I have only been to one real play in my life I think. About a year ago we went to see an off-beat version of Peter Pan. There was so much sexual innuendo in it and I was surprised to see so many children in the audience. They weren't laughing at the same things the adults were. We had free tickets so I thought, why not? In any event,  I think I'd like to go see a real play someday but right now, I'm watching Smash.

I grew up in a time when movie musicals were all the thing with stars like Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, and Ginger Rogers. I didn't see them in the movie theatre though, as way back in the early 60's there wasn't much to put on television except musicals and westerns. Disney had Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Mary Poppins, The Sound Of Music. We were able to see movies in a theatre when we moved to a town that had a theatre. I think I watched everything like this I could so maybe that was my first clue that I was different. Mind you I did watch a lot of westerns too.

There were times when I think I wished I could dance like the people in the musicals, but I can't. I recall in grade five or six I signed up for square dancing. I think I stomped on several feet before I had to quit.

I really miss the late 60s and early 70s, when variety shows became the show you didn't want to miss, like Sonny & Cher, Carol Burnett, even Donnie and Marie. They were all successful in keeping the old song and dance  tradition alive. Many of the early stars would appear on them as well. 

I have never sat through an episode of Glee, ever! I applaud Glee for everything it stands for but I find it’s too young for me. They do use music that I grew up listening to and maybe it’s supposed to help me relive my past but it doesn't. In most cases, well ............. well they butcher most of the music. Sorry, just my observation, but some music you just don't change or try to update and put  in a musical. 

Smash is for grown ups and I can relate to much of it. I haven't missed an episode and it resonates with me more. Yeah, sometimes they breakout in some Broadway number, often in a daydream or imaginary sort of way but it works. 

The show centres on a production about Marilyn Monroe's rise to fame, something they all admit has never been done successfully. Debra Messing plays a songwriter and her songwriting partner is - get this - a gay guy. Gay characters are very well represented in the story, all are believable, not stereotyped with plenty of male/male kissing and intimacy. A cast-off from American Idol, (I forget what season), Katherine McPhee is the title character  - and what a voice! (The person who won American Idol that year was I think Taylor Hicks, not sure but he never made it. McPhee should have won, the judges were the most surprised when she got the boot off the show. Her mother managed to land a job with American Idol recently.)

Other familiar names in the show are Angelica Huston, Bernadette Peters in an appearance in one show as the mother of the girl who had the lead in the Marilyn play, and then Uma Thurman came into the show to replace her. Teen heartthrob Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers appeared in one episode, hmmm. This first season must be close to winding up, I’m really hoping it gets renewed. Lots of drama, lots of twists, great entertainment, again, in my opinion.

When I heard this show was being produced by Stephen Spielberg I thought, hmmm, but the trailers were enough for me to give it a view and I'm glad I did. I really like this show. I may not buy the DVD set when it comes out because I've already seen the whole series so far but there is a CD available with 13 songs from the show, I might be picking it up.

1) Where Have You Been (Hardwell Remix)-Rihanna 

2) Starships (Krunks Ghetto Booty Bass Mix)-Nicki Minaj 

3) Girl Gone Wild (Dave Aude Dub)-Madonna 

4) Somebody That I Used To Love (J Farrell Remix)-Gotye 

5) Molly (Original Mix)-Cedric Gervais 

6) Levels (Baltimore Bounce Edit)-Avicii 

7) 212 (Extended Mix)-Azealia Banks 

8) Turn Up The Music (Chris James Edit)-Chris Brown 

9) Rumor Has It (Joe Maz Remix)-Adele 

10) Move Your Body (Benny Benassi Remix)-Marshall Jefferson 

Check out DJ Relentless for Dirty Mondays at Crews & Tangos on May 21st & May 28th. 

And here's a free download for your listening pleasure: 

DIRTY MONDAYS Sampler Mix

 

“Even if the rate of HIV infection among MSM remains at the current level, by the time a group of young MSM (18 years old) reach the age of 40, 41% of them will be HIV-positive. We cannot make any progress in fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the U.S. unless we find ways to lower rates of HIV transmission among MSM.”

