Announcement from the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network 

Women's voices have rarely been heard on this important issue. What happens if a woman does not disclose her HIV-positive status to a sexual partner? How does criminalization impact HIV-positive women in Canada, who are trying to live their lives in the shadow of stigma and fear? Does the law actually protect women's health? How do women feel about their experience with the criminal law with respect to HIV non-disclosure?

Positive Women: Exposing Injustice takes the audience into the hearts and minds of four positive women bravely speaking out on this important issue.

Buy tickets to the world premier in Toronto, Canada here 

June 14 at 6:30 p.m., Royal Ontario Museum/

A sure fire way to help beat the summer heat is to sport shorts. We all tend to wear less during the summer months whether it is for added comfort or just to bring a little sexy back. After all, what better way to flaunt all that gym time, exercise and/or great tan than by exposing those sexy gams? 

Once reserved exclusively for sports and casual attire, shorts have expanded into other realms of one’s wardrobe needs. Case in point: designers have teamed up Bermuda shorts with blazers over the last few summers, giving you dressier options to integrate into your wardrobe as well. Depending on your work environment and/or social obligations, these cuffed or uncuffed shorts, which usually end about an inch above the knee, can be an acceptable alternative to trousers. They also create a new and easy option for morphing into an “after five” look. 

Besides Bermuda shorts, Cargo Shorts (which include patch pockets down the sides of the legs), and ¾ length trousers, there are two new options to consider this season. Short shorts available in a wide array of solid colors work best with looser fitting tops or knits keeping proportions in check. The length varies from a few inches below your inseam to the widest part of your thighs (Quadriceps).

Fabrics range from colored denim to exotic. Silk is a new alternative but be careful that you don’t look like you are just wearing your boxer shorts and were in a mad rush to get dressed.

Elongated shorts that are cut a few inches below the knee flatter the trend in pattern play that is so popular this season. Tropical prints tend to look best with this style and can be fitted to the body if not semi tapered. The most flattering end point would be the widest part of your calves, making your legs appear larger than they actually are. This style can also add height to your frame. 

Fabric options vary pending the style of shorts. Seersucker, which is a textured cotton and/or blend, is the most comfortable as it creates an air pocket between your skin and the garment and feels as close to being nude as you can possibly get. They are the best option, especially for those of us who live in humid climates. Linen is also a cool choice but best for casual looks due to the crumpled affect it creates. Also, look for other machine friendly options to keep your summer free of trips to the Drycleaners.

Exotic prints, checks and patterns are abundant in all styles and again keep your proportions in mind as to select the most flattering and appropriate looks best suited to you. 

Sandals also play an integral role in complimenting your selection of shorts, adding to your cool quota. Desert boots are a new option this season and are worthy of consideration, especially ones made in suede and in a vibrant color. Sandals or Shoes that are worn without socks create an elongated leg that can come in handy if you are vertically challenged. Adding socks with your shoes or boots when wearing shorts creates a more casual look that may add to your machismo. Socks with sandals is still a huge no-no and falls into the old stereotype of looking homely or completely out of touch. 

Striking the perfect balance with your lifestyle, age, proportions and comfort zone will take some added experimentation due to the variety of styles available this season. But once you find the right styles best suited to your needs, you will breeze through the summer in a selection of shorts guaranteed to keep you cool and well dressed for any occasion.

And that is the end to this short story.

This post first appeared on the bloig of AIDS New Brunswick, here.

People sometimes ask me why we still feel it necessary to recognize International Day Against Homophobia. I’m never quite sure how to answer that question in a short concise way, so instead I tell them a story. In October of 2006, I was sitting in my (then) favourite study hall frantically looking for a topic for a soon to be overdue sociology paper. I was in my first year of university, I had been openly gay for about two months, and I was adamant that I was going to write a paper about something gay. I was reading something from some online source when I noticed an article about Matthew Shepard, and in particular about the eighth anniversary of his death. I sort of knew about Matthew but since I was only 10 when he died, my memory was sketchy at best. I began to read the article, and before I had finished I was in tears. I was in the middle of an unbearably quite study hall, surrounded by my peers, balling my eyes out.

