This post first appeared on the bloig of AIDS New Brunswick, here.

People sometimes ask me why we still feel it necessary to recognize International Day Against Homophobia. I’m never quite sure how to answer that question in a short concise way, so instead I tell them a story. In October of 2006, I was sitting in my (then) favourite study hall frantically looking for a topic for a soon to be overdue sociology paper. I was in my first year of university, I had been openly gay for about two months, and I was adamant that I was going to write a paper about something gay. I was reading something from some online source when I noticed an article about Matthew Shepard, and in particular about the eighth anniversary of his death. I sort of knew about Matthew but since I was only 10 when he died, my memory was sketchy at best. I began to read the article, and before I had finished I was in tears. I was in the middle of an unbearably quite study hall, surrounded by my peers, balling my eyes out.

If you’re not familiar with the Matthew Shepard case, this will serve as an introduction, and I encourage you to read more about the subject. Matthew was a gay male born in Casper, Wyoming in 1976. At the time of his death he was a Political Science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. The details are as such. On October 6th, 1998 Matthew was at a local bar in Laramie when two men approached him, told him that they were gay, and offered him a ride home. He never made it home.

Instead the two men drove Matthew to the middle of a field, beat shit out of him, tied him to a fence, and left him to die. Left there in a coma, he was eventually found 18 hours later by a cyclist who initially thought he was a scarecrow because he was beaten so badly. Matthew never regained consciousness, and died on October 12th, 1998. Incidentally, this story was the inspiration for Melissa Etheridge’s song titled Scarecrow.

It’s usually at this point that my audience interrupts me and points out that this happened more than a decade ago, AND it was in the States. They say we don’t have this type of homophobia today, and that “things have changed”. I agree in part, after all in 2002 Oshawa Ontario’s Marc Hall took the Durham Catholic School Board to court because he was not allowed to attend the prom with his boyfriend, and won, and in 2005 same-sex marriage was legalized through the Civil Marriage act in Canada.

However, more recently and more close to home, in the early hours of April 17th, 2012, Raymond Taavel was beaten to death while leaving a local gay bar in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Not Wyoming, not North Carolina, where they just voted to ban same-sex marriage, Halifax. Only four hours from Fredericton.

We are living in a world where people are killing themselves and being killed for being gay. We are still fighting for the right to get married, and have children. I grew up in a small town in Nova Scotia, only two hours from Halifax. I have friends and family who live there. In fact, Halifax was on my list of places to live after I finished High School. This didn’t happen a decade ago, and it wasn’t in the States. It was last month, and it was in the Maritimes, it was at home.

Raymond’s death saddens me and it angers me, but more than that, it scares me. I could have been the next Matthew Shepard, any of us could have been. We’re not done with homophobia yet. Raymond was just leaving a bar, walking down the street, and he was beat to death. Is it still necessary to bring attention to homophobia? I think so.

International Day Agains Homophobia website.

This article by Alex Garner, Frontiers’ Editor-at-Large first appeared on the website of FrontiersLA.com here.

I’m sure you’ve seen the sensational headlines, “HIV-Positive Prostitutes Arrested” or, “Greek Panic over HIV-Positive Prostitutes.” 17 female prostitutes in Greece were arrested for having HIV. It’s being covered as a scintillating story full of drama and intrigue. It has all the makings of an 80s miniseries. All that is missing is Phoebe Cates asking, “Which one of you bitches is my mother?” The appropriate title could be, “Sex, Scandal and Stigma.”

The key word is stigma and unfortunately, this is not a TV movie, it’s real life. The rights of these women have been completed disregarded in order to further the narrative of the dangerous and diseased prostitute. Their names and photos were released to the media, in the style of America’s Most Wanted, and Health Minister Loverdos is using language like, “exploded bomb, “ which helps paint them as sinister immigrant prostitute terrorists.

There has been no indication that HIV transmission has occurred and even the Health Minister admits that assigning blame is a bit tricky. He said, “It's not all the fault of the illegally procured woman, it's 50 percent her fault and 50 percent that of the client, perhaps more because he is paying the money."

