You can’t help but like Francisco Ibáñez-Carrasco.  He is a handsome silvered-haired dynamo, a Latino through and through, who is enthusiastic about everything he touches, even about being alive.  Clearly Francisco loves life and that comes through in the interview which follows.

Not that his life has been an easy one.  Born in Chile forty-eight years ago, he was,  according to his 2011 profile in CATIE’s The Positive Side “raised by a poor, single mother who earned her living cleaning rich people’s houses. As a child he was molested by Catholic priests, and as a teenager he traded sex for cash. “I get along with people with an edge, with difficult lives,” he says, “because I see myself reflected in them.”"

Francisco came to Canada in 1985; within months he was diagnosed with HIV.  Says CATIE “Most of the friends he arrived with in Vancouver moved on to New York City, which was “kind of a gay Mecca in our imaginations,” he says. “We were all young gay men who didn’t know anything about AIDS. We all got infected and they all died. Some of them died of HIV-related complications; some of them died undocumented. So, yeah, there’s a trail of dead people behind me, whom I honour, of course, all the time.”"

Francisco himself was diagnosed with Kaposi’s  Sarcoma back then, its  spots covering most of his body. He saw first one and then a second partner die of AIDS-related complications. But like many others he was saved from the jaws of death by the protease inhibitors which surfaced in 1996.

Meanwhile he had been pursuing higher education at B.C.’s Simon Fraser University where he eventually earned his Ph. D in 1999 – one of the first Canadians with HIV to earn a doctoral degree. His focus since has been on research on HIV and rehabilitation and, latterly, in the training of new researchers in the field of HIV. Resident at the OHTN (Ontario HIV Treatment Network) in Toronto, he has been Program Manager of Universities Without Walls.  Just recently he has been appointed the OHTN’s Director of Education and Training.

As you’ll see, Francisco is a lively and engaging interview subject.  For this interview I asked him the questions off camera with those questions edited out, allowing Francisco’s responses to shine through.

Videography by Guy McLoughlin

Photo by Bob Leahy

“Even if the rate of HIV infection among MSM remains at the current level, by the time a group of young MSM (18 years old) reach the age of 40, 41% of them will be HIV-positive. We cannot make any progress in fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the U.S. unless we find ways to lower rates of HIV transmission among MSM.”

Positively Aware 

Ed pulls out a condom from his pocket and says to the crowd, “We’ve always had the answer all along. We couldn’t figure out how to use them.” As an international HIV/AIDS educator and one of five subjects of the award winning AIDS documentary, We Were Here. Ed Wolf reminds us that waving our finger at each other to use condoms never worked and never will. 

This is the second interview to inquire how the film impacted younger gay men.

Roy is 25, bright, reads Nietzsche and graphic novels and spends most of his time in the cyber-sphere from where he predicts a future he can get behind. He’s an artist saddled with a student loan he says he’ll never pay back from an arts program he never finished. After washing dishes in Toronto he’s moved to our place on a small west coast gulf island for several weeks to work in our quarter acre garden. On the surface the exchange was a few hours of daily labour for room and board. The inter-generational mentorship will last a lifetime.  For now he’s planning to live in a tent tucked away in the woods for the summer, read and make art. A reasonable choice considering how disconnected much of his cohort has become from the natural world. 

My husband and I are the first out poz men he’s got to know. He was only peripherally aware of the history of AIDS. From the beginning of our time together we have ruminated over the relationship between gay past and queer future. Today we talk about the documentary, chaos and condoms. 

Birch: Having seen the documentary on the SF history of AIDS what questions emerged for you? 

Roy: It was more of an exposition of what happened. No questions. It showed people reacting with their best from a crisis. I got to hear their stories of their triumph and suffering. I’m trying to relate it to now.  The audience was made up of people who care about the subject already - because they are emotionally attached, mostly people who had history with it. I came because I was told to come. I love stories and I love stories that paint people as human beings. It was about authentic stories. Later, I went to my friend’s house to tell him about how great the film was. We realized we have no contact with people who lived through it or are willing to talk about it. It is important for young men to see this film early on before being introduced to the disease-focused sex education in high school. It’s important to hear stories of the people who have HIV before you scare them about it.  

My friend said, “Maybe they shouldn’t all have had sex with each other.” I reminded him that it was a completely different time. The condom is taught in school because of what happened, and yet it creates such a naïve outlook (without the context of what happened). It has created an us vs. them rationality (especially in gay culture) because we are not exposed to people who are positive and their stories. It is no surprise then that there is so much prejudice within the gay community toward positive men, especially in younger generations. 

Birch: Do you think younger gay men blame positive men for having to wear a condom today themselves? 

Roy: No, lots of them just do it because we were taught to do so. It depends on your upbringing. Some of them go bareback, they see it in porn, or someone fucked them bareback. It depends on what version of sex ed. you got. Some of us were imprinted; as a teenager I heard ‘always put it on’…and now that I’m here (at 25) it is more to do with the guys I’ve been with…. 