Positively Aware 

Ed pulls out a condom from his pocket and says to the crowd, “We’ve always had the answer all along. We couldn’t figure out how to use them.” As an international HIV/AIDS educator and one of five subjects of the award winning AIDS documentary, We Were Here. Ed Wolf reminds us that waving our finger at each other to use condoms never worked and never will. 

This is the second interview to inquire how the film impacted younger gay men.

Roy is 25, bright, reads Nietzsche and graphic novels and spends most of his time in the cyber-sphere from where he predicts a future he can get behind. He’s an artist saddled with a student loan he says he’ll never pay back from an arts program he never finished. After washing dishes in Toronto he’s moved to our place on a small west coast gulf island for several weeks to work in our quarter acre garden. On the surface the exchange was a few hours of daily labour for room and board. The inter-generational mentorship will last a lifetime.  For now he’s planning to live in a tent tucked away in the woods for the summer, read and make art. A reasonable choice considering how disconnected much of his cohort has become from the natural world. 

My husband and I are the first out poz men he’s got to know. He was only peripherally aware of the history of AIDS. From the beginning of our time together we have ruminated over the relationship between gay past and queer future. Today we talk about the documentary, chaos and condoms. 

Birch: Having seen the documentary on the SF history of AIDS what questions emerged for you? 

Roy: It was more of an exposition of what happened. No questions. It showed people reacting with their best from a crisis. I got to hear their stories of their triumph and suffering. I’m trying to relate it to now.  The audience was made up of people who care about the subject already - because they are emotionally attached, mostly people who had history with it. I came because I was told to come. I love stories and I love stories that paint people as human beings. It was about authentic stories. Later, I went to my friend’s house to tell him about how great the film was. We realized we have no contact with people who lived through it or are willing to talk about it. It is important for young men to see this film early on before being introduced to the disease-focused sex education in high school. It’s important to hear stories of the people who have HIV before you scare them about it.  

My friend said, “Maybe they shouldn’t all have had sex with each other.” I reminded him that it was a completely different time. The condom is taught in school because of what happened, and yet it creates such a naïve outlook (without the context of what happened). It has created an us vs. them rationality (especially in gay culture) because we are not exposed to people who are positive and their stories. It is no surprise then that there is so much prejudice within the gay community toward positive men, especially in younger generations. 

Birch: Do you think younger gay men blame positive men for having to wear a condom today themselves? 

Roy: No, lots of them just do it because we were taught to do so. It depends on your upbringing. Some of them go bareback, they see it in porn, or someone fucked them bareback. It depends on what version of sex ed. you got. Some of us were imprinted; as a teenager I heard ‘always put it on’…and now that I’m here (at 25) it is more to do with the guys I’ve been with…. 

Birch: How would you describe the sexual culture you have inherited as a younger gay man? 

Roy: Sex is more clinical. It’s not just about the condom anymore. Sex is very fearful now - in every regard. It is not about connection in the way it should be. Not on a level that makes people feel good. A temporary thrust, bam and quick see if the condom broke or not. Gasp. Fear. It is clinical. I look to porn to see where guys are having great sex. Mr. Steeds Bareback blog. He just talks about all his bareback connections. Maybe it’s all fiction. He’s a good writer. It’s entertaining. Maybe it’s not all fiction. It is fascinating. He makes it sound a lot more fun – a lot more connective. 

Birch: How do you relate to condoms?

Roy: The condom represents boring sex. Every sexual encounter that started off potentially great, the ones that felt more connected, always wanted to go bareback. Then I told them to put on a condom. I always have the fantasy to go there (raw sex), even drunk as a mess…so, sex ed. did a good job. But when I told them to wear a condom the sex always became more lacklustre, putting order on chaos. 

Birch: What is it about ‘chaos’ you desire? 

