Left - Cover picture for John’s portfolio of writings about performing in The Laramie Project – Ten Years Later, a play written by Moises Kaufman and members of the Tectonic Theatre Project.

We’re now at the end, but it’s only another beginning

This incredible theatrical masterpiece has drawn to an end here, but only with respect to the performances that had been scheduled.  Both Wednesday and Friday nights performances achieved standing ovations. 

Thursday’s matinee unfortunately had some audience members pulled from attending.  This performance in particular was set aside for GSA (gay/straight alliance) students and their teachers, but I guess their concern was the dialogue was not suitable for students to hear.  In my mind this has proven not only to show a lack of trust from members of our community, but also sheer disrespect to this young man’s legacy.  All of us as a society should never deny others from experiencing a record pf historical events, especially those which have changed our laws. 

I’m taking the liberty, having portrayed Matthew’s father in this production, to say to the world “Yes, my son was and would have been an inspiring and wonderful extension to our human race” had he only been given the chance.

I want to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read my personal thoughts on this story. I’ve only wanted to shed a little light on such a horrible event that took place in our history. 

Bye for now………………..The Dreamer

The bottom line first: a surprisingly conventional drama cloaked in unconventional garb, this is a love story that’s both intensely familiar and, thanks to the use of dance segments which illustrate the action, unique and exciting.  Combine this formula with highly disciplined and skillful acting of the first order and you have a show that tries hard to please – and does, in spades.

What’s it about? Simple really – and all highly accessible. Fresh-faced young Alan is new in town from Espanola, Ontario exploring the bar/club scene.  One night at the bar he meets the attractive and experienced Bart who beds him and rejects him.  Trouble is young Alan likes older Bart – a lot, and won’t give up that easily. Meanwhile Bart’s partner, scholarly Calder, falls in love with Alan, but his love is not returned.  As they say, complications ensue.

This is a story of modern sexual manners – how men meet, mate (or not) and deal with the consequences. It’s zippy lines are clever and often funny, but also ring true with a keen sense of language and gritty realism that writer Sky Gilbert wields expertly.

The oddity here is the use of dance segments to illustrate the action, choreographed by Sky Gilbert and Keith Cole. Each scene here, which takes place in modern day Toronto, is followed by a stylized dance/movement piece with a highly different feel and look to the dramatic action preceding it. They are for the most part romantically orchestrated throwbacks to yesteryear, with the protagonists dancing out what the audience has just witnessed. 

The production positively sizzles with stellar performances on the part of all three leads. Newcomer Nick Green (above) as young Alan is a revelation, clearly someone to watch in both senses, with his very finely nuanced performance full of depth and maturity.  But impressive too, as one might expect, is seasoned favourite Ryan Kelly, of The Normal Heart and Living with Henry.  We also liked David Benjamin-Tomlinson  who rounded out the trio.

If one has issues with this show it is inevitably how the two main elements of this production – drama and dance – meld.  At times, the transitions seem a bit ungainly, and the juxtaposition of such disparate elements may not work for everybody.  Personally I liked the idea – I thought it added freshness and intrigue and charm.

All in all, though, this quirky production is a success. Buddies tends to be a reliable source of contemporary queer theatre, and this production, mounted by Sky Gilbert's own The Cabaret Company, is no exception.  Go see it.

Dancing Queen is at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander Street, Toronto until April 29.

Tickets via the Box Office at 416-975-8555 or T.O.Tix/Ticketweb 

It’s starting to snow……go figure. On the day of Matthew’s funeral, it snowed more than it had ever snowed before in Laramie, Wyoming.

We had about a 7-hour rehearsal yesterday. The excitement of rehearsing with lights and music greatly notched it to another level.  For all those who have performed on stage, you know exactly what I’m talking about here.  Yes, I’m back at Queen Street Commons Café, whic as you know, tended to be from where I have done most of my writing for this blog. 