Birch: How would you describe the sexual culture you have inherited as a younger gay man? 

Roy: Sex is more clinical. It’s not just about the condom anymore. Sex is very fearful now - in every regard. It is not about connection in the way it should be. Not on a level that makes people feel good. A temporary thrust, bam and quick see if the condom broke or not. Gasp. Fear. It is clinical. I look to porn to see where guys are having great sex. Mr. Steeds Bareback blog. He just talks about all his bareback connections. Maybe it’s all fiction. He’s a good writer. It’s entertaining. Maybe it’s not all fiction. It is fascinating. He makes it sound a lot more fun – a lot more connective. 

Birch: How do you relate to condoms?

Roy: The condom represents boring sex. Every sexual encounter that started off potentially great, the ones that felt more connected, always wanted to go bareback. Then I told them to put on a condom. I always have the fantasy to go there (raw sex), even drunk as a mess…so, sex ed. did a good job. But when I told them to wear a condom the sex always became more lacklustre, putting order on chaos. 

Birch: What is it about ‘chaos’ you desire? 

Roy: It’s more free. More connection. It’s not antiseptic. It’s sweating. It’s nasty. It is so scary to try. The ‘order’ is so…I have a condom on my subconscious, on my being. When the fear is so ingrained the bodies are manipulated into ‘over-thinking’ and then (by default) we end up masturbating on each other. I’ve only had mutual masturbation. I’ve never had bareback sex which I equate with real sex. Condom sex, at least the mentality that comes with it, is like two people masturbating – we’re so caught up in our heads. I’m talking about my fantasy world. I’m not going to say you can’t have great sex with a condom. 

The people who risk themselves will fuck you. There are not there to masturbate. It’s not just about condoms and bareback. Its what the whole thing represents. It’s all about order and chaos. Dionysus has always had a big hand up. You know what I’m saying, darling. The maenads fuck better than the congressmen - unless of course the congressmen are a little crazy. Never mind - congressmen are probably all fucking bareback. 

Birch: So how would you describe the culture of raw sex?

Roy: The whole thing represents more masculinity to go bareback. It just comes with that. The straight community never wears condoms. So you have to wrap yourself to go have sex? It feels cheated. Like we’re not having sex. Straight guys can fuck at the party. Being a gay man we are seen as disease carrying vessels. With a straight guy, it’s just a guy fucking. You have no condom-tations with it. Wrapping ourselves up as clinical specimens - it’s not sexy. AND we hear stories of the 70s where gay men were having sex: breakfast, lunch and supper, sex, sex, sex. How orgiastic. Then the pendulum swung back to order. Now we want to swing back, it’s just that natural swing of things and we want an orgy. We never had that. 

Dante has been LIVING with HIV since July of 2007. He is one of the people featured in my film “Breaking the Silence”. From the first time I met him, I was impressed at just how well he's been dealing with his diagnoses and his desire to continue to live his life and not become someone that allows HIV to completely take over his life. Recently I asked him to do this interview with me for PositiveLite.com, mainly because I knew he'd be completely honest and because he's such an awesome young man.

Kengi: Before we start, let me first say thank you for doing this interview with me. I really appreciate it.

Dante: Thank you for having me. It's a great thing you're doing and I'm glad to be sharing my story through a magazine. Yay I'm excited okay let's get started.

You once described to me your life before being diagnosed as being in the fast lane. What exactly does this mean?

The fast lane to me was just partying, drinking, having wild and spontanteous sex. I would work in the day and party at night. If I was too tired from partying or the sex was that good I would call work the next day and say I can't come in because my back hurts. Me and a few other friends would get online, meet guys, set up our own sex parties and just have a ball. That's what the fast lane was for me,  hot guys, sex, partying and alcohol to let good times keep on coming.

So is it safe to say that you were just living in the moment?

Yes I was living in the moment. There were no boundaries that I wouldn't cross. Like you heard this saying, "I was young, dumb, and full of cum".

There are those who say that younger people just aren't paying attention to the message about HIV and AIDS. Did you hear any messages about HIV or AIDS in your neighborhood prior to becoming HIV positive?

I didn't see any billboards like I do now where they're in your face and you have to look at it and talk about it. On television, yes I may have saw a message but my mind wasn't thinking about HIV.

 Ultimately, why did you decide to get tested?

I decided to get tested cause I was in a relationship at the time and things started to progress where condoms weren't being used. So to be on the safe side I wanted to know my status and have a clear head space. I didn't have any symptoms prior to getting tested I just wanted to know my status.

Were you worried you may have caused your boyfriend to be HIV positive?

Yes I was worried. I was scared I never been through something like this, so I didn't know how things were going to play out. 

So you're sitting waiting for your test results. What was going through your mind while you waited?

I didn't know what to feel. Part of me felt like this can go either way. In the past I was playing Russian Roulette. So now I see the game caught up to me. 

About a year prior to testing positive, you told your parents you were gay. Was there ever a concern that your parents would throw you out or no longer love you?

