Life is an evolution, and for the last six years I've brought everyone along for the ride, the good, the bad & the ugly.

Today I share stories of my lastest recarnation of life of a publisher, traveler, recovery, a new relationship, my three-pound Chihuahua Hildy, converting to Judaism and where ever else my journey takes me.

My brave new post antidepressant, post social media world

published: November, 15, 2016 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Mental Health, Health, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Brian Finch

"Clearly something is shifting. A need of meaningful personal relationships has been elevated to priority level," says post-meth, post-antidepressant Brian Finch

My brave new post antidepressant, post social media world

At my chiropractor’s office as I was laying on my stomach, waiting for him to crack my back, he asked, “So do you have someone special in your life”? “Nothing that lasts longer than an hour,” I quipped. Chuckling, he said, “Hmmm, an hour - that’s impressive.” Great that he thought it was funny, but I didn't think “that” was impressive. I’d hate to tell him about all the four hour plus occasions. On the 'someone special' side of things, I haven’t tried dating anyone

A post-meth sexuality, part two: coitus interruptus - the mental health edition

published: October, 19, 2016 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Social Media, Activism, Gay Men, Mental Health, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

Brian Finch is back with a follow-up to his "sex without condoms, fuck you to PrEP shamers" previous post

A post-meth sexuality, part two: coitus interruptus - the mental health edition

One recent Saturday night I had a date planned. We were texting to set up the time when out of the blue I got a message saying, “I’m going to send you a photo and can you tell me if you think I should go to emergency?”  'Wow, I thought, what the hell am I about to see? All sorts of car-crash-like images went through my head. When I did receive the image it was his balls and his right one was very swollen. Immediately I replied with, “Yeah, I think you should.” Not knowing anything

A post-meth sexuality. "After five years of suppressing my sexuality I’m taking it back."

published: August, 17, 2016 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, General Health, Mental Health, Sexual Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

"The revolution is here, are you with it, or are you stuck in the past?", asks PositiveLite.com's founder Brian Finch

A post-meth sexuality.

Travelling down my own road When Madonna’s Ray of Light came out, I immediately identified with “Sky Fit’s Heaven” particularly “traveling down my own road Watching the signs as I go.” If there has been one thing, it has been my ability to make my life a constant adventure. I often feel like I am on the passenger side while traveling down the journey of life. It has often have left me doing things where I wonder, “How the hell did I get here?”  I went from being 17 years o

From safer sex condom advocate to condomless sex guy... vive la revolution!

published: June, 30, 2016 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Social Media, Gay Men, Sexual Health, Opinion Pieces, Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

Brian Finch explains how he became "that guy who everyone wants to wag their fingers at."

From safer sex condom advocate to condomless sex guy... vive la revolution!

Condoms R Us Remember when you first used a debit card and it was great? So convenient, no more cash to carry around. Then came the ability to simply tap my debit card on a reader and presto,  my groceries had been paid for. Not one button did I have to press.  Today, if a store doesn’t have the tap feature it’s really annoying. Now I have to punch in 'ok' for the amount, what account I’m going to pay for it and then my pin number. It feels like so much work. Once a new technology is

Jack off all trades

published: April, 07, 2016 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Brian Finch

The incorrigible performer Brian Finch with a tale of taking simulated masturbation to new heights, with audience participation too!

Jack off all trades

Last May, I signed up for a solo theatre class - and no, learning to jack off in front of a webcam is not part of the curriculum. Think one-man shows at the Fringe Festival and you get the idea.  I’m pretty exhausted when I take this class. Sorting out medication changes, I can barely get through the day without sleeping a couple of hours, let alone take an intensive morning-only course. What am I thinking?  The class is run concurrently with the SoulO Theatre Festival. At its end we eac

What do dirty stories, a rabbi and Syrian refugees have in common?

published: January, 21, 2016 Categories // Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Fundraisers, Events, Spirituality, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

Brian Finch and the night his rabbi unexpectedly drops in on Brian’s deep dish, risqué storytelling event

What do dirty stories, a  rabbi and Syrian refugees have in common?

I’ve known my rabbi, Rabbi Ben, now for five years. He’s a little older than I am. A petit man, short buzzed grey hair with a small frame. Religiously he’s conservative and socially liberal. Like, be gay, but just be gay with a with nice Jewish boy. When I first met him I’d have to visit him once a month while I was on my path to conversion. I’d always feel awkward with him. He’s super nice and a smart guy. I’ll chalk it up to the “rabbi effect.” My friend’s husband is lik

Scruff

published: December, 14, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Dating, Aging, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

The irrepressible Brian Finch took a year off sex. Now he says "getting laid is great, I really should do it more often and not wait a year."

Scruff

Adult language I have taken my own sexual smite  - Hebrew for the seventh year sabbatical of farming in Israel. In this case I’ve been the barren field for probably little more than a year. But recently I decided that maybe it was time to end this self-imposed exile from the land of cock.  Technically I broke this year of no sex (I never thought I’d ever be able to make that claim) with this guy I used to see off and on. It seemed easy enough - just send a message and in a couple of ho

How to get away with murder

published: October, 15, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Newly Diagnosed, Television, Opinion Pieces, Brian Finch

Brian Finch on the popular ground-breaking TV series that features gay sex, PrEP and HIV testing.

