Gay Men

Tears for Fears

published: January, 26, 2012 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, International , Revolving Door, Living with HIV, Guest Authors, Population Specific

Part 8 of Brian the Shochusucker’s story of being diagnosed with HIV while living in Japan.” I'm reminded of all the highs and lows. The lows are not easy to talk about.”

Tears for Fears

You can read part seven of the story of my first year living with HIV seven  here. In order to be honest with you, I need to be true to all that I went through in that first year. In this next part I share more about my weaknesses and low points and how I overcame them and grew from them. I never intended to sound like that guy who got HIV and just sailed through the experience like a trooper. That wouldn't be the whole story and that wouldn't be fair to you or myself.  I feel the n

Sexual Self Esteem

published: January, 24, 2012 Categories // Community Events, Gay Men, Events, Health, Sexual Health, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Don Short: To establish a sexual identity, you gotta get on the ride! There’s no other way to do it!

On Feb 4, I will be presenting a one-hour talk on Sexual Self Esteem for the Hot, Healthy and Horny event taking place at DC/UOIT in Oshawa, part of a queer-focused sexual health day. This opportunity is a unique one. My first thought is “why me”? It’s taken a long time to build up esteem in sexual confidence but maybe my 48 years on the planet has offered me the span of time needed to arrive at a somewhat confident outlook on myself, my body and what sexuality means for me. It’s been

Back home

published: January, 20, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, International , Living with HIV, Population Specific

His path to Canada and application for refugee status has been a difficult one. In Part 8 of his story, Scott Foley has decided to leave New York City and go back to his Caribbean home, despite the hardships he encountered there before.

In part 7 of Scott’s story, which you can read here, he describes his coping methods for dealing with his HIV diagnosis. He decides to leave New York, returning to his family home in his country. To return home was to return to all that I was running from. I was at war with myself yet again. In addition to all that was happening, like my new diagnosis and the strain this decision placed on my relationship with Joe, I now had to put my own needs on the back burner and focus on the needs

Checking in with ATOMc

published: January, 19, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Health, Sexual Health, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Sex in the HIV prevention world and how one hot and sexy message can lead to another

Checking in with ATOMc

Some time ago, I wrote about a project in Montréal aiming to encourage testing through social networks. This project continues, and continues to produce recruitment materials that are getting noticed. The latest YouTube video for the project (see below)  is a case in point:  What's interesting about this is the perception of what the message is, which is not necessarily the message intended by the organization putting it out (AIDS Community Care Montreal). I encourage you to watch

Something new at New Years Eve

published: January, 18, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific

No tall story: Positively Dating spends New Years Eve watching the ball drop in New York City’s Times Square – and gets a date with a very tall guy. But will he drop the ball?

Something new at New Years Eve

  Ever notice how most New Yorkers (and yes, I consider myself one even though I have only been a resident in this great city for less than two years), do their best to avoid Times Square? If we must be in the area, we concoct a plan to stay far away from the roaming masses of tourists, even if it means we take the most circuitous route to our destination. This avoidance of Times Square becomes even more evident on December 31st.  Last year I even fled the country to be far, far away fr

The David Testo Interview

published: January, 17, 2012 Written by // Bob Leahy - Publisher Categories // Gay Men, Features and Interviews, Health, Sexual Health, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality , Bob Leahy - Publisher

Bob Leahy interviews gay professional soccer player and former Montreal Impact most-valuable-player David Testo. Only recently out, he’s promoting Male Call Canada, the national, bilingual study for gay and bisexual men across Canada.

The David Testo Interview

Bob Leahy: David, thanks you for agreeing to talk to I want to talk about how you as a professional athlete came out. This happened quite recently, right, in November 2011 on Radio-Canada?  Why did you choose that moment and what did it feel like? David Testo: I chose that moment because I got to a point in my life where I felt comfortable with all of my surroundings and myself.  I no longer felt like living a double life, and I also wanted to be an example for ot

New year, new me.

published: January, 16, 2012 Written by // Guest Authors - Revolving Door Categories // Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, Fitness and Exercise, Revolving Door, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Guest Authors, Population Specific

In his second post, guest blogger and poz newbie Richard T joins the gym

New year, new me.