My next project to take on for myself is to hopefully create a full-length production of the “NUTCRACKER”.  I have always wanted to create a work of my own and utilize our local talents.  This will, however, be an unusual version of this magnificent and magical masterpiece. I wish to name this version the “Drag Queen Nutcracker”, which I hope will create its own magic and sincerity.  We have a wonderful individual who represents our community, and has for many years showcased his/her talents in creating diversity and charisma.  Brad, or Miss Drew as she is known in the drag community, provides strength and courage to so many believers.  Although I still have to approach him for confirmation of commitment on this, he is certainly the most appropriate person to be asked initially, as he has shown and proven time and time again his commitment to our community.

Just the other day one of the clients of The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener and Waterloo (ACCKWA) came in with her newborn, bouncing baby boy – 6lbs, 2 ozs.  His name is Adrian - so cute, and yes I held him like he was my own.  In case you’ve forgotten, we were all this tiny at one time - so innocent, full of life, with dreams that were still unfolding in our heads as we slept, easily made to giggle and smile, material objects that made us curious and emotions that grasped our integrity.  These are all continuous features as we grow older, until someone steals it all away from us.

 I’m so sad to see this show coming to a close soon, both for the commitment I’ve made to do this for myself and the connections I’m making with others in the production.  We’re all a continuous development, persuaded by one another.

When an opportunity like this knocks at your door, you either accept the offer or not.  I’m very glad I did, and I will always remember the graciousness I feel within to have been chosen for the role of Matthew’s father.  The loyalty in his words, the conviction and strength he has portrayed to his family and loved ones, has undoubtedly had a significant impact on whom I have become out of all this.  So Dennis……………I am truly sorry this horrific event had to take place, and I wish my portfolio will provide you with some honour and reassurance of whom your loving son Matthew certainly would have become himself, had his own life not been stripped away from him.

IN SUMMARY

We all have been granted life by the powers to be, or however one wishes to look at it.  What we do with our lives is our choice. But it’s not our rightful choice to decide a person’s destiny through simply eradicating them from the face of the earth.

There cannot be enough good things to say about Matthew Wayne Shepard with respect to the wonderful son that he was, and the person he would have continued to be through his own internal desire to live.  I have to say  “Mr McKinney, you had no right to take it upon yourself to make such a decision of power.” 

And as Matthew’s Father said again: “May you have a long life, and may you thank Matthew everyday for it”.  Your remaining days in prison will undoubtedly provide your own loss with not bringing up  or spending your life with your own son.  I’m certain you could have been a decent civilized human-being had you not been so arrogant and  foolish.  I do however, wish all the best for your own son, as your actions will have an impact on who he becomes, unfortunately.  (It’s a generation thing I guess?)  If I may say: “You felt Matthew was not fit to live on this planet – quite the contrary, you’re not fit to live on this planet. “  

Matthew, your legacy is HUGE…………….and memories of the person that you were will live on generation after generation.  Remember, in 1998, it was called The Hate Crimes Prevention Act. In 2007, it was re-named The Matthew Shepard Act.

Please Note:  I am on a deadline to get these blogs put together and sent off to the Shepard Family, so I will blog in the near future on the outcome of the performances, which begin in only a couple of days from now…………..hope to see you there.

Bye for now…………The Dreamer 

Tickets for the “Laramie Project – 10 years later”  are only $5.  Speak to Deardra or Karen at  519-496-5383  for show details .

Performances run April 25-27  at Sizzle, 135 George Street North, Cambridge. Ontario

Tickets can be purchased at SIZZLE -- open Wednesday to Saturday evenings, or by email -- This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Last night I spent a couple of hours with someone I just met at the Queen Street Commons Café.  He is an artist, does paintings of cyclists around the world at various events.  He explained that some of his subjects have never been painted before.

Our conversation went to extreme depth with respect to life and how we see ourselves as humans on this earth.  Instead of working on projects I had set out for myself, I chose to listen, which I must say has not been something I’ve done overly well in the past.  We get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget about what life is really all about.