So as this scandal unfolds it will pull focus from the challenging conditions for those living with HIV and it will keep a frustrated population from focusing on an economic catastrophe.

This incident should provide us with an opportunity to think about what it means to be an HIV-positive prostitute. Here in Los Angeles, there are scores of gay men working as escorts. Many also work in the porn industry. They aren’t “dirty bombs of disease,” they are just gay guys making a buck off their ripped abs, bulging biceps and other ample bulges.

What exactly are the dynamics at play if one is an HIV-positive escort?

A few years ago, a contributing writer to The Infection Monologues in Seattle, wanted to include a story about how his character got infected from an escort. It was the classic example of relinquishing all responsibility and blaming it on the diseased professional. The question I posed to him is still relevant today- “what incentive does an escort have to be honest if he knows he will lose money?”

I don’t mean to say the escorts are all money hungry monsters. They are businessmen who are making a living. If they know that being honest about their HIV status means they will no longer be able to make a living then it’s reasonable to expect that they may not divulge that information.

I don’t believe that HIV-positive escorts are callous and intend to infect their clients so they can make a quick buck. I think it’s important to explore the complex dynamics of sex, money and power that are at play. 

When a man decides to hire an escort he usually has a sense of what he is into and what his boundaries are. He is paying for a service and he establishes the power dynamic. An escort often has their own boundaries but those boundaries might be flexible depending on how much money is being offered and how low their bank account might be.

The scenario could go something like this: A client calls an escort and asks him details about his services. The client says he intends to be very safe and use a condom. He then asks the escort if he is negative or positive. The escort says positive. The client thanks him for his honesty but decides to move onto another escort.

If this happens to the positive escort again, will he be just as honest? If the escort is undetectable and a condom is going to be used, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that the escort would lie so that he could make some money.

And what about the client who declined the services of the positive escort? Does he expect every other escort to be as honest? Was he asking because he might really be interested in sex without a condom?

The bottom line here is that sex work is very complicated. Whether they are immigrant prostitutes or Weho escorts, they are real, three-dimensional human beings. They are already working in an industry that is highly stigmatized and add to that a disease that is all about stigma and it makes for a difficult situation.  Not to mention, there are profound differences between the escort from Rentboy and the one on the street corner in front of Shakeys.

Depicting these people as akin to bomb toting terrorists only increases the fear and fuels the stigma. The solution is a sophisticated and nuanced discussion about sex work that acknowledges the rights and the humanity of the workers while understanding the complicated dynamics involved.

Alex Garner says: I invite you to follow me on Twitter and join me on Facebook.

 

Listen, I get it! We are all doing our own thing. . . outreach, prevention, testing and much more. Kudos to all of you who are getting their hands in the mix of the work that is necessary to care for those living with HIV/AIDS and necessary to educate those not living with HIV/AIDS to prevent contracting this virus and other STI's / STD's as well as to combat stigma and to get tested!

On a serious note. . . I hear the following being repeated a lot (in fact I hear myself saying this too) . . . "UGH! Why, why, why is HIV/AIDS conversation swept under the rug? Why is no one talking about it anymore? Why has our nation. . . why has the world gone quiet on this epidemic?" And then we point the finger of blame. . .

So, rather than being one of the cooks in the kitchen complaining about the problem by pointing a finger, I have decided to team up with five other incredible HIV/AIDS activists/advocates to begin a global trend setting Twitter initiative and our vision is to reignite the conversation of HIV/AIDS: HashTag HIV: Let's Trend Until the End. Reality is, I need to point the finger back on myself, because I have not been much of a team player, because for too long I was doing my own thing. It is time for me to make a change and become a team player and that change starts right now and I hope you will follow.