No, not loving me or throwing me out was never an option cause my parents love me from the day I was born to the day I came out. I'm their child and only son, so disowning me? No, not my parents. They love me to much to do that.  I'm grateful to have my parents who love and adore me cause not everyone gets the opportunity to feel that. 

Did you feel like you had let them down by not being careful?

Yes, I felt I let them down, but myself as well. How could I be so blind by lust to not take the precautions and protect myself every time I had an encounter. But like I said when you play Russian Roulette you're gambling everything for that good time. 

Contrary to what we hear and read about when it comes to Blacks and Latino families as it pertains to HIV and AIDS, Your family has been very supportive. Even going with you to medical appointments.

Yes, once my mother found my doctor's slip, she put two and two together and grilled me. I fest up, told her the truth and then talked to my dad to assure them that I was going to live. I told them not to come, actually and they said no, we're coming with you to the doctor. "We love you too much to lose you to this." So from that moment on I knew my parents were right by my side. 

How is life different now that you're HIV positive?

Life is good, real good. My health is 110 percent. I do what I'm suppose to and I look at life in a whole new light. There is life after this and I tell people that all the time because when you going through it it's hard to understand.

Do you ever have feelings of not being able to fall in love because of the HIV?

I did at first, but now I'm in a good place and I stay knowledge up on medical updates and when I disclose my status I can say it proud 'cause I have come so far in this and when I hear the guys' reaction to it, it brings joy to my heart that they still see a person who needs love too. 

Do you feel you can only date people with HIV?

I feel I can date anyone who is open to it (HIV) and willing to get educated on it (HIV). if they don't know much about it, whether you're positive or negative ask me questions cause when you know more, you connect more and yes, Kengi, quote me on that. (laughter)

Recently I had the honor of hearing you read something you wrote at a public reading called "Love the way you lie" What was the inspiration behind that?

I was in a dark place at the time and I needed to express myself in the way I know best  - which is writing. Once I put that pen to paper I surrendered to what I was feeling. And I'm proud that you and all in the audience loved it, but it was this one person who pulled me to the side and said “you touched me. I'm going through that right now and thank you for letting me know I'm not alone and that hope is still alive.” 

You've been involved with two of my projects, the film "Breaking the Silence" and my HIV support group, JustUs. What have these experiences been like?

Being part of the film project has just opened my eyes up to the fact that my story matters and it has value to someone out there who needs to hear it. For the group JustUs, it's refreshing cause we all come from different walks of life and we share our stories without any judgment and to feel safe to open up is pretty special to me. 

You're also a writer with aspirations of writing a book or two. How is that coming along?

Its coming along great. I'm in the process of finding an editor that can edit my work and build a close bond 'cause this person is going to be my right-hand man. So the first book is about relationships and the second book is between a collection of short stories or my tips on the do's and don't of styling and designing yourself inside and out. 

My friend Carlos asked if he could paint you. What did that feel like?

It was such a surprise that he wanted to paint me and use it for a show I was like wow, really, me? It's such an honor to have someone paint you and display it where people can see, I'm still in shock. Plus he only does woman and this time he decided to paint a man and the man happens to me. June is around the corner and I can't wait to see me live and in color. 

So what's next for you?

Working on my baby.... the book, and I want to travel more this year and going into next year. I have a passport and I need some more stamps. So next time you hear from me maybe from a postcard. So watch  out cause good things do happen when you push it to the limit. 

Dante, again, thank you very much for taking the time to do this. From the time I was introduced to you, I knew you were pretty exceptional and were destined to do great things. I pray nothing but the best for you.

It was my pleasure Kengi thank you for having me on the couch. We made magic today.

When it is all said and done, we are either LIVING with HIV or dying with HIV, but at the end of the day YOU and ONLY YOU can make the choice to LIVE with HIV. Dante has clearly made the choice to LIVE with HIV and because of this, outside forces like guilt, shame, fear and stigma have no place in his life.

Bob Leahy: Thanks for talking to PositiveLite.com. We’ll talk about the film’s connection with Toronto in a minute. Tell me about yourself, first, Daniel. 

Daniel: Thank you too. Sure, for people who don’t know me I’d say I’m a person who doesn’t give up. I think two things have shaped my life; and those two things are acting and running. Both pursuits are about discipline and determination – and both have made me the person I am today.

Bob: You’ve made a film called VOICES which is clearly a labour of love and a work that reflects the passion in your soul.  Where does that passion come from – and can you describe it for us, in a nutshell?

Daniel: In a nutshell, I’m not sure I can do that, Bob, but I’ll try! I’m a British born Asian, with North Indian heritage, and I think that background makes my passion inevitable? Punjabis are naturally passionate and expressive people and when you’re brought up in that kind of an environment it’s going to rub-off on you. There’s no escape.

Also I’m a Sikh; and Sikhism sprang out of a need to defend the community and to fight for justice, and the rights of the people. But Sikhism is also about being compassionate and caring. Defending a community isn’t just about physical fighting.

Bob: You first visited South Africa over ten years ago.  Why did you go and what were your impressions – what did you bring back with you?

