You can read part one here. 

A Roadie is a person who volunteers their time for a full week of AIDS/LifeCycle working on the event.  Roadies are selfless, dedicated and unbelievably committed as they all volunteer to work the AIDS/LifeCycle.  For 7 days, these folks dedicate their time, energy and hearts to waking up very early, going to sleep very late and being in charge of pretty much all the work that happens on the event.  This includes, but it’s definitely not limited to, setting up and breaking down campsites and rest stops, serving meals, pouring water, making electrolyte drinks, picking up trash, parking bicycles, fixing bicycles, picking up exhausted riders, wrapping sore knees, giving massages, leading cheers, giving directions, hanging signs, making the route, and just about anything else you can think of.  In addition to all this work, Roadies are known for giving hugs, making you laugh, and generally keeping you on your toes.

The food service team was filled with all types of people.  We had a fashion designer who was a rider that was hurt and placed on the team at orientation day, a grandmother and granddaughter, loving mothers, past riders, veteran roadies, friends, a high school teacher, a musician,  a baker, a comedian, personal trainer, just to name a few.  Each Roadie team has their own theme for each day of the ride, this allows the Roadies to have some fun and to make a long day of cycling start and end with a laugh and smile for the riders.  The food service team themes for last year were fun.

The breakfast theme was the same every morning while we were serving breakfast. The theme was Pajama Party.  That’s right we got to wear our PJ’s.  Some wore their bathrobes, hair curlers and kimonos as well.  Some of the other themes were as follows.

Night 1 – Birth Place Night - This allowed us an opportunity to celebrate where we were born.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything for this night so I wore a baseball hat and a hoodie.

Night 2 – Rainbow/Crayola Night - The riders were riding 100 miles on this day.  The only thing we were told that we couldn’t wear was rainbow boas because the feathers get in the food.  So, I wore my red Positive Pedalers t-shirt and my rainbow suspenders.  I think I got the kid size because they kept pulling my shorts up to heights that were really uncomfortable.  I started to look and feel like I was the white Steve Urkel.

Night 3 – Dessert Night – I was amazed by some of these costumes and the detail these people put into them.  One of the team members dressed up as an ice cream cone and passed out cherry stickers.

Night 4 – Pet/Favorite Animal Night – This had to be one of my favorite night themes, I wore a monkey on my head. There was also a unicorn, a butterfly, a cat, Roadie-kill, people with shirts of their pets, etc.  It was a time to let out our inner animal self and so we did.

I should discuss Day 5 -- Red Dress Day.  The true name is Dress in Red Day. However, leave it to a bunch of gay men to turn it into Red Dress Day.  This is a very fun day for the entire camp.  My red dress costume was a long Mexican inspired dress with a Dora the Explorer piñata as a headdress.  After breakfast we gathered for a team photo on the playground of the Santa Maria campground.

Night 5 – Circus Night – There were clowns, a lion tamer, a ringmaster, and a magician’s apprentice.

Night 6 – Movie Night – We were in Santa Barbara and since we are so close to Hollywood we might as well celebrate Tinsel town.  Team members dressed up in their Hollywood attire.  There was Max from Where The Wild Things Are, Ari Gold from Entourage, a film director, Star Trek personnel, Austin Powers dancers, a cowboy, The Pink Ladies from Grease, to name a few and we even had someone dress up as a concession stand with all sorts of candy hanging off his body.  Myself, I was able to finally take my long walk down the red carpet to the blinding flashes of the paparazzi.

Not only was it the last night for the ride, it was the last time we would be serving dinner on the ride.  On the last night after dinner when it started to get dark it was time for the Candlelight Vigil on the shore of Venture Beach.  Up to 3,000 people created a massive rectangle of silent reverence for those lost and those suffering.  This was a very sobering experience and after it was over you walk up to the water to put your candle out in the waves.  In my case the candle wouldn’t go out so I kept trying to catch the waves after about the third time I stumbled and stepped into the ocean at the same time the wave came up and soaked me from the shin down.  I took off my shoes and socks and walked the beach in my bare feet back to my tent.