Many of you probably know who we are: There is me - Daniel Bauer (escape artist and founder of LivingPozitively.com), Robert Breining (Founder and Host of Poz I Am Radio / Social Network), Jeromy Dunn (Founder of PozitivelySpeaking.com and Co-host, Poz I Am Radio), Mitch Knapp (HIV Activist in the rural south), Aaron Matthew Laxton (YouTube super-star and founder of My HIV Journey), and Kevin Maloney (Founder of Rise Up to HIV and an employee at Community Access National Network

So what's #HIV: Let's Trend Until the End all about: We believe as a team that millions and millions of people are using Twitter to quickly disseminate information about the hottest topics people are talking about! We believe that together, as a community, we can set #HIV, #AIDS as a Twitter trend catapulting awareness back to the top of conversation around the world!

So here's where you come in. . . it's time to become a team player. During the week of the International AIDS Conference (July 22-27, 2012 in Washington, DC) we are asking everyone with a Twitter account to consistently and frequently use the hashtags: #HIV #AIDS and #IAC in all your Tweets. If you do not have a Twitter account, maybe it's time to get one, even if it's just for the purpose of helping to set the trend. You can simply go to www.twitter.com and sign up!

The HashTagHIV Team will be Tweeting from now on (and forever) to help set this trend. . . so please follow @HashTagHIV to get the latest information, updates and stats about how we are doing! Also, please, please add yourself to the HashTag HIV Facebook event to let the world know you and/or your organization is signing up as a team player!

Reality is we [six guys] can't do this alone. YOU. . . YOUR ORGANIZATION. .. YOUR FRIENDS are going to be the key elements of making this CAMPAIGN A SUCCESS!

So TEAMWORK - ACTIVATE! Let's Set the Trend!!!!  Together we will reignite the conversation about #HIV #AIDS!

I am Daniel, and I am living pozitively! Thank you for following my blog.

HIV-positive New York magician and public speaker Daniel Bauer was interviewed by PositiveLIte.com’ Bob Leahy in September 2011 here.   Read about his upcoming New York show Beyond Belief here 

This article by  Paul Aguirre-Livingston  first appeared in The GridTO.  Republished with permission.  

This year marks the 31st anniversary of the HIV/AIDS pandemic. The issue, we know, is multi-dimensional and complicated. Even within my lifetime, the way we talk about it has changed from fear and self-loathing (riddled with homophobia) to far-reaching global advocacy tinged with optimistic complacency. On Saturday night, the Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research (CANFAR) dispatched its Young Professional Council to Airship 37 to host the second annual Our Future Without AIDS fundraiser. The volunteer-based organization was created in 2010 to bridge the gap between seasoned donors and the impressionable, to remind us why we need to keep talking about this, even if it means appealing to the pleasure principle of partying.

“Do you wanna go to the art room and be, like, classy?” asked one guy as he whizzed past us in the drink ticket line. With the event held in a stark white hangar, the young and the philanthropic gathered for modest amusement. Red lanterns were strung from above, with light to match; a good-times vibe all around. It was a fundraising initiative, and a damn good one at that, helmed by a multimedia-art silent auction. (With works starting at $10 and maxing out around $400, the auction would have been especially ideal for first-time buyers. And yet it was a shame to see so few red dots.) All the revelry was accented with photo-booth funz, a cupcake and cookie station, Parts & Labour catering, and a Sade tune or two. (Oh, is that Rick Mercer?) And drinks—another white wine, please—to cushion the reality of what we’re all fighting for: hope.

I regret to wonder how many people in that room whom I know to be straight (or those whom I will unflinchingly assume to identify as so, due to overheard complaints from all the single straight girls about the lack of “hot guys”) have actually had real intersections with experiences surrounding HIV/AIDS. How many of them have had the virus knowingly coursing through the veins of a partner next to them? Or held their friend’s hand after a former partner had finally disclosed to them, after numerous encounters, that he was, in fact, HIV positive? Or worried themselves sick in an anonymous clinic waiting room because what if I contracted the virus and how could I have been so careless? How many of them have actually been tested? Maybe that’s not important. But, also, it is. And regardless of motive and experience, showing up and showing support is indisputably invaluable.