Daniel: Correct, yes. I flew to Cape Town over ten years ago, to work for a few months for SABC, the South African Broadcasting Corporation, as part of my media studies. I chose South Africa because the recent history fascinated me; I wanted to see it for myself; to look at it with fresh eyes – because I didn’t believe the clichés.

What I experienced on successive trips was a nation in transition. People on the move, vast spaces and over-powering scenery, often juxtaposed with people squashed into a small area and living in absolute poverty. Then you have the wealth and privilege, and the shopping, and the eating. It’s busy. It’s culturally mixed. The faces of the people tell the story of the nation. I was hooked. It was like a drug.

What I brought back, apart from a stack of photographs that would’ve broken the back of a camel, were incredible and vivid memories; and a burning desire to record what I’d seen and heard in a film. That was the genesis.

Bob:  Now the Toronto International AIDS Conference in 2006 was important for you, wasn’t it?  I was there too, and so was our founder Bran Finch who organized a demonstration at the opening ceremonies. I’m not sure you and I met though. Tell me in what capacity were you there? What was your objective?

Wow – amazing! I wasn’t actually at the conference. What happened was that I heard about the media storm from the Producer of Voices; Simon Constable.

The news shocked me; and I instantly realized – and this was before I knew about or saw any demo. footage – that in this transformational moment there was a potential film. There was a great story. And so in the Autumn of 2006 we began to look into what happened in more depth, and to contact people.

Bob: Now that international conference plays an important in your story.  Do you want to talk about what happened there?

Daniel: Yes, it does – it’s the core of the film. In simple terms what happened was that a spontaneous AIDS activist demo. The South African government sparked savage criticism during his closing ceremony speech, from Stephen Lewis, (pictured below) the out-going UN envoy for AIDS in Africa. That very eloquent speech, and the resulting international media attention, was the turning point in the decade long fight against HIV/AIDS in Southern Africa.

Bob: When  he spoke, Stephen Lewis, called  the South African Government’s actions  “wrong, immoral and indefensible”. He was talking about AIDS denialism - promoting ridiculous treatments (or were they cures?) they had put forward, like lemon juice.  Anyway, do you want to talk about that?

Yes. As I said, and as I told him (in Vienna in 2010), Stephen Lewis’s forceful speech was perfectly timed. He spoke for everybody; and he articulated their concerns and anger beautifully. In many ways he could let rip, as he was about to stand down from his post.

AIDS activists and the scientific community were understandably furious about Thabo Mbeki’s total failure to tackle HIV effectively. And it’s as hard now, looking back, as it was at the time, to believe that President Mbeki’s government, and his Minister of Health, ignored proven methods of tackling AIDS; and embraced denialist theories and phantom treatments. Beetroot, garlic and lemon juice, for example. It’s just unbelievable – but it happened!

Without that stand, the  demo and the other actions and interventions of activists in Canada, and, of course, that wonderful speech, who knows where we would be now.

Bob: I think I was at that demo and I took photos; I should dig them out for you. Anyway, what happened next?   When did you decide you wanted to make a film?

Daniel: As I already said, I decided to focus the film I’d always wanted to make on AIDS after the Toronto conference or summit. But films don’t just happen, and you absolutely need evidence, substance and good material.

The end of 2006 and almost all of 2007 was spent researching. We did conduct early interviews with people who were available; such as Sir Bob Geldof and Dr. Robert C. Gallo, and we planned the budget and gathered resources.

Bob: Had you had any experience in filmmaking?

Yes. I studied media at University and created short films there as part of my course work. As I mentioned I worked at SABC and also the BBC, the British Broadcasting Corporation, in the UK. And I personally filmed footage, and some interviews about South Africa, in 2004. So I was fairly experienced in filming and editing.

Bob: What did your plan look like?

Daniel:  Our plan was to fill in the back story and the gaps. By 2007 we already had compelling archive; but what was happening before 2006? And what happened afterwards? We needed to investigate in order for the whole story to be told – even in a sketchy way.

Did that immediately present itself as the way forward? No. For about twelve months we struggled with the angle. Everybody we spoke to had an opinion, but nobody had a solution. It was only at the end of 2009 that it really crystalized. Then in the following year we set off for the second and final filming trip.

Bob: You managed to got footage of the Toronto conference and that demo we talked about and you used it in Voices, I hear.  I’m dying to see it. What’s the footage like?

Daniel: When you see the archive material we were given permission to use, and how we treated it, you won’t believe it. It’s just like you’re there on the stand. You’re there! It’s in front of you. You’re in the moment when the Minister of Health is cornered on the stand and asked to justify her policies by a tenacious female journalist. And we did that to convey the power of the moment to the viewer; and to show ‘people power’ in action. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s history. And there are parallels with the situation in the Arab world and the whole 99% movement.

Bob:  So you commenced filming in 2008?  Tell me about that.

Daniel: Yes, 2008. After spending 2007 researching and planning we gathered some funds. We formed a tight five person team – that was three cameras and two Producers; myself and Simon - and we set-off for an intensive and packed filming trip.

