Lifestyle

"Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, 'is it going to be wonderful enough?,' it never will be." --Pepper Schwartz "...If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart..." --Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol It's that time of year where we're all supposed to be full of joy and light and love

Live oaks with Spanish moss, typical South Carolina scenery It’s odd but whenever I talk about my vacation plans I get pangs of guilt. It shouldn’t be this way, I know. Vacations, post-HIV infection and more importantly post-U.S. election, should be a break from everything that irks, not a source of irk. (Is that a word? Hang on. It’s a verb not a noun. Close enough!)  The vacation itself isn’t terribly grand or expensive. Twelve days. A two-day drive down to Hilton Head, South Caro

Bob Leahy: Thanks for talking to PositiveLite.com first of all. I really appreciate it. Now tell me why you wanted to talk to me, Eric. Eric Cashmore: This is something I had to consider very carefully Bob. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a talk with my employer where I was being very public within my office, and I realized I had started to cause distress amongst people around me talking so openly about my addiction issues and how I’m handling them and people became very worried with me. S

Am I turning into a curmudgeon? (Dictionary definition for all those out there who don’t read: “a person, especially an old man, who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains?)  They say our character is partly the product of our life experience, partly genetic, partly upbringing. But if you are approaching curmudgeonary (curmudgeonhood?) how much of it is shaped by HIV? Does the virus infiltrate not only our body but our minds, turning us sweet and patient things, there to gi

A new season has arrived and that means a new approach to dressing. For many, Fall denotes change and new beginnings. Commencing a new academic year during our youth is probably the reason why many of us have taken a particular shining to Fall. Despite the anxieties that we may have initially experienced, including what to wear, we began to embrace the possibilities of new opportunities enthusiastically as the years advanced. For many, translating fashion into personal style is a process, l

We don't all appreciate our own unique qualities and I believe that a lot of us don't know our own self worth. That is one thing that was stripped from me over the last few years. I was reminded by my dear mummy of who I was and where I came from and the dignity that was bred into us and suddenly the "self worth" light flipped on. I shouldn't have allowed it to go out in the first place. Do you know why you cause a smile on that someone's face when you pass? Do you know why your best mate cal

As a young child in elementary school, I was a crafty and resourceful young soul. I had to be. Protection was the name of the game and the players were the many bullies that would make school difficult, everyday. My resourcefulness paid off in the way of escapism from my bullies’ relentless attacks. I had mapped out the entire school yard. Everything was colour-coded, even the trees and neighboring houses. Strongly depicted were my ‘safe zones’. They were the places I would run to w

I suppose I could be a poster boy for what I’m writing about today. I set out to write about people who are doing work they aren’t qualified for, are unprepared for, or who are working at a job they don’t even want to do. Instead it's become an ‘I’ story, about me. That was probably a wise decision, I’m not in a place to judge. Many years ago I was hired to work in a factory. I had just re-united with my family and it was a time when I really needed to work to support them. We mo

Photo Image by Tanja-Tiziana Blind Date is the first Buddies' show to feature alternating male and female leads. The gay dating version opened last night and the audience couldn’t have been more engaged in a 90-minute show that just flies by. It’s clever, funny as hell and leaves you wondering at the skill of it all. This is a show that you will talk about for a long time. Here’s the premise. The show opens with a clown, Mathieu, played winningly in the gay version by the handsome Davi

Ten years ago this month I made the decision to return to school … in fact return to work, to life, real life or some semblance thereof.  I had joked for some time with regard to my life with AIDS… “looks like I’m gonna live, I'd better get a job”. Although it was a running joke in my life it was also fast becoming a reality. I retired from normal life, if you will, in January 1991 immediately after the diagnosis of me and my family. The doctors pretty much told me to. “You need

This article by Matt Ebert previously appeared at the Body.com and you can read the whole thing here. I have a friend who receives a hefty check every month for not going to work. Back in the 1990s when he found out he was HIV positive, he cashed in on an income insurance policy. Now, as long as he stays unemployed, he receives six figures every year. For many of us that would be a blessing, but I wonder -- can it also be a bit of a curse? I have seen him in good times and bad, and I have s

All of us, whether or not we care to admit them, have guilty pleasures. According to a quick Google search, a guilty pleasure is described as “Something, such as a film, television program of piece of music, that one enjoys despite feeling that it is not held in high regard.” I would add that in some cases a guilty pleasure can be something which we may find embarrassing. Just as I have in many previous pieces, I am going to lay it all bare and really embarrass myself here, as some of my

Travelling down my own road When Madonna’s Ray of Light came out, I immediately identified with “Sky Fit’s Heaven” particularly “traveling down my own road Watching the signs as I go.” If there has been one thing, it has been my ability to make my life a constant adventure. I often feel like I am on the passenger side while traveling down the journey of life. It has often have left me doing things where I wonder, “How the hell did I get here?”  I went from being 17 years o

A while after coming out of the closet as T.C. Pomeroy, PositiveLite.com’s sexless and sex-obsessed columnist, I was surprised to find a new quiet in my head. A lot of chatter – the kind that says shit we’d never tolerate from friends –had disappeared, Acknowledging and untangling my fears and awkwardness was a big revelation. While a dramatic story in my own neural network, the fact that sex and intimacy are difficult and scary isn’t really news. It’s not like finding life on Mar

People living with HIV are living longer – but are also disproportionately affected by diabetes, heart disease and smoking-related illness. These ailments are not only a result of HIV, but rather are usually the result of lifestyle choices and risks factors such as tobacco use, low physical activity and poor diet. “One of the real challenges today for people living with HIV is to grow old in an healthy way,” said Dr. Jose Côté, principal investigator of the LHIVE Healthy study. It is i