That night alone, it was estimated 1,125 people would die from AIDS. I feel guilty because I keep thinking this is a fashion event and just… thank someone for the signs, for writing the statistics on the walls and flashing them on flat screen televisions: There are 34 million people living with HIV worldwide, and 65,000 of them are in Canada. Still, you can buy a $20 cake pop—or seven—and win a big grand prize. It’s about fundraising, so that’s okay, even if the empty donation cans serve as mere table decorations. And it’s also okay if all you want to do is cry. Cry for the man who cried with you because he couldn’t live with himself if he put you at risk. Cry for those who are having sex right this second because four people under the age of 25 become HIV-positive every minute. Cry because more twentysomethings show up to a condo opening than to this thing.

But what’s the right way to talk about HIV and how do we keep talking about it effectively? What are the issues that surround the realities in a time when, yes, 65,000 Canadians are living with HIV… but how many of those are new infections and how many of those are individuals living longer? It took years to remove the various stigmas from my own thoughts. During my formative online jaunts, I would instantly block/ignore someone who, upon my inquiry, didn’t hesitate to honestly disclose. Somewhere along the way, I changed the way I looked at the situation: What if it was the reverse? Would I want to be loved or feared? Hated or pitied? My fear turned into questions; my questions reinforced the need to be informed and protected. To get tested regularly. To not use infection as yet another reason to divide us.

But when half of our grade nine students incorrectly believe there is a cure for AIDS, are government sexual-education programs failing the very generation CANFAR hopes to reach? Are we sending the right messages when condomless (“bareback”) porn is on the rise? Or are we being hypocrites? And yet one must ultimately account for an element of personal choice and consequence (if it’s laced with honesty), and pass up ascending to a moral high ground. Fact is, there are still glaring holes in the messages sent to men who have sex with men, especially those who might not even identify as gay (those married or on the DL, for example).

Make no mistake: There is no gay/straight divide when it comes to HIV/AIDS. We are all affected. But while the virus may not discriminate, we are not equal. Gay men are still at the highest risk, and that needs to be addressed. Perhaps the way I feel most strongly connected to a proverbial gay ancestry is through the crisis. The epidemic. The fear. The truth. The fact that I’ve been ignorant and unfair and unsure. I’m not shy about admitting that I’m human, that I’m animal. That I’ve been young, and naïve, and made mistakes. That I’ve been repentant. And scared. That I’ve judged and been judged. That I’ve prayed. That I have had unprotected sex a grand total of two times in 12 years and was publicly shamed for admitting so and accused of sending the wrong messages. But no, I’m not stupid. And that’s why we need to remove any sort of lingering feelings of humiliation, and why organizations like CANFAR continue to encourage such discourse.

 Are you still listening?

“You can’t imagine,” says Mark Mahoney, the chair of CANFAR’s Young Professional Council, when he explains that the night will blow their initial goal to raise $40,000 “out of the water.” He’s right. You probably can’t imagine. Medical advancements have shielded me—and the majority of the younger, privileged gay community—from the reality of actually saying goodbye to our friends in rapid succession. But it hasn’t made us immune. And for that, we need to be cognizant. And when you imagine it—because, especially if you’re gay and young and horny and sexually active, you will—let me tell you: The psychological effects will linger. Those thoughts will unwillingly live within the partners you surround yourself with, and reside in the corners of a community that’s more incestuous than we’d all like to admit. Because I remember the message from day one. Because the questions lasts longer than a 30-minute episode of Girls and run deeper than any and every fucking Google search for “the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms.” (Kudos, though, on condoms.) And just because there is little risk, doesn’t mean there is no risk. And you can do everything in your goddamn power to be as safe as you possibly can, but even then…?

By half past midnight, the mood lightens. People have shown up, bought art. Donated. Gotten drunk. Grabbed free condoms (but why no lube?). Some may rest assured that they’ve done their part for another year, or at least until World AIDS Day in December. Drake and Rihanna’s “Take Care” fills the ever-expanding white space in between: “I’ve loved, and I’ve lost,” is the last thing I hear before wandering back out into the darkness.

Donations to support HIV and AIDS research can be made on CANFAR’s official website.

Contact Paul on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/pliving) and/or his personal website (http://pliving.me).