Roy: It’s more free. More connection. It’s not antiseptic. It’s sweating. It’s nasty. It is so scary to try. The ‘order’ is so…I have a condom on my subconscious, on my being. When the fear is so ingrained the bodies are manipulated into ‘over-thinking’ and then (by default) we end up masturbating on each other. I’ve only had mutual masturbation. I’ve never had bareback sex which I equate with real sex. Condom sex, at least the mentality that comes with it, is like two people masturbating – we’re so caught up in our heads. I’m talking about my fantasy world. I’m not going to say you can’t have great sex with a condom. 

The people who risk themselves will fuck you. There are not there to masturbate. It’s not just about condoms and bareback. Its what the whole thing represents. It’s all about order and chaos. Dionysus has always had a big hand up. You know what I’m saying, darling. The maenads fuck better than the congressmen - unless of course the congressmen are a little crazy. Never mind - congressmen are probably all fucking bareback. 

Birch: So how would you describe the culture of raw sex?

Roy: The whole thing represents more masculinity to go bareback. It just comes with that. The straight community never wears condoms. So you have to wrap yourself to go have sex? It feels cheated. Like we’re not having sex. Straight guys can fuck at the party. Being a gay man we are seen as disease carrying vessels. With a straight guy, it’s just a guy fucking. You have no condom-tations with it. Wrapping ourselves up as clinical specimens - it’s not sexy. AND we hear stories of the 70s where gay men were having sex: breakfast, lunch and supper, sex, sex, sex. How orgiastic. Then the pendulum swung back to order. Now we want to swing back, it’s just that natural swing of things and we want an orgy. We never had that. 

Almost every week I end up bitching about what a DJ has to go through while working.

There are all kinds of disc jockeys in the world. You have the Mobile DJ that handles weddings and bar mitzvahs. And then there’s the Radio DJ who is probably controlled by a set playlist. And then there is the type of DJ I consider myself to be....a Club DJ.

All DJ jobs are very difficult. You are attempting to please a room full of people with what you play. You have to make decisions on where to go with the music. Do you take the request for the song that is 15 to 20 BPM’s slower than where you are or do you continue with what has people on your floor already? What if you are asked to play a genre of music that you don’t know or understand? Or perhaps it’s a genre that you admittedly are opposed to? What are you supposed to do?

Well, the first thing I would like to say is....”The relationship between a DJ and his dancefloor is like a conversation.” You need both sides to have that conversation. You have to listen in order to have the conversation. Unfortunately, I believe that today’s audience is filled with what I call “The ME Generation”. They feel a major sense of entitlement. Each person is only concerned with what they want and no one else. Often the DJ is trying to have the conversation with the floor and these members of The ME Generation come up and try to control the conversation with their request. They think that if they request their song that they will make the DJ change the format and steer the conversation in their direction. 

Now...I know some DJ’s who allow this to happen all the time. There are some who actually only play requests. I guess it keeps them from having to think about their playlist. Or maybe they do it to win some imaginary popularity contest. Anyway...these are the DJ’s I call iPods. Whatever they are told to play, they do. 

My most common interaction with someone of The ME Generation is usually of two different camps here in Toronto. It’s the Popheads and the Caribean Connection. With the Popheads, they want everything played that they have listened to on the radio and their iPods all day. With the Caribean Connection, they think because I am a person of color that not only should I play Reggae and Soca, but that it is a given that those genres are a part of my playlist. 

When I first moved to Toronto, I wrote a blog about why I don’t like to play Reggae. I explained that I had a friend who was Jamaican and was murdered because he was a homosexual. Out of protest of his death and the police not even attempting to find his killer, I decided to remove Reggae from my playlist. I also found that the majority of the most popular Reggae artists recorded what is known as “Murder Music” which has lyrics about killing gay people. In order to remove Reggae from my playlist, I also had to remove Soca. Mainly because if you play Soca then your audience automatically assumes that you are gong to play Reggae.