Bob: Where did you go and who did you interview for the film?

Daniel: 12 days in a paragraph? I’ll do my best to summarise it, Bob. But seriously, with the small budget in mind, we based ourselves at a fantastic hostel, in Alexandria, in Johannesburg and used it as a base to travel the country. Support from early partners was invaluable.

First we drove South to Free State with Save The Children. Then we headed East to Pietermaritzburg to look at the work of Fritse Muller. Then we headed for Maseru, the capital of the country of Lesotho; a nation inside of South Africa, to look at the amazing work of ALAFA there – 2,500 kilometres in total! In between there were many interviews. Every day was a working day.

And at this point I have to say that without the early partners it would’ve been a very different trip indeed. As would the 2010 trip.

Bob: Where you happy with the results, the footage from Africa? And how do you go about editing something like that?

That footage from 2008 is great. The purpose of the trip was to really look in-depth at everything -  and we did. We looked at rape, prevention, baby graves, how men are affected, we looked at the good and the bad. There was actually too much footage to use and a lot fell by the way-side – such as the to-camera diaries I recorded every day. But who knows, maybe they’ll make-it onto the DVD?

Compared with 2010 the 2008 trip was a dream; but what we did discover was that we would have to return, because the South African government changed and so did the health policy.

Bob: That’s what I wanted to ask you. I mean that was a time of transition then with a new, more progressive government coming in.  Did that complicate things for you or altered the relevancy of your message in any way?

Daniel: Well, firstly it was – in my opinion – very much a consequence of Toronto. Do I think Mbeki was forced from office because of what happened in Canada in 2006? No. But it was another nail in his coffin. Some would call him a murderer. Not me, I would stop short of that; an interviewee doesn’t. But there’s blood on his hands, definitely. I’ve seen the consequences of his inaction and denial. People died needlessly.

We all like a happy ending – don’t we, Bob. We all like the happy ending and the credits rolling and it all working out. Is there a happy ending if you’re HIV? Maybe you’re happier and alive when you get the treatment you’re entitled to from your government?

There’s a question mark and we don’t know if South Africa can sustain so many on treatment. Will those HIV positive citizens become drug resistant? We don’t know. We have to be hopeful; and we have to give them the opportunity to live and to contribute to society, and not create more orphans. I think the little AIDS orphan girl we follow in Voices, from being very tiny almost to puberty, is symbolic of hope.

Bob: You’ve said the film is about not just voices by answers.  What are the answers?

Daniel: Yes. It’s titled “Voices – Nobody Will Silence Them!”  because eventually the cries were heard; the cries were answered. And the film is also called Voices because of some of the incredible people who have contributed their time, their memories and experiences. Sometimes you just hear audio and there’s a blank screen. It’s a just a statement – just a voice. Something powerful. A memory. People like Gail Johnson; the Mother of the late great Nkosi Johnson, the inspirational Zachie Achmat, and many less famous but equally important persons.

What are the answers? I think Voices shows that we’re all in a position, even in a small way – such as when people buy WAITROSE produce; which then directly helps fund an HIV clinic, in rural Limpopo – to fight HIV/AIDS. I think Voices doesn’t only show things going wrong it often shows what works, and good models. For example: peer to peer education and support, employer responsibility, youth engagement and ‘edutainment’; and real sustainable government intervention.

Bob: You’ve called working on this movie – and we’re talking almost six years - “an obsession, a blessing and a curse”.  Do you want to explain that?

Daniel: I said that? Sure. An obsession because I had to tell the story, people had to know; a blessing because my life has been enriched by the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been; and a curse, because I put so much into the film. In 2009 I was in a life-threatening accident and totally broke because of Voices and nobody would help. But I never stopped believing. I never gave-up – just like the Toronto activists!

Bob: What stage is the film at now?

Daniel: Voices is now completed and in a seventy minute screening version and ready to sell and to be broadcast. We are lining-up what we hope will be high profile screenings; and will continue those right up to World AIDS Day – hopefully one or two a month.

Bob: What does it feel like now you are almost there?

Daniel: A relief! Certainly the work isn’t over. But we’re confident, and above all, if we can screen or broadcast in South Africa, and Canada, we’ll be very pleased indeed. I have to tell you that many South Africans do not know to-this-day what happened in Toronto in 2006. Canadians may also need reminding?

Canada is very close to my heart – as I know it well, and have been there and have family there. Obviously, without Canada and the Toronto conference six years ago, and people like Dr. Mark Wainberg, sub-Saharan Africans might still be not be getting the ARV treatment they so badly need to stay alive; and could still be dying from AIDS because of denialism and inaction

Bob: When do you think people will be able to get a look at it?

Daniel: Bob I would love to give more details but we’re currently in discussions. If people can follow us on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/voiceshivaids and check our tweets then they will see information as the weeks and months pass. But international broadcast is absolutely our aim. The world must know the story and the mistakes must never be repeated.