 

Ever since I came out of the closet for the second time with my diagnosis I made a promise to myself that I would be vocal, to anyone who’d listen, about my life as a gay man and living with HIV.

Essentially, I had practice coming clean about situations in my younger years when I talked with friends and schoolmates about my adoption from a foster home in Colombia.  I thought nothing of it, but what always amazed me was how fascinated people were with my story.  As I grew older I realized it wasn’t so much my adoption that they were interested in hearing, rather the passion I exuded in my words.

It’s always great to get my listeners to laugh when I told them I was adopted and I happened to be on sale that week and went by the name, “Baby Number 5.”  Of course I was joking!  From there on I knew that I loved to make people laugh…even over a touchy subject like HIV.  I never stop talking about my beginning HIV story and where I am now, but recently I returned my energies back towards gay rights in our country - something I hadn’t cared much about since I began with HIV.  Now I advocate for both the rights of positive people and gay people. 

I’ve endlessly told my HIV story and spoke about my background on many websites, including my own blog site and in particularly, Robert Breining’s POZ I AM site where individuals recently diagnosed can find a safe haven.  Now that it’s been over two years since my diagnosis I’ve acquired the skill to summarize my limited experience (time-wise) with HIV in a couple of paragraphs. That way it leaves the dialogue open for people to reach out to me for further details.  

I was diagnosed January 21, 2010.  I went into a severe depression that only took a downward direction when I was told that it was in my best interests to start medications right away given my low T-cell count at the time.  I began my regimen March 27, 2010 and was declared undetectable with a growing T-cell count by June.  I was lucky and once I knew that there was nothing to worry about I disclosed my status to my parents one hot July evening at home.  Following that,  I went viral with a YouTube video that disclosed my status to friends, relatives, co-workers and strangers.  The video continues to get recognition and praise for the most part and can be found at the end of this post. 

My video skills have since improved, but I’ll never forget how nervous I was when I filmed it.  It took almost a whole day to get my words right.  One can probably pick up on the fact that I stuttered with my words, trying to get all my feelings out in ten minutes (I thought it would be my only video.)  Needless to say when it was published my Facebook page, my cell phone and email FLOODED with responses from all my connections of life.  They cried and admired, making sure I was okay and that I wasn’t dying.  Talking to everyone as if I was a doctor explaining how my HIV isn’t killing me, I quickly realized that I made a breakthrough with my words and began a stepping stone for people’s idea of HIV.  Sky was the limit for me from that point on.  This coming August that video will be two years old. 

So there you have it, my HIV history in a speedy nutshell.  I’m not one for living in the past as I have a mind to just look at the road ahead- bumps and smooth terrain alike- with a little more knowledge and experience under my belt. 

I’m at a place in my life where I meet people in bars or social events and I talk about my HIV like it’s an everyday thing - because it is, in retrospect.  I know disclosing isn’t as easy for everyone, but I’d like to think my one voice will encourage others to come out, negative and positive, and talk about HIV.  Besides, I’m tired of being a third class citizen - second because I’m homosexual and third for being an HIV positive homosexual. And don’t get me started on HIV-positive women in this country as my heart will always have a place for them. 

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve transitioned my HIV story from being recently diagnosed to living with HIV.  I’m stealing the “So What, Now What?” slogan.  I live in America where the news and media is lately saturated about our President’s support for gay marriage.  Sure, I’m happy to hear about his support, but I’m one of those people that want to see action.  After all it is an election year in our country and isn’t timing just everything?  What happens if one day my body’s virus takes a turn for the worse and my partner at the time is unable to see me in the hospital? 

With my “so what, now what” attitude and my HIV in a healthy check I reassembled my fight for gay rights that I put on the backburner since January 21, 2010.  I’m still hopeful that more and more of our states and provinces will approve equal rights for all.  This will be quite a year in our country with the election, the mass hysteria over gay rights and the International AIDS Conference being held this summer in Washington, D.C.  The President won’t be able to hide then when he’s asked why America has a waiting list for medications and treatment for even one  individual too many and what he plans to do about it.  