  My energy levels have noticeably increased following my diagnosis, probably helped by all that eating over the Christmas period. Reading the local paper, my eye was caught by a free seven day membership offer from my local gym to use the facilities. Although I was mainly interested in swimming, having checked and double checked the offer to ensure it didn't involve passing bank details and ongoing commitment, it was a no-brainer decision. Excellent! This avoids the commitment of signing u

Dear Me: A Letter to my HIV Negative Self

published: January, 12, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific

NotDownNotOut with words to live by for his past self, age sixteen

Dear Me: A Letter to my HIV Negative Self

  Dear You (and me), The fact that you are receiving this letter will fill you with suspicion but please just accept the fact that someone has determined to write to you and accept these words with the care and concern that surrounds them. You are strong, you know this already, but remember that being too strong means that you can be brittle and that when you are brittle you can break. Relax, and learn to take pleasure in the things around you. Times will come that may be dark and you may

Opening the Closet Doors

published: January, 10, 2012 Written by // Daniel Uy Categories // Yoga, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Daniel Uy

Daniel Uy says Skeletons and Baggage be gone!

Opening the Closet Doors

At the end of every year and start of a new one I become reminded of cleaning.  Perhaps it’s the holiday mess that accumulates because of going out more and/or having more company around the home.  I definitely am reminded of it when it comes to taking down the decorations – which for me is one long string of techno-Christmas lights weaved in and through my curtains that hang on my large one wall of windows.  More than that though, I become aware of how messy my closet and s

Undecided in New York

published: January, 09, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Newly Diagnosed, International , Living with HIV, Population Specific

Scott Foley is an immigrant from the Caribbean applying for refugee status in Canada. In part seven of his story, Scott is still processing his then recent HIV diagnosis and wondering where to go next.

  In part 6 of Scott’s story which you can read here, he spoke of his journey to New York City to be tested for HIV due to fear of further discrimination in his country and his positive test results. Scott: Facing the truth is hard. But for me, facing a truth like being HIV-positive was like facing a death sentence. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. So many emotions ran through me. I felt angry at myself for allowing this to happen and for not heeding my grandmother’s

A dating site that gives back

published: January, 07, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Devan Nambiar meets Jamie, the poz gay man from NSW Australia behind Poz Vibrations, an online dating site for poz gay men from around the world.

Happy New year and here’s to an amazing 2012.  I want to start the year by showcasing Jamie from Australia.  Jamie is the founder of Poz Vibrations, a labour of love and hard work!   I love his line, “People with HIV deserve love, sex and friendship.” You can check out Poz Vibrations at or on Twitter: @pozvibrations He is world travelled and has been to Canada.   His lovely experience of the freezing winter in Ottawa was comp

Numbers were my life

published: January, 06, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Guest writer and twitter friend NotDownNotOut reports in from the UK with a fascinating account of how a combination of HIV and an Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis has changed his lifetime obsession with numbers.

Numbers were my life

Integers, primes, squares, fractions, they are all there – numbers all the way up the counting scale and back down again. They exist all around us, these little friends of mine and they can boost you up or bring you down without a thought. Numbers for me are a whole other language to lose yourself in, to be comforted by and to view a world through their lenses whenever you get the chance. Well, you do if, like me, you are an HIV+ “Aspie”. Having always felt a bit different (who doesn’

My year of living……………………..Celibately

published: January, 05, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Living with HIV, Population Specific , Sex and Sexuality

Denis Robinson: “I don’t think any man ever chooses to stop having sex, particularly a gay man. And in honesty I didn’t really chose it myself.”

How it happened was, when I entered Psycho Dynamic Therapy in November 2010 I was on an exceptionally high dosage of anti-depressants and had been for a large part of the year. They had suppressed my sexual appetite to the point of invisibility throughout the year and there hadn’t been much action anyway. One thing I promised myself upon starting therapy was that I was going to use the time I had with Jade (my therapist) to truly start to get to know myself. At 42 as I was then I really was

Holidays and Anniversaries

published: January, 03, 2012 Categories // Gay Men, Living with HIV, Population Specific

Our Montreal guy Ken Monteith likes to celebrate the anniversary of his diagnosis in style.

 Holidays and Anniversaries

Just like it does every year, the festive season arrived last week to remind me of that other anniversary of which I am eternally conscious: the date of my diagnosis. With many apologies to my friend Lois, whose birthday this occasion has supplanted, December 22nd will always be about remembering that date in 1997 when, gasping for air, I arrived at the emergency ward of the Montréal General Hospital with the note from my doctor suggesting that he thought I had pneumocystis carinii pneumonia

Unwrapping Packages

published: January, 02, 2012 Categories // Dating, Gay Men, Lifestyle, Population Specific

Don Short on what he’s learned about how best to get to know people when looking for a relationship.

I’ve always dreamed that what I wanted would just come to my door gift wrapped and ready to go. That includes relationships. Yet, I have learned this past year that packaging is just on the surface. When dating, hooking-up, connecting online, etc, so much can get missed by just accepting the exterior. Sure good looks and self-maintenance get a big check mark on the list, and certainly make the gift giving more exciting, but if you want things to last, as they say, maybe reading the manual an

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