Now...as a gay man, I just think that the politics behind “Muder Music” won’t allow me to support that genre. With that being said.....have I played Reggae and Soca on my floor since being in Toronto? Well, yes I have. I had to in order to keep my job. Do I own a lot of Reggae and Soca? Absolutely not.  I own some really commercial tracks that have crossed over or are remixed with that flavor. But to honestly say that I am a Reggae and Soca DJ I cannot. That would be like asking me to play Salsa and Merenge. I don’t even speak the language. Even though my heritage is of Puerto Rican, African-American and Caucasion I am an American through and through. My background in music actually ranges from R&B, Jazz, 70’s and 80’s Rock, Pop, Dance, House, Bitch Tracks and 80’s Alternative.

When I came out in Tampa, the nightlife scene was so small that you had a huge mix of gay people on one dancefloor. It was nothing to have leather men, twinks and drag queens dancing with each other. In fact, I believe it made for a better community because we all had to share the same dancefloor and watering hole. But nowadays, everything is segregated. And the history of the music and the sense of community is lost. And why shouldn’t it be? With music at your fingertips on your computer or phone, everything is disposable. We are bombarded with too much information. And that would probably explain why the art of mixing and programing your sets as a DJ is no longer required. 

There was a time when the DJ made a song a hit. Now, the DJ is just the tool for playing the song. No personality is needed. No real talent is needed. I started Dj-ing in the summer of 1980 with my uncle, Herbert King at WMNF 88.5. It was a Jazz and R&B show. My uncle didn’t mix, but he taught me the importance of programing. “What are you saying with your music?” “Do you believe in the song that you are playing?” “What does this song mean to you?” “Why are you playing this song?”  These were questions that he would ask to get me to think about what it really means to connect with your music. It wasn't until I took a trip to Chicago and heard mixing on the radio there that I decided to learn how to manipulate beats per minute to transition from song to song. I saved up for a pair of turntables from Radio Shack and a mixer (which I still have to this day....they don't make 'em like that anymore) and practiced in my bedroom everyday after school. 

So, when I am asked to play a genre of music that does not respresent me or has nothing to do with my musical background it is like asking me to have a conversation about a subject that I don’t know. I will only look stupid if I attempt it. So, I choose not to have that conversation. If I know a liitle about that subject, I will say what I know (as in I will play what I have), but I won’t go any further than that. But when customers start demanding a genre, it makes me not want to play it at all. Let me surprise you with what I do know. You might actually learn something about mixing and programing if you listen. 

Some of the best conversations I have had with my floor have been when I watched the room and figured out what it is needed to keep it going. A request is a great way to let the DJ know what you are feeling, but when it turns into 5 and 6 requests it seems like you do not respect your DJ or trust his judgement. It becomes a one-sided conversation and that never works. 

And I bet that the audience doesn’t realize that their presence on the floor is a vote on where the music is going to go. I believe that everyone should get served on my floor. That’s why I change the conversation every 20 minutes. I want it to remain interesting, especially if the format for the room is an open one. Remember, the DJ is not only playing for you. He has a entire room to worry about. And patience is a virtue. Leaving the floor because your song wasn’t next just says that you were not really serious about your request. And unless the theme of the event is a strict format of one genre, I am sure the DJ will get to your request as soon as he can. Provided that your request isn’t what we like to call a “Floor Killer”. Tracks like “The Macarena” or Kiddy Pop artists can kill your floor in an adult setting. When you have the trust of your audience, you are more likely to get away with anything you feel like playing. But until then, you really have to consider what that request is going to do to your floor. 

I guess the thing that strikes me funny and odd is that in New York City's top clubs where you spend almost $25 to $50 just to get in, you are not allowed to even get to the DJ. It is a given that you came to hear the musical journey that he has planned for you. And the measure of a good DJ is how his floor is doing. If he has a packed floor, then obviously he knows what he is doing. So, to come to Toronto and find that bar owners and promoters bend to customer requests seems ridiculous at times. How is the DJ supposed to show you their skills if they are bombarded with requests all evening? A good DJ can read his floor and make the decision to go in another direction with the music if needed. Which goes back to my change of conversation every 20 minutes. The rooms I have played for here in Toronto have been very open in formats. It would be different if it was a theme to the room that I was playing for. then I could concentrate on a specific genre and style. 