This gentleman stated at one point his concerns when he hears people say……….”I really have to take some time to explore the outdoors”, as the tendency is for people to forget that we’re around nature every day.

I told him of a friend, an actress, who shared with me how she had done many of Shakespeare’s plays.  Her and one other person had a scene with just the two of them on stage for 90 minutes, which helped me feel not so bad about the lines I was having to rehearse for the play.  And she only had 6 weeks to memorize all her lines.  I said………..funny, we just met each other, and we’ve been sitting here for 2 hours having a non-stop conversation.  And we both realized that our conversation could have been presented on stage in front of an audience, one that required no rehearsal time.  Basically, our thoughts are simply an extension of someone else’s thoughts that create our everyday existence. 

Regarding participating in The Laramie Project, it was brought to our attention from the beginning that most, if not all, of the characters in this play are alive today. Of course Matthew isn’t. And I only want to see all of us do those characters justice, all of them having had to be part of such a tragedy.

My goal is to some day take all of my blogs throughout the duration of this play and put them together to send to the Shepard family, as a token of my love and respect.

I suppose this will be the final posting before the performances begin, and then one more posting afterwards to express my final thoughts and emotions on having been part of this incredible story of a young man’s brief time on earth. 

One thing I’d like to say at this point i: "Matthew – our  thoughts and prayers are with you always, and yes this horrible event has undoubtedly shed more hope and given perseverance to those of us still here to keep on making a difference."

Of course we must not forget Matthew’s mother (seen on video below).  One of my characters I play, Dave O’Malley, is quoted as saying “My partner Constable Debree and I went to Washington seven or eight times with Judy Shepard to advocate for the Federal hate crimes bill.  What’s been the hardest part for me to comprehend is it would have passed in 1999 under Clinton, but sexual orientation was included.  It would have passed the next time, but gender-identity was the hang up.  And of course Bush threatened his veto if you put that language in there.  So, here it is, three Administrations later, and the legislation's still not a reality”.

I’m currently again at Queen Street Commons Café, and ironically the young woman that’s playing Judy Shepard just popped in to get herself some lunch as well.  I’m fascinated by everyone in the cast, simply because their truest and utmost qualities as human beings are at heart.  I feel I can say this, considering I never knew any of them before rehearsing for this play, because as a former artist I feel a connection to their honesty and commitment.

I get very upset when politicians say that the arts are not an important part of society.  On the contrary, they makes us whole.

I did not choose the name The Dreamer for nothing, as I truly feel that one day this world as we know it will be at peace, with or without us present.

I realize that I have taken the liberty of not talking more about the play, but rather myself. Similar to going to see a movie, you don’t want someone to tell you too much about it, just that you have to see it!

As for the parents of Matthew, I just can’t imagine going on with life, having lost a child, especially in this manner.  I just feel that we as a society should make every attempt to provide comfort and strength to those who are suffering as a result of such tragedies.  So Judy Shepard and all of her family  should be included amongst the Heroes of Our Time).

P.S.    Please see previous blog for ticket information, etc……..thank-you. 

 

Inside tbe world of drag

Most of you know me as DJ Relentless, but I am also known as Jade Elektra and I just spent Easter Weekend in Chicago competing in The Miss Continental Elite Pageant. As an out HIV-positive person, it was really a great weekend for me to represent Canada in my first national pageant.

Ever since I came out on the gay scene back in Tampa in the mid 80's, the drag world has always been a major fascination for me. I remember going to The El Goya and seeing my first drag show that featured Joey Brooks, Stephanie Shippae, Bobbie Lake and Gilda Golden. These were the performers who would mold my view of what it meant to be a female impersonator. Glamorous and larger than life. I knew after that show I wanted to be an entertainer.