How to get away with murder

I love watching TV In fact I’m a Netflix addict. Fall is an exciting time of year for the televised series junkie as all the new and returning show’s seasons premiere! One of my returning favourites is How To Get Away With Murder, or HTGAWM for those of you who love acronyms. The plot takes more twists and turns than the mountainous roads that took Princess Grace's life. Google her. Hint - Monaco. The show focuses around a group of defence law students and their professor who, big surpr

Turning 50

published: August, 13, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Brian Finch

Brian Finch recounts the pros and cons of reaching the half century mark in life and says he’s happy to live with the trade-offs

Turning 50

A senior moment I reply to a cute very young cashier at Varsity Theatre who asks me what movie I want to see, “I’ll have the same as my friend.”  My expectation wasn’t a senior's ticket! it’s not completely the cashier's fault. My friend had just asked for a senior ticket. I just meant the same movie. 

It probably didn’t help that I came off as a complete technological neophyte. I didn’t have my glasses on, and I had just switched from an Android to iPhone that day. Not b

My virus has a first name

published: May, 21, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // General Health, Health, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Brian Finch

Brian Finch and Daniel Uy trade stories about being sick - and naming their viruses like hurricanes

My virus has a first name

Daniel, left, says "“I’m covered with Vick’s, drinking tea (aka hot grass-clippings juice) with decongestants and sunglasses to block the light from me getting dizzy. Yay Veronica!”   Daniel: So school is finally done and I was looking forward to having more free time to just relax and unwind and have less of a schedule right up until the weekend that Veronica came to town.  I was not expecting her. She just sort of barged into my life and sucker punched me in the face. The initi

Oh Happy (puppy) Day

published: March, 30, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Pets, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Brian Finch

The ultimate in gay: Brian Finch now owns not one but two chihuahuas. They are good for him too.

Oh Happy (puppy) Day

Thirteen years old, disappointed that my dad had forgotten to pick me up to spend the weekend with him (my parents are divorced), I light up my sister’s joint. This is the first time I get high. Sure enough fifteen minutes later he comes knocking on the door. The room is filled with smoke and stinks.  Did I forget that he’s a custom’s officer?  I’m completely blasted and paranoid as he takes me to a dog show. He is breeding Bearded Collies with his “stud” entered.   Feeling

Storytelling: the act of subversion

published: January, 15, 2015 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Arts and Entertainment, Performances, Events, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Brian Finch

Brian Finch says “micro” interventions like personal story telling to small audiences are what are going to advance us more than articles in newspapers and glossy social media campaigns.

Storytelling: the act of subversion

What is old is new again.  In Toronto only a few years ago there was only a handful of storytelling shows in the city, including the one I started with a friend. Today there are so many I am no longer able to keep track.  What is great about storytelling and its community is that it is very humanizing. The stage is a great equalizer when we are each taking turns being vulnerable. The act of sharing our stories breaks down barriers and brings people together. I love the storytelling com

Dear Zachary

published: November, 25, 2014 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Movies, Arts and Entertainment, Current Affairs, Opinion Pieces, Brian Finch

Brian Finch with "My response to “On the Response to My OUT 100 Interview” by Zachary Quinto."

Dear Zachary

I’ve had a crush on Zachary Quinto long before I knew that he was gay. My first thought? There is a god after all. He can almost do no wrong.  Emphasis on almost. While he was recently lamenting what he sees as the complacency around HIV in the gay community, I had to take umbrage with some of the commentary. This of course is a reference to his original interview in Out Magazine. Then came the Huffington Post response to all the blowback he got. It was good until I got to this part.  "I

Just too lazy

published: November, 03, 2014 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Brian Finch

Brian Finch says "Getting laid is so easy, yet I’m too lazy to do it. Even jerking off seems like a bother."

Just too lazy

I used to joke on stage while doing standup to very straight audiences about how easy it is to get laid. “I met this guy and I asked him if he wanted to be a fuck buddy and he said sure. That’s how easy it is and exactly how lazy I am.”  Sport fucking doesn’t seem to be my thing anymore. Looking baqck, I’ve been in more places where I’ve walked in stripped, did it, and then left than I can remember. It’s somewhere in between the fast-food experience of the baths and having a li

Grandma, part two

published: September, 03, 2014 Written by // Brian Finch - Founder Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Opinion Pieces, Population Specific , Brian Finch

A death in the family brings Brian Finch closer to his family

Grandma, part two

When I left Toronto after hearing my grandmother was sick, I was tired and depressed after a string of events, including a car accident. Going back to my hometown of Winnipeg felt overwhelming. As I wrote in part one, the thought of having to deal with death, a subject that I avoid as much as possible, made me feel even more depressed. “Was I going to be able to handle it?”   Having traveled a lot in my lifetime, I have an automatic response to the preparations. I’ve got a job to do,

[12 3 4 5  >>