If you’re not familiar with the Matthew Shepard case, this will serve as an introduction, and I encourage you to read more about the subject. Matthew was a gay male born in Casper, Wyoming in 1976. At the time of his death he was a Political Science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. The details are as such. On October 6th, 1998 Matthew was at a local bar in Laramie when two men approached him, told him that they were gay, and offered him a ride home. He never made it home.

Instead the two men drove Matthew to the middle of a field, beat shit out of him, tied him to a fence, and left him to die. Left there in a coma, he was eventually found 18 hours later by a cyclist who initially thought he was a scarecrow because he was beaten so badly. Matthew never regained consciousness, and died on October 12th, 1998. Incidentally, this story was the inspiration for Melissa Etheridge’s song titled Scarecrow.

It’s usually at this point that my audience interrupts me and points out that this happened more than a decade ago, AND it was in the States. They say we don’t have this type of homophobia today, and that “things have changed”. I agree in part, after all in 2002 Oshawa Ontario’s Marc Hall took the Durham Catholic School Board to court because he was not allowed to attend the prom with his boyfriend, and won, and in 2005 same-sex marriage was legalized through the Civil Marriage act in Canada.

However, more recently and more close to home, in the early hours of April 17th, 2012, Raymond Taavel was beaten to death while leaving a local gay bar in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Not Wyoming, not North Carolina, where they just voted to ban same-sex marriage, Halifax. Only four hours from Fredericton.

We are living in a world where people are killing themselves and being killed for being gay. We are still fighting for the right to get married, and have children. I grew up in a small town in Nova Scotia, only two hours from Halifax. I have friends and family who live there. In fact, Halifax was on my list of places to live after I finished High School. This didn’t happen a decade ago, and it wasn’t in the States. It was last month, and it was in the Maritimes, it was at home.

Raymond’s death saddens me and it angers me, but more than that, it scares me. I could have been the next Matthew Shepard, any of us could have been. We’re not done with homophobia yet. Raymond was just leaving a bar, walking down the street, and he was beat to death. Is it still necessary to bring attention to homophobia? I think so.

International Day Agains Homophobia website.

You can’t help but like Francisco Ibáñez-Carrasco.  He is a handsome silvered-haired dynamo, a Latino through and through, who is enthusiastic about everything he touches, even about being alive.  Clearly Francisco loves life and that comes through in the interview which follows.

Not that his life has been an easy one.  Born in Chile forty-eight years ago, he was,  according to his 2011 profile in CATIE’s The Positive Side “raised by a poor, single mother who earned her living cleaning rich people’s houses. As a child he was molested by Catholic priests, and as a teenager he traded sex for cash. “I get along with people with an edge, with difficult lives,” he says, “because I see myself reflected in them.”"

Francisco came to Canada in 1985; within months he was diagnosed with HIV.  Says CATIE “Most of the friends he arrived with in Vancouver moved on to New York City, which was “kind of a gay Mecca in our imaginations,” he says. “We were all young gay men who didn’t know anything about AIDS. We all got infected and they all died. Some of them died of HIV-related complications; some of them died undocumented. So, yeah, there’s a trail of dead people behind me, whom I honour, of course, all the time.”"

Francisco himself was diagnosed with Kaposi’s  Sarcoma back then, its  spots covering most of his body. He saw first one and then a second partner die of AIDS-related complications. But like many others he was saved from the jaws of death by the protease inhibitors which surfaced in 1996.