So, a balance had to be made. I came up with a system of a request sheet. It allows the audience to communicate with the DJ without disturbing him while he is trying to mix or find his next track. Unfortunately, most of the people have been drinking and do not grasp the concept of writing it down and leaving it at that. They want to write it down and then ask you for the song verbally while trying to hand you the request sheet to make sure you see what they wrote. Or they think by writing their request really big that it will make you play their song quicker. It can be very frustrating when people are not polite enough to leave room and spaces for others to make their requests. The ME Generation just doesn't care. 

So, I hope by writing this blog I have given you a different perspective about what requests are and what they mean in the big scheme of the night. Don’t forget that the DJ has a job to do that is more than just pressing “play”.

Left - Cover picture for John’s portfolio of writings about performing in The Laramie Project – Ten Years Later, a play written by Moises Kaufman and members of the Tectonic Theatre Project.

We’re now at the end, but it’s only another beginning

This incredible theatrical masterpiece has drawn to an end here, but only with respect to the performances that had been scheduled.  Both Wednesday and Friday nights performances achieved standing ovations. 

Thursday’s matinee unfortunately had some audience members pulled from attending.  This performance in particular was set aside for GSA (gay/straight alliance) students and their teachers, but I guess their concern was the dialogue was not suitable for students to hear.  In my mind this has proven not only to show a lack of trust from members of our community, but also sheer disrespect to this young man’s legacy.  All of us as a society should never deny others from experiencing a record pf historical events, especially those which have changed our laws. 

I’m taking the liberty, having portrayed Matthew’s father in this production, to say to the world “Yes, my son was and would have been an inspiring and wonderful extension to our human race” had he only been given the chance.

I want to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read my personal thoughts on this story. I’ve only wanted to shed a little light on such a horrible event that took place in our history. 

Bye for now………………..The Dreamer

The bottom line first: a surprisingly conventional drama cloaked in unconventional garb, this is a love story that’s both intensely familiar and, thanks to the use of dance segments which illustrate the action, unique and exciting.  Combine this formula with highly disciplined and skillful acting of the first order and you have a show that tries hard to please – and does, in spades.

What’s it about? Simple really – and all highly accessible. Fresh-faced young Alan is new in town from Espanola, Ontario exploring the bar/club scene.  One night at the bar he meets the attractive and experienced Bart who beds him and rejects him.  Trouble is young Alan likes older Bart – a lot, and won’t give up that easily. Meanwhile Bart’s partner, scholarly Calder, falls in love with Alan, but his love is not returned.  As they say, complications ensue.

This is a story of modern sexual manners – how men meet, mate (or not) and deal with the consequences. It’s zippy lines are clever and often funny, but also ring true with a keen sense of language and gritty realism that writer Sky Gilbert wields expertly.

The oddity here is the use of dance segments to illustrate the action, choreographed by Sky Gilbert and Keith Cole. Each scene here, which takes place in modern day Toronto, is followed by a stylized dance/movement piece with a highly different feel and look to the dramatic action preceding it. They are for the most part romantically orchestrated throwbacks to yesteryear, with the protagonists dancing out what the audience has just witnessed. 

The production positively sizzles with stellar performances on the part of all three leads. Newcomer Nick Green (above) as young Alan is a revelation, clearly someone to watch in both senses, with his very finely nuanced performance full of depth and maturity.  But impressive too, as one might expect, is seasoned favourite Ryan Kelly, of The Normal Heart and Living with Henry.  We also liked David Benjamin-Tomlinson  who rounded out the trio.

If one has issues with this show it is inevitably how the two main elements of this production – drama and dance – meld.  At times, the transitions seem a bit ungainly, and the juxtaposition of such disparate elements may not work for everybody.  Personally I liked the idea – I thought it added freshness and intrigue and charm.

All in all, though, this quirky production is a success. Buddies tends to be a reliable source of contemporary queer theatre, and this production, mounted by Sky Gilbert's own The Cabaret Company, is no exception.  Go see it.

Dancing Queen is at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander Street, Toronto until April 29.

Tickets via the Box Office at 416-975-8555 or T.O.Tix/Ticketweb