Love Story

Valentine’s Day is not just a time for romance.  It’s a day to show that you care for others, like friends, family, and loved ones.

For me, Valentine’s Day has never really been a special occasion.  Growing up, my grandmother and mom would always get my sister and I a box of chocolates.  I remember my sister would always stick her finger in the bottom of each piece to see what the flavor was.  I really think she did that just to make sure that no one would eat them.

As I grew up, the importance of the holiday never really sunk in with me, no matter if I was single or in a relationship.  It was just a normal day for me.  What I never understood was why just show how you feel towards all the special people in your life one day of the year.  I try to make sure that everyone in my life knows just how special they are to me.

This is also a time when depression sets in and we look back on our lives and think fondly of the loved ones lost.  A few weeks ago a friend lost someone very close to her.  He found out that he was HIV-positive, and he was in a nine-year relationship with his partner who was HIV-positive.  When he found out he decided to hang himself instead of talking to anyone about it, leaving behind his partner, his family, and his friends in shock with so many questions unanswered.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all those involved.

For me, this Valentine’s Day is different.  I finally get it, and I understand the whole lovey-dovey-gooey feelings that consume everyone.  I want to share how Scott and I met; hopefully you will see what I mean when I said I finally get it.  So that you get the full gist of it, let me fill you in on the back story.

A friend of mine, Kesha, kept trying to hook me up with her friend for awhile, but I was unsure if I was ready to meet up with anyone new – so I avoided her.  I had been single for a year after getting out of a five-year relationship, which was not the best. So I was a little gun-shy, so to speak.  I spent the days in the office and nights either at home keeping my dogs company or training for the AIDS Life/Cycle.  So, I always seemed to have an excuse as to why I wasn’t hanging out with her.  Besides, I was thinking about leaving Kentucky to move to San Francisco anyway, so I wasn’t interested in meeting anyone.

It wasn’t until Memorial Day weekend of last year that I saw Kesha and agreed that when I returned from the AIDS/LifeCycle I would go out with her and meet her friend.  I went to the guy’s going away party the Friday after I returned, which also happened to be Louisville’s gay pride weekend.  At that point, I had made up my mind to put my house up for sale and focus on moving back to San Francisco, so I was going to the party just to make Kesha happy.

Friday quickly came and I was meeting with the realtor prior to heading out to meet her.  Everything was set; the house was listed, a sale sign was posted in the yard and I was running late to the restaurant.  While walking up to the entrance of the restaurant this guy came up to me and said, “Nick, I’m Scott.  Kesha and everyone is in the far back”.  As I was walking to the table I noticed Kesha and the guy she wanted me to meet.  I took a seat between them and was feeling a bit out of sorts.  I ordered a few drinks and started to relax.  Don’t get me wrong - her friend was cute and seemed like a nice guy but there were a few things that stopped us from clicking.  He was moving away to New Orleans in two weeks and, I didn’t feel a connection with him.

Everyone at the party left the restaurant and started walking to the Belvedere, which is an area along the Ohio River waterfront.  I started talking to Scott as we were walking around.  I thought he was in a relationship with someone that was at the party.  As the night went on, we kept getting to know each other further.  I remember asking Kesha what the deal with Scott was and if he and his friend were seeing each other.  To my wonderment, they were merely good friends.  Scott was playing coy, saying to me, “you were here for someone else.  I don’t want to get in the middle of that.”

I couldn’t help it.  I was drawn to him and his personality; there was something about him.  So, I continued to pursue him as we bar-hopped.  We ended up at a bar called The Connection, a GLBT Night Club.

Do you all believe in love at first sight?  Well, I never did until this night.  I started having feelings the moment we started talking.  I could tell he was into me so I wanted to be upfront and honest with him about my status.  We were outside in the smoking section and I was really nervous but I had to tell him before things moved any further.  “Look, I like you and I really want to get to know you more, but I want to be honest with you.  I’m HIV-positive”, I said.  With a big grin on his face Scott said “so am I”.

We went back in and headed to the dance floor.  I went to Kesha and asked her why she never introduced me to Scott before.  She said that if I went to her Kentucky Derby party last year I would have met him.  We have been together pretty much every night since that first night.

If there is anything I have learned from meeting Scott it would be two things.  Be open to meeting new people; you never know how they will impact your life.  Also, if you are given the chance of love, take it.

With all this talk about love and Valentine’s Day I want to take a moment to say this to Scott. I never knew I always needed you, you are my one true complement, and you give me shelter and strength. My life would be incomplete without you, so this is my way of officially proposing; would you do me the honor of being my partner for life?

Update, February 22, 2012. Scott said yes!!!