On day 7 we arrived in Los Angles to a crowd of people cheering as the riders were making it into the city.  At the closing ceremonies the guest speaker was the wonderful actress Jane Lynch, whom incidentally is a past rider.  We were told that the AIDS/LifeCycle 10 broke all fundraising goals.  Riders, Roadies, and Staff raised over 13 million dollars to help benefit the San Francisco AIDS foundation and the LA Gay and Lesbian center to fight HIV/AIDS.

After the ride was over and I was on my way back home to Louisville, I was a changed man.  The ride not only made me feel part of a larger community; it made me realize that I am just a part of a much larger world.  It’s very humbling. The world does not revolve around me, and there was still so much love in the world despite what the news says.  It gave me the chance to meet some amazing people and renewed my belief in human kindness.

I enjoy getting to meet new people and hearing the many stories they want to share.  But most of all I enjoy the opportunities of helping others.  Even in the most difficult of situations, being able to help someone and seeing the smile on their face is amazing.  I wanted to share this story so that you will get a glimpse into what the AIDS/LifeCycle is like if you decided to join.  Each person’s experience is and will be different but one thing is for sure; you will be changed for the better.

I am extremely excited for ALC this year.  My partner, Scott, has signed up and will be part of the food service team.  I will be able to share something that means a lot to me with him.  As I close this story I want to leave you with words of inspiration from last year’s AIDS/LifeCycle.  “Life is too short to wake up with regrets.  Believe everything happens for a reason.  If you get a chance, take it.  If it changes your life, let.  Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.  Applaud yourself.”  The Chicken Lady, ALC10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been writing about my dare (doing a stand-up comedy set at a popular local open mic night) for The Stephen Lewis Foundation and the angst it was causing me. 

From the moment I booked the night (a big thank you to Jo-anna Downey for putting me on so quickly when she has 200 requests from comics in her email account), I felt a horrible sense of anxiety. “What have I done? 

For the last month every time I thought of getting up on the Spirit’s stage my stomach just dropped. Why did I agree to do this? Not that anyone twisted my arm; I volunteered myself.. Why do a dare if it isn’t going to be challenging in some way? I’ve always wanted to do stand-up but had been way too terrified to try it.

A friend asked me the other day, “Why are you doing this if it makes you so anxious?” Good question!

I’ve always been attracted to doing things that were very scary for me. As a kid I was so shy it crippled me. If another kid  - I was about years old then - was walking down the street towards me, I’d have to cross to the other side, as I couldn’t bear the moment of passing each other.

In grade 7 I was offered a scholarship to go to music camp. I turned it down because it terrified me too much. I stayed this way until university where I’d drop a course the first day if I learned that I had to do any kind of presentation. 

It’s been a slow process challenging that, beginning with public speaking. In the 80s in Winnipeg there were horrible things going on. I couldn’t stand people’s attitudes. The opportunity presented itself, kind of like doing stand up, and I did it. From there it grew to speaking to many groups and the media too.

The only way I can grow is if I take risks in life. This is part of my healthy risk taking. Those who were there last night got to learn about some of my "unhealthy" risk taking. The only thing that was at risk last night was my ego. I could have easily bombed, but I didn’t.

All this anxiety turned quickly into a moment that was a lot of fun, once I got up there. Before I knew it, the light was being flashed to let me know my time was up. The audience was with me from the moment I got on the stage. 

I had such a blast. I really have to thank The Stephen Lewis Foundation for this. If it weren’t for their Dare Campaign I would have never done stand up. I couldn’t get past the fear. 

At the end of the day, we raised $750 for the foundation. They do great work with AIDS in Africa, particularly women, children, and orphans. I’ve been and worked in Africa. Jokes aside; it’s work that is near to my heart. I’ve never fundraised for any other organization before.

Afterwards, the host came up to me and told me I was really good and invited me to her other open mic show on Tuesday nights. This meant so much to me as I’ve watched her host many times. Friends of mine that I didn’t think would be showing up came and sent me great text messages after.

There is nothing like the rush of taking on something really scary and just doing it. I would have been happy just with the fact that I walked through the fear, no matter how well I did. But I have to admit it’s great icing on the cake that it turned out so stellar.