Back then, there was a talent show on Mondays at a place called René's. This bar was known for producing some of the top title holders. Tiffani Middlesexx, Tiffany Arieagus, Mahogany, Chena Kelly, Lakeisha Lucky, Esme Russell, Dana Douglas, Dana Manchester, Patti Cakes and countless others were headliners there. They had the best talent show in town. Queens would come from Miami and Orlando to make an impression and win $100. Many of today's top legends got their start in that talent show. René's could make or break you. 

First Steps

A wonderful hostess named Tony Rose watched my first attempt at getting attention with a concept number of Stephanie Mills' cover of "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore". I am very glad that no photos have surfaced. I had no idea how to do make up or that I really needed a wig to cover up my jheri-curled hair (remember it was the 80's). But I guess Tony saw some potential in me and pulled me aside after one of the most humiliating nights of my life. She told me that I should show up early the next week and she would help me with my make up. She gave me my first Millie Jackson record, "Live & Uncensored" and told me to learn something off this. She surprised me the next week with not only doing my make up, but also donating my first drag outfit, a simple white Dynasty dress (at least that's what I called it) and a wig. She was my very first drag mother. They don't make 'em like that anymore. This was back when the older queens would teach the younger gyrls the way. God, I miss those days. 

I came up with some of the new crop of gyrls back in those days. Simplicity Hart, Tomeka Love, Donna White, Regina Rheal, Natasha Richards, Tiffany McCray, Syreeta Montiel, Crystal Clear, LaTonya Rogers, Monique LaBelle  and Ebony (my first drag name before becoming Jade Elektra in 1992) were names that dominated that Monday night talent contest. 

With all the tutorials on YouTube and shows like Drag Race, the young gyrls today think they don't need a guiding hand. And all the bad habits and horrible attitudes that RuPaul's little creation has spawned has straight audiences and younger gays believing that this is the future for drag, that your fifteen minutes are your ticket to stardom. But like Madonna said in her interview on Anderson when asked about reality TV celebrities "It may get you in the door, it doesn't guarantee you will stay at the party". And no truer words were ever spoken.  

The Pageant

So, being a contestant in The Continental Elite Pageant was an honour. When I walked into registration at the Park West Theatre and saw Dana Douglas I became a little drag kid again. I remember when she won Miss Continental in 1987. I remember her performance of "Black Velvet" at The Miss Florida pageant that year with this amazing long train to her dress. I began talking with her, thinking she must be a judge, or there to help organize the pageant. But when Jim Flint and Ginger Grant called everyone over to sign up she came over as well. I knew right then that I was looking at this year's winner. This was drag royalty. It would not matter if I had jumped through hoops of fire or what any of the other gyrls were doing - this was the winner for 2012.

After watching and listening closely to the whispered conversations, I learned that some of these gyrls had been in this pageant system for years. Unfortunately I believe they are stuck in it.

Now...anyone who knows me knows that I don't mince words. So, if you are easily offended or you can only see your point of view, I suggest you stop reading right now. Because I am about to tell you what I really think about the Continental pageant system along with most pageants. This is no different than the ballroom scene. These people spend thousands and thousands of dollars to enter these competitions and for what? At the end of the day what does it all mean? Absolutely nothing outside of that circle. They lure you in with the glamour and glitz of what you see on stage, but all the stuff that goes on in the background would probably make a sane person say I will have nothing to do with this.

I also think of the pageant system as a pyramid scheme. Someone on the top of the pyramid is making money off all the people who are involved. Kind of like how RuPaul is making all the money from Drag Race and the contestants are left fighting to be on that show to get a chance to be in the spotlight. And just like the mafia, they take care of their own. Once you are in the family, you are always in the family. But if you don't get accepted into the family, you are encouraged to come back and try again. They might dangle a small prize to keep you interested, but make no mistake....they want your time and money.

Augmentation

Back when I was coming up on the scene, bar owners and promoters would help the gyrls get their breasts done and any reconstructive surgery you would need to be the next beauty. For a while there were a few who wanted to make me into the next Stephanie Shippae. They would have paid for everything if I gave them my youth and innocence. But the one thing I always enjoyed at the end of the show was taking all that stuff off and being Alphonso King Jr. My motto was and still is "If I can't take it off at the end of night, then I don't need it."