I can’t wait when a few decades down the road I’m writing the memoir of my life and I make jokes at the fact that I remember a world that opposed gay marriage and people feared HIV.  Those were the days.  However, that future I set will only be a reality if more people like me come out from the shadows and scream about their HIV.

From The Associated Press via CTV News 

WASHINGTON —  U.S. drug regulators on Tuesday affirmed landmark study results showing that a popular HIV-fighting pill can also help healthy people avoid contracting the virus that causes AIDS in the first place. While the pill appears safe and effective for prevention, scientists stressed that it only works when taken on a daily basis.

The Food and Drug Administration will hold a meeting Thursday to discuss whether Truvada should be approved for people who are at risks of contracting HIV through sexual intercourse. The agency's positive review posted Tuesday suggests the daily pill will become the first drug approved to prevent HIV infection in high-risk patients.

FDA reviewers conclude that taking Truvada pre-emptively could spare patients "infection with a serious and life-threatening illness that requires lifelong treatment."

Despite the positive results, reviewers said that patients must be diligent about taking the pill every day. Adherence to the medication was less than perfect in clinical trials, and reviewers said that patients in the real world may forget to take their medication even more than those in clinical studies.

First announced in 2010, Truvada's preventive ability was hailed as a breakthrough in the 30-year campaign against the AIDS epidemic. A three-year study found that daily doses cut the risk of infection in healthy gay and bisexual men by 44 per cent, when accompanied by condoms and counselling. Another study found that Truvada reduced infection by 75 per cent in heterosexual couples in which one partner was HIV infected and the other was not.The FDA's panel of advisers will take separate votes on whether Truvada should be approved for:

• gay and bisexual men
• men or women in relationships with HIV-positive partners
• other people at risk of acquiring HIV through sexual activity

The FDA is not required to follow the advice of its panels, though it usually does.

An estimated 1.2 million Americans have HIV, which overwhelmingly affects men who have sex with other men, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. HIV attacks the immune system and, unless treated with antiviral drugs, develops into AIDS, a fatal condition in which the body cannot fight off foreign infections.

Because Truvada is already on the market to manage HIV, some doctors currently prescribe it as a preventive measure. FDA approval would allow the U.S. drugmaker Gilead Sciences to formally market its drug for the new use.

But support for FDA approval is not unanimous. Some researchers stress that condoms remain the best weapon against AIDS, and a prevention pill is not the chemical equivalent.

"We know that if the person doesn't take the medication every day they will not be protected," said Dr. Rodney Wright, director of HIV programs at Montefiore Medical Center in New York. "So the concern is that there may not be adequate adherence to provide protection in the general population."

Wright, who is also chairman of the AIDS Health Foundation, added that some upcoming medications may be more effective at preventing infection than Truvada.

Researchers also worry about Truvada's mixed success rate in preventing infection among women. Last year a study in women was stopped early after researchers found that women taking the drug were more likely to become infected than those taking placebo. Researchers speculated that women may need a higher dose of the drug to prevent infection. They also said the disappointing results may have resulted from women not taking the pills consistently.

Still, many HIV patient advocacy groups say the drug should be a prescribing option to prevent HIV, alongside condoms, counselling and other measures.

"If we're going to reduce the more than 50,000 new HIV infections in this country each year, we need to increase the available options for people," said Ronald Johnson, vice-president of AIDS United. He added that more studies are needed to determine the drug's effectiveness in women and other patient subgroups.

"The current state of the data warrants going forward, but we believe additional clinical trials should also go forward to broaden the use of Truvada."

Last month, AIDS United and more than a dozen other advocacy groups sent a letter to the FDA, urging approval of Truvada.

California-based Gilead Sciences Inc. has marketed Truvada since 2004. The drug is a combination of two older HIV drugs, Emtriva and Viread. Doctors usually prescribe the medications as part of a drug cocktail that makes it harder for the virus to reproduce. Patients with low viral levels are far less likely to develop AIDS. Side effects with Truvada include diarrhea, dizziness, nausea and vomiting. More serious problems can include liver toxicity, kidney problems and bone thinning.