Meanwhile he had been pursuing higher education at B.C.’s Simon Fraser University where he eventually earned his Ph. D in 1999 – one of the first Canadians with HIV to earn a doctoral degree. His focus since has been on research on HIV and rehabilitation and, latterly, in the training of new researchers in the field of HIV. Resident at the OHTN (Ontario HIV Treatment Network) in Toronto, he has been Program Manager of Universities Without Walls.  Just recently he has been appointed the OHTN’s Director of Education and Training.

As you’ll see, Francisco is a lively and engaging interview subject.  For this interview I asked him the questions off camera with those questions edited out, allowing Francisco’s responses to shine through.

Videography by Guy McLoughlin

Photo by Bob Leahy

As I re-entered the world of singledom, after the South African, some things became disturbingly clear

I realized that I have a post break-up habit.  Some people get a drastic hair cut. Some people gain or even lose 15 lbs. For me, after a relationship ends I tend to become a true believer in free love.   During which I made good use of all of my gentleman’s socializing networks. I could be found chatting with guys at the gym, at work, at home.  I would even travel the length of Manhattan to partake in an extra long lunch break. Just to clarify, this was NOT my prior lunch date.  Within the midst of my newly rejuvenated spurt of free love, there were a couple observations that shocked and confused me. 

Way before the South African existed in my word, I chatted with this handsome Brooklyn Boy. We met on OkCupid and we tried to set up a really real date on a couple different occasions. Unfortunately it never really worked out, so we both just gave up. While on sowing my newly found wild oats, I came across the same Brooklyn Boy, on a slightly different website, Manhunt. We chatted again and this time we were determined finally to make our date happen. Since we were chatting on a site that had the byline of “Get on, Get off” I thought I should come clean with my status. He quickly became excited and he said, “So am I, now you can fuck me raw!” Clearly, I should’ve given him a different nickname with the initials B. B. I politely declined and then literally got off. 

There was another guy, who I chatted with for quite some time.  We talked about everyday random stuff and not just about a mutual love for our freedoms.  Finally, we decided to finally set up a time to meet. Again, because we didn’t meet on Manhunt and I wasn’t sure what his intentions were, I told him my status and lo-and-behold he said he was also poz. Ok, great. There should be no weirdness. Oh, was I wrong. I also told him that I always play safe and he proceeded to tell me that he never uses protection and he basically apologized saying that he hates “rubbers” and he would never have sex with someone who insisted on using them. 

I was baffled. I know I talk a lot about my disappointment and frustration with negative guys who turn me down because of my status, now I was turned down by a positive guy who didn’t date me because I always use a condom! I felt like I had just stepped into some bizzaro universe. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the allure of this particular practice, especially with another positive person.  But forgeting  the personal risk factors involved, I think people tend to forget that there are other STDs out there. I have a hard enough time expressing my status to a prospective date; imagine adding Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, or Syphilis to the mix! 

Another thing that completely perplexed me was the amount of people that ask me if I "parTy". I am not that naïve that I am completely unaware of this practice and on prior occasions I have been asked if I "parTy and play". And I would be remiss not to mention I did try meth once. Luckily for me the only addictive substance my body will let me consume is chocolate.  But day after day, I found myself bombarded with that question, “Do you parTy?” No, “Hello.” No, “How are you?” Just “Do you parTy?”

I would respond: “Why yes I do! When my niece turned five, you should have seen me tearing up that Disney karaoke.” 

I love my oral fixations too much to give myself meth mouth and I love my penis way too much to swing it around at every Tom, Dick, and Harry without any protection. You can call me a fuddy-duddy, but I still head the advice given to me Mr. Jiminy Cricket and I always let my conscience by my guide.

Ever since I came out of the closet for the second time with my diagnosis I made a promise to myself that I would be vocal, to anyone who’d listen, about my life as a gay man and living with HIV.

Essentially, I had practice coming clean about situations in my younger years when I talked with friends and schoolmates about my adoption from a foster home in Colombia.  I thought nothing of it, but what always amazed me was how fascinated people were with my story.  As I grew older I realized it wasn’t so much my adoption that they were interested in hearing, rather the passion I exuded in my words.