Bob:  Daniel, I want to thank you again for talking with us. You’ve given us the trailer to look, let’s look at it now.

Daniel Larson Sidhu is an actor turned film-maker based in the United Kingdom. He established Blue Rain Productions in 2008 with the aim of creating films that would assist people to better understand others and the world. Completed in 2011, VOICES is Daniel and BRP's debut feature documentary.

Find out more about VOICES on their website here. 

Follow VOICES on twitter @VOICESHIVAIDS

Bob Leahy: Hi Alphonso. Thank you for talking to PositiveLite.com.  You’re no stranger of course, because you have your own column on our site  but I’m really liking the chance to ask you a few questions and get to know you better.  You really are an interesting person, with more than one story to tell. Right now for instance you have your music career as DJ Relentless and as a recording artist, your drag career as Jade Elektra and then, of course you happen to be HIV-positive and entirely out about that. I guess that prompts me to ask you - Why out?  Wouldn’t it be easier to keep quiet?

Alphonso: Actually I have been officially out about my HIV status since 2009. I mean...I have always been out to my closest friends and family, but in 2009 I didn't want to be a hypocrite after hearing about Ongina coming out about her status. I just felt that everyone should be honest about being positive.

Bob: But you don’t make a big thing out of it.  For example, in your column for PositiveLite.com it’s only mentioned in passing. Is that a conscious thing or is HIV not really a big part of your life anymore?

Alphonso: HIV is a big part of my life, but I don't let it rule my life. I have been positive for 23 years.

Bob: OK. Let’s get back to that HIV aspect in a minute.  Tell me about your background. You weren’t born in Canada were you?

Alphonso: No, I was born and raised in Tampa, Florida.

Bob: So how did you end up in Toronto?

Alphonso: Well, my husband is from Toronto. We got married on April 30th, 2010. Our 2nd anniversary is almost here. At the time when we got married gay marriage had not been passed in New York. And I had been in New York City for 17 years at that time and I wanted to be with my husband. He wasn't going to move to the States. So, here I am....in love and happy.

Bob: Good! Let’s talk about drag. Tell me why you wanted to do drag in the first place. And was it hard to break in to the business?

Alphonso: Believe it or not, I never really wanted to do drag. I was entering a weekly talent show at a bar called Rene's doing impersonations of Michael Jackson & Prince. Huh....come to think of it, I was just a hop and step away from drag with those two. Anyway...I got tired of being beat by drag queens in the competition and decided that I couldn't do any worse than I was already doing. I wrote about it in my last blog. As far as it being difficult or hard to break into the business...no, it was a different time. This was 1985. Long before the internet and YouTube. In a way it forced you to work hard at being original and forced you to look to your elders for guidance.

Bob: Is there much infighting or do you gyrls all get along?

Alphonso: Child, I am too old be fighting with these young gyrls out on the scene now. The great thing about getting older is realizing what's important and what's not. The things that these kids are doing today are all old hash. They don't know or care about what the future holds. So, how do you fight someone who is blind?

Bob: Alphonso, you aren’t  too keen on what RuPaul and his Drag Race  have done for the business, are you?

Alphonso: In my opinion, RuPaul's Drag Race has lowered the art of female impersonation to the lowest common denominator. The show does not give an accurate look into what it takes to be a drag performer. All it shows is rewards for bad behavior and bad attitudes. And if folks knew all the stuff that goes on in the background with the producers of the show, they'd turn it off. And RuPaul should be ashamed of exploiting these gyrls to keep herself in the spotlight.

Bob. I see. Now you’re a big proponent of singing rather than lip syncing, aren’t you? Is this something every gyrl should strive for?

Alphonso: Not everyone can sing. And there's nothing wrong with laying a lip to song...especially if you do it well. I mean, lip syncing some Pop song that repeats itself over and over ain't talent. Do something with a monologue. That's talent. I lip sync too, but when I do it's a great song with character.

Bob: Alphonso, you said in one of your recent articles for us that “I always enjoyed at the end of the show taking all that stuff off and being Alphonso King Jr.”  Are you more comfortable being Alphonso than Jade Elektra?

Alphonso: You know, I know a lot of queens who do drag because they are not happy with themselves as a man. Maybe they get more attention as a gyrl. Maybe they feel sexier or more attractive as a female. I have always loved being myself. I like doing drag and performing, but I love wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a Yankees baseball hat.

Bob: You said too “The drag world still fascinates me. What motivates a man to put on a dress and act like a woman?” So I’m going to ask you just that. What DOES motivate a man to put on a dress and act like a woman?

Alphonso: Some folks get uncomfortable when I talk about this, but I'm gonna say anyway. I was molested as a child by an uncle and even though it was a terrible thing to go through a part of me enjoyed acting like a gyrl for me. He recognized that I was gay when I was 7. He exploited it, but I think part of me healing was accepting the fact that I have a feminine side and that's okay. I use that side of me to create this woman for the stage.

Bob: But is it a blown-up version of a woman?