I remember my first year in New York City I met a queen named Consuela. She was taller than me (I'm 6' 4") and had these insanely huge implants. At that time I was a DJ at a tranny hooker bar called Sally's on 43rd Street. Consuela got really drunk one night and came over and talked to me as I was packing up for the evening and what she said has always stayed in my head. "If I knew what I know now, I would have never done any of this to myself. You are so lucky. Stay just the way you are. It's not cute waking up at 40 to find that not even 7-11 will hire you."

So, what do you do when you have altered yourself so much that you are unrecognizable and you have implants and facial hair? You are stuck in that life for the rest of your life. Unless you have had some of the best doctors over the years (which most of these gyrls have not) you are probably not healthy from the silicone injected into your body. And the one thing that was really clear is that the Continental System is for transsexuals. Boys who do drag are cute, but they are looking for all the augmentation. Outside of my friend, Scott Cooper, who is still a boy and has not had any work done, I believe that only transsexuals have been winners of Miss Continental. But where is the line between female impersonation and transsexualism? 

Now, don't get me wrong....I love these drag conventions. You get to see all the people you haven't seen in years. And the energy is great. Of course a few folks were trying to get me to join the other pyramid scheme, Miss Gay USA (which I'm told is strictly for female impersonators). And although I have been around these queens for years and around the pageant scene in the background as the DJ who mixed their talents or did the voice-overs for them, I have never really lusted after these titles. I have a few titles and a few crowns from randomly entering a pageant here and there, but I have never felt that these titles have defined me as Jade Elektra. In fact, the highlight of this past weekend in Chicago was getting to perform as Billie Holiday on the Park West Theatre stage. That was absolutely wonderful. I felt completely at home on that stage. And it confirms that I am heading in the right direction with my career as a recording artist and vocalist. Hopefully one day someone will come across the DVD of that performance and say "Wow...where is that queen now? That was a talent!" Because let's face it.....someone doing a live vocal performance in character is not in the same category as a glamazon standing there lip-syncing with back up dancers. Apples and Oranges. I knew that going in, but I wanted to let people know that I was there. And no disrespect to any of the gyrls, but my vision for myself is a lot bigger than this circle. 

To have people come up to me after my talent and ask me if I was really singing or where did that voice come from was my crown and title. No one had ever done a Billie Holiday impersonation at Continental. It was an real honour to have a former Mr. Continental, Antonio Edwards whom I have known for years, come up to me and say"I knew you could sing, but I never knew you could sing like that".  It really made my evening. And hopefully I have opened the door for future impersonators to take a chance on live talents.

I would like to see more classic drag come back. There's only so many music videos that can be recreated on the drag stage. There's so much more out there than the Top 40 that is being rammed down our throats. I sit back and watch all these young ones killing themselves to be exactly like the gyrl sitting next to them in the dressing room. They want to out-do the next one. Well, you can't do that by doing the same numbers you saw on YouTube over and over. You have to be creative and strive for something different. And stop dumbing down the performances. You are in a unique position to educate your audience as well as entertain.

You've got to listen to the ones who were here before you. Their wisdom is very valuable. I try to tell the gyrls I work with simple things that would help them on stage and in life, but most are not listening. I just hope that they don't fall into the trap and lose themselves in this world of drag. If you meet an older queen, sit and talk with her instead of dismissing her.

But back to story of The Baton...

The finals . . 

So, it is the night of the finals at The Baton. There are twelve contestants and we come out in orange presentation. It all seemed surreal to be standing on the most famous drag stage in America. In my heart of hearts, I was hoping that my talent had gotten me into the Top 8 at least. They start giving out awards for best interview, best swimwear, best evening gown and best talent. My name is not called for any of those. They start calling the Top 8 and as they skip over me an epiphany comes to me. "Thank God I am not in this". If I had won any of those things I would be obligated to come back again. But you have to pay your dues with this pageant system, to build your brand with Mr. Flint before you get his seal of approval. And at registration he gave a speech about he might end the Elite pageant if there are not 20 or more contestants next year. Of course Dana Douglas is the perfect candidate to go out and sell the Miss Continental Elite pageant to promoters and bars across the country. This is how the business works.