It’s always great to get my listeners to laugh when I told them I was adopted and I happened to be on sale that week and went by the name, “Baby Number 5.”  Of course I was joking!  From there on I knew that I loved to make people laugh…even over a touchy subject like HIV.  I never stop talking about my beginning HIV story and where I am now, but recently I returned my energies back towards gay rights in our country - something I hadn’t cared much about since I began with HIV.  Now I advocate for both the rights of positive people and gay people. 

I’ve endlessly told my HIV story and spoke about my background on many websites, including my own blog site and in particularly, Robert Breining’s POZ I AM site where individuals recently diagnosed can find a safe haven.  Now that it’s been over two years since my diagnosis I’ve acquired the skill to summarize my limited experience (time-wise) with HIV in a couple of paragraphs. That way it leaves the dialogue open for people to reach out to me for further details.  

I was diagnosed January 21, 2010.  I went into a severe depression that only took a downward direction when I was told that it was in my best interests to start medications right away given my low T-cell count at the time.  I began my regimen March 27, 2010 and was declared undetectable with a growing T-cell count by June.  I was lucky and once I knew that there was nothing to worry about I disclosed my status to my parents one hot July evening at home.  Following that,  I went viral with a YouTube video that disclosed my status to friends, relatives, co-workers and strangers.  The video continues to get recognition and praise for the most part and can be found at the end of this post. 

My video skills have since improved, but I’ll never forget how nervous I was when I filmed it.  It took almost a whole day to get my words right.  One can probably pick up on the fact that I stuttered with my words, trying to get all my feelings out in ten minutes (I thought it would be my only video.)  Needless to say when it was published my Facebook page, my cell phone and email FLOODED with responses from all my connections of life.  They cried and admired, making sure I was okay and that I wasn’t dying.  Talking to everyone as if I was a doctor explaining how my HIV isn’t killing me, I quickly realized that I made a breakthrough with my words and began a stepping stone for people’s idea of HIV.  Sky was the limit for me from that point on.  This coming August that video will be two years old. 

So there you have it, my HIV history in a speedy nutshell.  I’m not one for living in the past as I have a mind to just look at the road ahead- bumps and smooth terrain alike- with a little more knowledge and experience under my belt. 

I’m at a place in my life where I meet people in bars or social events and I talk about my HIV like it’s an everyday thing - because it is, in retrospect.  I know disclosing isn’t as easy for everyone, but I’d like to think my one voice will encourage others to come out, negative and positive, and talk about HIV.  Besides, I’m tired of being a third class citizen - second because I’m homosexual and third for being an HIV positive homosexual. And don’t get me started on HIV-positive women in this country as my heart will always have a place for them. 

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve transitioned my HIV story from being recently diagnosed to living with HIV.  I’m stealing the “So What, Now What?” slogan.  I live in America where the news and media is lately saturated about our President’s support for gay marriage.  Sure, I’m happy to hear about his support, but I’m one of those people that want to see action.  After all it is an election year in our country and isn’t timing just everything?  What happens if one day my body’s virus takes a turn for the worse and my partner at the time is unable to see me in the hospital? 

With my “so what, now what” attitude and my HIV in a healthy check I reassembled my fight for gay rights that I put on the backburner since January 21, 2010.  I’m still hopeful that more and more of our states and provinces will approve equal rights for all.  This will be quite a year in our country with the election, the mass hysteria over gay rights and the International AIDS Conference being held this summer in Washington, D.C.  The President won’t be able to hide then when he’s asked why America has a waiting list for medications and treatment for even one  individual too many and what he plans to do about it.  

I can’t wait when a few decades down the road I’m writing the memoir of my life and I make jokes at the fact that I remember a world that opposed gay marriage and people feared HIV.  Those were the days.  However, that future I set will only be a reality if more people like me come out from the shadows and scream about their HIV.