Alphonso: I am not like other drag queens. My mannerisms and even physical body transform. In my mind, I am not larger than life. I am a small, demure lady. I become the woman that I would like to see on the street.

Bob: You’ve also made a career as a DJ.  Do the drag and the DJ-ing ever overlap or are these always two distinct gigs?

Alphonso: I rarely DJ in drag. Mainly because most establishments won't pay me to do both. I'm not opposed to it, but I have built a reputation as DJ Relentless and I don't feel that I need to DJ in drag. To me that's just a gimmick to get a gig. I want to DJ gig for my talent, not for what I look like. Which also goes for the new breed of gym-queen DJ's. I'm not DJ-ing with my shirt off either.

Bob: You probably hate this kind of question, but what gives you the biggest high – doing drag or DJ-ing?

Alphonso: They are very different. The rush of being on stage and having everyone's attention is very different than controlling a roomful of people with what music you play. Both are exciting and rewarding.

Bob: Can you make a career of being a DJ in Canada or do you have to move somewhere else to really make it happen?

Alphonso: I am already making a career as DJ in Canada. I had already spun in Canada a few times before moving here. In fact, I have travelled to London, Athens and Amsterdam. So, I am sure I could have a DJ career anywhere. Even though technology can practically make anyone into a DJ, nothing can replace experience and music knowledge. You can download any song you want, but if you don't know the history of the song you might as well be an iPod.

Bob: Now of course you have a musical career in your own right.  Do you want to talk about that and where you would like to see it go?

Alphonso: Well, if you check iTunes you can find Jade Elektra and DJ Relentless. I have been a vocalist and also a producer. Jade was originally known as a Bitch Track artist with tracks like "Bitch You Look Fierce" and "How Do I Look?", but when the Proud Mary album was released she showed her vocal chops. And as DJ Relentless I have done back-up vocals and produced house tracks like "House Is Alive" with the UK's Loop Da Funk.

Bob: Your musical idols are?

Alphonso: Billie Holiday, George Benson, Dinah Washington, Al Green, Tina Turner and Al Jarreau.

Bob: OK, now I want to go back to the HIV thing.  I don’t think you’ve ever talked to us about how and when you were diagnosed.   Do you want to fill us in?

Alphonso: I was diagnosed in 1990, but became positive in 1989. A condom broke and that was that. I knew the guy. We were dating and he had no idea he was positive. I remember telling him and him completely falling apart. After about 6 months after being told the news, I accepted it. There was nothing I could do to change it. And I guess it was my destiny. You see, if I had not found out I might have stayed in Tampa and lived a completely different life. My diagnosis prompted me to get up and do the things I always wanted to do. Which is how I ended up in New York City in 1992. My movie, television and music career as Jade would have never happened. My DJ name of "Relentless" would not have been given to me by a customer at The Works on the upper east side.

Bob: Did you deal with it well when you got the news you were positive, or not?

Alphonso: Believe it or not, I assumed I was going to die. So, I planned to take out a huge loan and do all the things I had dreamed of. But after a few months, I woke up and thought "You'll probably borrow all this money and end up healthy and in debt." So, I decided to work towards my goals instead.

Bob: So has being HIV-positive complicated your career at all, either in the drag world or the music world?

Alphonso: Not really. Being positive has had nothing to do with my work. I have been pretty healthy except for my diabetes. That's probably been more of a problem than my HIV. My status has probably caused more problems in my dating life. Deciding when to disclose was a problem at first and then I just started telling on the first date to avoid wasting theirs and my time.

Bob: Are there many poz drag performers who are out?   I’m guessing quite a few of them are not talking, right?

Alphonso: I am sure there are more than most people think, but not everyone is out about their status. I know a few, but unfortunately not everyone handles the news well. So, many choose not to tell their families and with the fear of being rejected they choose not to tell boyfriends or casual partners.

Bob: How have advances in HIV treatment affected you personally.  I’m going to guess that you are on treatment with an undetectable viral load.  Am I right?

Alphonso: When I was first diagnosed, AZT was the only treatment. I watched a lot of my friends die on that stuff. So, I refused to take it. It wasn't until 2005 that I started treatment and have been undetectable ever since.

Bob: What would your message be for someone who is newly diagnosed – and worried about just about everything?

Alphonso: It's funny that you should ask. A drag friend of mine just got diagnosed and I told her something very important. Don't do anything that you don't want to do. If you don't feel like you need to be on the meds or that you are not ready yet don't start. Find out as much as you can about what you are about to take. Don't take your doctor's word for everything. And learn to be honest with yourself. Learn to forgive yourself. And most of all...stay stress free.

Bob: Excellent advice. One more question.  Sorry if it sounds a bit Miss America-ish.  Everybody has a dream.  What’s yours?

Alphonso: I dream of leaving my mark. I hope that my life and experiences can be used to teach someone in the future to live their lives to the fullest.

Bob: Alphonso, you’ve been a great sport. I hope we didn’t intrude too much.  Thank you so much for talking to us like this and we look forward to hearing more of your story as it unfolds on our site.