The moral of the story is dare yourself something that you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid to. There is a Dare Campaign every year; do that dare and raise money. You’ll feel great for having done it.

Only two days to go and my stomach still sinks with butterflies thinking of getting up at Spirits on Wednesday night. It’s all for a good cause, and I know it will be fun once I’m up there. I’ll feel exhilarated for having taken on a huge fear, no matter what the outcome is.

I have to admit, the open-mic meltdown night in Hamilton did help out.(For those who don't know, the last comic told a couple of annoying and constantly interrupting audience members to go fuck themselves. The bar owner cut the guys mic off and suddenly show was over).

I learned that at least some things people will laugh at. The subject of actually doing gay porn is a winning topic. Just when I thought I didn't have any more ways to horrify mother, I'm now going on stage and talking about all this shit. And she was surprised at me becoming Jewish!. Look out!. 

Since that explosive open-mic night, the open mic night has found a new home. I don’t blame comics for not wanting to go back after the owner cut the mic and threw one comic off the stage.

Jo-anna Downey, the host of the evening and many of the comics I consider role models. There’s an irony there since I’m in twelve-step programs for drugs and alcohol, and this is the place the war stories are made, and I'm jumping in sober as can be. 

The old days would have been much easier. I could have just woken up and someone could have told me how it went. 

Fortunately for me, I got my Botox done last week. I vaguely make a frown. Now none of you will see how terrified I am. Just like June Elision I can be shitting my pants and nobody will know. Unlike June though, I’d prefer not to golf through the rest of the 18 holes left. Something about that just doesn’t seem right.

One night I had actually shit my pants at Spirits, the comic was that funny. It was a stellar line up that night with comics working on their material before the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. This guy came out and was so dark and edgy doing stuff about tiger rape. You really had to be there. Let’s just say that he chewed a new one out a woman with more precision skill and outrageousness than any drag queen I’ve seen. That says a lot.

I opened my mouth to let out a huge, LOL, and I shit my pants. What was going on was so friggin funny, and I was trying to ignore that “triage” moment of “can I stick this out, or do I need to take care of this.” I had to run and take care of it, so by the time I came back the fellow was getting a standing ovation. 

Yes folks, the new gold standard of comedy has risen to a new low.  With my Botox, you’ll never know if anyone will ever make that a repeat. I may even sit it out for the whole thing.

This is why I say I miss the great moments. When the open-mic got shut down I was in the washroom. I came downstairs to “comedy interruptus”

Since I committed to this, I’ve felt my stomach drop with anxiety every time I’ve thought of it. I’m sure it will be a lot of fun, and once it’s over I’ll be looking for the next place I can go. It’s just a lot of pressure. Meanwhile the Stephen Lewis Foundation has been putting out press releases.. It’s not like just quietly stepping up to the mic and trying out some material and sitting back down again.

At the end of the day it’s about the $700 raised for a very good cause, AIDS in Africa, in particular helping woman and children.

It all started out innocently enough - one email from the communications woman (hi Lauryn!) at The Stephen Lewis Foundation asking if I could do something to help out with their fundraising “Dare Campaign.”

How it works is that someone dares you to do something, and then, based on that dare the individual gets people to sponsor him or her.

I probably don’t have to say much more to get everyone’s imagination going. And no -  I’m not going to strip or do something naked as a few friends suggested. Just my opinion, but if I’m going to do a dare, I’d like to do something like I haven’t done before.  I’ve never stripped before. However, despite all the things I’ve done in my life, I draw the line at dancing in front of an audience.

At first I wanted to do something very low key, raise a few dollars and write about it. I’m so busy these days I really didn’t want an activity that was going to consume all of my time and energy.

To make a long story shorter, I was asked to do an interview about the as-yet unchosen dare. Now the pressure was on to pick something interesting, so I chose doing a set of stand-up comedy. Compared to jumping out of a plane this seemed much easier.

That was until the arrangements were made. Now every time I think of it, my stomach drops to the first floor of my building, and I live on the 8^th floor.

The one challenge I don’t have is what to use as material. I have a collection built from writing my former blog, Acid Reflux, on MyGayToronto.com, and “fab” magazine. I’ve covered such hard-hitting topics as my first professional pubic hair cut, and public masturbation as the gay version of groundhog day.