So, I was very grateful that I did not place and did not make the Top 8. I am free! All I have to do is step down as Miss Toronto Continental Elite in November and I am done.

The drag world still fascinates me. What motivates a man to put on a dress and act like a woman? There are a million stories and reasons why, but for me it is an extension of who I am as a man who has embraced his feminine side and still treasures his masculine side.

We make no bones about it. We love the show, we love Christopher – and we knew his story was a winner when we first saw it.  So we are happy to bring you another video interview with Christopher Wilson, Living with Henry’s affable writer, as the show enters an exciting new phase. The show has been invited to New York City! 

Christopher is excited about a benefit for the show, lined up April 23 at Toronto’s Bathurst Street Theatre, Block To Broadway.  And so am I.  It features a stellar line-up drawn from Toronto’s musical theatre scene, including one of our favourites, Ryan Kelly who shone in the Toronto production of Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart and whom I interviewed for PositiveLite.com last October. 

Details of the benefit are below.  We also have a brand new and exclusive video interview with Christopher filmed just last week.  It’s at the bottom of this post.  Don’t miss it.

If you want to check back on the history of this show, we first interviewed Christopher back in June 2011, prior to the show’s Fringe debut. You can read my subsequent review of the show here. Christopher talked to us later here and then we interviewed him again in December 2011, prior to the show’s transfer to Toronto’s Next Stage Festival production at Factory Theatre. 

So yes, we are fans. We’ve always thought, even before we first saw the show, that it had the potential to go far - and that is exactly what it is now doing  So, if you are in Toronto, please consider getting out and supporting the April 23 Benefit. Here is their press release, with more details.

BLOCK to BROADWAY! BENEFIT

On Monday, April 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm, Beyond Boundaries presents the musical theatre celebration, A Block to Broadway! Benefit at the Bathurst Street Theatre, 736 Bathurst Street, Toronto.

Toronto’s hottest professional musical theatre talents join together to kick it up and raise funds to help send Living With Henry to the New York Musical Theatre Festival this summer! Doors open at 7:00pm with a silent auction and cash bar.

A Block to Broadway! Benefit features Alana Bridgewater, Christian Bellsmith, Gabi Epstein,Marisa Falcone, Sherry Garner, Konstantinos Haitas, Kelly Hollif, Michael Hughes, Ryan Kelly,Lisa Kisch, Lizzie Kurtz, Lori Nuic, Nadine Roden, Ari Wienberg, Christopher Wilson, and is accompanied by David Myers.

Living With Henry – an inspiring new musical drama written by Christopher Wilson, premiered to critical acclaim in July 2011 at the Toronto Fringe Festival. Consequently, the production was selected to continue at the Best of Fringe Uptown and the 2012 Next Stage Theatre Festival. This theatrical work explores the complexities of living with HIV/AIDS today. Framing HIV as a chronic llness rather than as a death sentence, this poignant musical lays bare today’s realties, promotes education and strives to examine the fear and challenge the misunderstandings still associated with HIV.

Remarkably, Living With Henry was recently invited to participate in the prestigious New York Musical Theatre Festival (www.nymf.org) in July 2012, as one of ten productions chosen from several hundred for this privilege. This is a tantalizing opportunity to showcase a new Canadian musical work at an internationally regarded Festival in the United States.

BenefitTickets: $35 adults, $25 students/arts workers. General admission. To purchase tickets, please call the Arts Box Office @ (416) 504-7529 or visit online @ www.artsboxoffice.ca

Read more about Living with Henry on their website here 

Video services provided by Guy McLoughlin.