Alphonso King Jr writes as DJ Relentless on his PosiitiveLite.com blog. Find him to on his own website www.djrelentless.com. 

Post script from Alphonso . . .

I thought I should share some of my material and performances with you. I recorded a live album at Statler's last summer. I'm still working on it being remastered and working out the distribution part. There are a couple of clips from that show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSEZZQ4XSFs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBSw0vn9ffM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7pzOI-KsLA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1tnmxwtOvU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQpWc6QLRwQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYRepLl6n9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf0OsmHJoSg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvJABcOc8zk

THIS IS A CLIP FROM MY GAME SHOW featuring my other character, PAPRIKA JONES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQLZ_O_pZks

THIS IS THE PILOT FOR MY TV SHOW Called "SHOWGIRL 101" (filmed before Drag Race even started) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiVFMtpxDKM&feature=related

THIS IS A CLIP FROM THE WEEKLY VARIETY SHOW I USED TO DO at CREWS & TANGOS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGrT7h3PdQ

You should google me. I've done movies, television and traveled the world. I had a weekly variety show at Crews & Tangos (Toronto) but  I had a crappy time slot (7 PM to 9 PM on Saturdays). It was very difficult to get people to come out that early so they cancelled it. I keep hoping to find another spot to do the show. It was a lot of fun. I featured all types of entertainment. I had live singers, comedians and of course female impersonators.

Plus, I wrote and recorded a song for AIDS awareness called "H-I-Vogue".

So, there's a lot more to my story (as you can see). I have opened for Cyndi Lauper. I performed with Beyonce at the Roxy in NYC. I am currently one of the resident DJ's at Crews & Tangos (Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays). "DIrty Mondays" "Night Skool Wednesdays" and "CLUB LITE Fridays".

(Editor's note: Here's an interview with FAB.)

We make no bones about it. We love the show, we love Christopher – and we knew his story was a winner when we first saw it.  So we are happy to bring you another video interview with Christopher Wilson, Living with Henry’s affable writer, as the show enters an exciting new phase. The show has been invited to New York City! 

Christopher is excited about a benefit for the show, lined up April 23 at Toronto’s Bathurst Street Theatre, Block To Broadway.  And so am I.  It features a stellar line-up drawn from Toronto’s musical theatre scene, including one of our favourites, Ryan Kelly who shone in the Toronto production of Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart and whom I interviewed for PositiveLite.com last October. 

Details of the benefit are below.  We also have a brand new and exclusive video interview with Christopher filmed just last week.  It’s at the bottom of this post.  Don’t miss it.

If you want to check back on the history of this show, we first interviewed Christopher back in June 2011, prior to the show’s Fringe debut. You can read my subsequent review of the show here. Christopher talked to us later here and then we interviewed him again in December 2011, prior to the show’s transfer to Toronto’s Next Stage Festival production at Factory Theatre. 

So yes, we are fans. We’ve always thought, even before we first saw the show, that it had the potential to go far - and that is exactly what it is now doing  So, if you are in Toronto, please consider getting out and supporting the April 23 Benefit. Here is their press release, with more details.

BLOCK to BROADWAY! BENEFIT

On Monday, April 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm, Beyond Boundaries presents the musical theatre celebration, A Block to Broadway! Benefit at the Bathurst Street Theatre, 736 Bathurst Street, Toronto.

Toronto’s hottest professional musical theatre talents join together to kick it up and raise funds to help send Living With Henry to the New York Musical Theatre Festival this summer! Doors open at 7:00pm with a silent auction and cash bar.

A Block to Broadway! Benefit features Alana Bridgewater, Christian Bellsmith, Gabi Epstein,Marisa Falcone, Sherry Garner, Konstantinos Haitas, Kelly Hollif, Michael Hughes, Ryan Kelly,Lisa Kisch, Lizzie Kurtz, Lori Nuic, Nadine Roden, Ari Wienberg, Christopher Wilson, and is accompanied by David Myers.

Living With Henry – an inspiring new musical drama written by Christopher Wilson, premiered to critical acclaim in July 2011 at the Toronto Fringe Festival. Consequently, the production was selected to continue at the Best of Fringe Uptown and the 2012 Next Stage Theatre Festival. This theatrical work explores the complexities of living with HIV/AIDS today. Framing HIV as a chronic llness rather than as a death sentence, this poignant musical lays bare today’s realties, promotes education and strives to examine the fear and challenge the misunderstandings still associated with HIV.

Remarkably, Living With Henry was recently invited to participate in the prestigious New York Musical Theatre Festival (www.nymf.org) in July 2012, as one of ten productions chosen from several hundred for this privilege. This is a tantalizing opportunity to showcase a new Canadian musical work at an internationally regarded Festival in the United States.

BenefitTickets: $35 adults, $25 students/arts workers. General admission. To purchase tickets, please call the Arts Box Office @ (416) 504-7529 or visit online @ www.artsboxoffice.ca

Read more about Living with Henry on their website here 

Video services provided by Guy McLoughlin.