Having never done standup before, though,I haven’t had the opportunity to test drive anything. That’s the hard part  - going up cold and not knowing what the reaction will be. One always fears the possibility of a wall of silence and blank stares.

On New Year’s Eve I was invited over to a friend’s place - a couple, and they had another couple over that I hadn’t met. These are all new friends so they haven’t heard of all my stuff before. As a way to secretly gauge if any of this stuff was funny I’d find ways to slip bits and pieces into the conversation. It seemed to work; they laughed and then later I fessed up to what I was doing and told them about this dare.

Surprisingly, the open mic set was easy - too easy - to set up. It 's on January 18^th at the Spirits Bar & Grill, 642 Church St, Toronto, for better or for worse. A big thank you to Jo-anna Downey, the evening's host and great comic, for being so accommodating.

I’ll be getting up on stage. If you’d like to come by and support me in this effort, please do. The open mic is free, however if you’d like to donate, you can here.

My fundraising goal is $250, and I think you'll agree it's a small price to buy my humiliation. 

I don’t think in the future I’ll make skydiving my comparator when it comes to challenge level.  Otherwise I’m going to be doing a hell of a lot of stuff I’d rather not be doing, if you catch my drift.

Here is a video I did when I was stuck in the house in a cast for three months.

 

Based on Toronto’s Jessica Whitbread’s ‘No Pants, No Problem’ party, the AIDS Committee of Ottawa is throwing the ‘No Pants Dance’ on Saturday, May the 28^th at Gallery 101 (301 ½ Bank Street) with DJ Skid Vicious!

The sex-positive, anti-body fascist, queer, safer sex celebration aims to engage party-goers in a dialogue towards discussing anal and testicular/cervical cancer and health, HPV, and HIV in a holistic health model.

ACO outreach workers and volunteers will also be on hand to distribute safer sex materials, party favours from Squirt.org, and sell buttons. Also in attendance; representatives from the Underwear Affair who will be signing up any eager and/or drunk party-goers interested in helping The Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation increase cancer survivorship for cancer’s that hit below the belt on their June 11^th fundraising run.

To purchase tickets, visit After Stonewall (370 Bank Street) and Venus Envy (320 Lisgar Street). Tickets are $5.

With BASHFUL over, my friends and co-workers turned their attention to attending the hearing of Stephen Harper's appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada to end InSite's life-saving work as North America's only supervised injection site. In the afternoon, they would take to Parliament Hill as part of a pro-choice presence during the ‘March For Life‘. Ottawa’s closeted gay Mayor Jim Watson had controversially declared it ‘Respect For Life Day’, and a women’s right to choose a “slippery slope”, and thousands of anti-abortion protesters had flocked to the Hill. A few days later, my friends and co-workers would once again have to rally, this time at the grassroots International AIDS Candlelight Memorial at Minto Park. Guest speakers, performers, activists, and allies gathered to remember those who had been, continue to, or will be, affected by HIV/AIDS in our community.

While I wish I could have been a presence at all three events, fundraisers, social justice advocates, and PHA’s all found themselves spread thin that week as Ottawa played host to even more special events. On May 14th I attended the National Day of Action for Electoral Reform to protest the arbitrary and antiquated nature of Canada’s parliamentary system and demanded an electoral process in which everybody’s vote counts. (Only 40% of Canadians supported the government on our May 2 election, and yet it resulted in a Conservative majority.) M.P.‘s Elizabeth May, and Paul Dewar spoke at the non-partisan event, as did Julien LaMarche of Fair Vote Canada.  

The next morning I took part in the 20th anniversary of the M.S. Walk in Ottawa as a team member of S-Mart. We raised $11,860, largely because of the amazing fundraising done by Team Captain Adam Goldberg. The Walk helps fund research and local programs and services for people living with multiple sclerosis. My thanks to everyone who donated and walked with team S-Mart this year in the rain. Next year, team S-Mart will reclaim its crown as the number one fundraising team in Ottawa for the M.S. Society. Although, this year, we were pleased to be number two.