Is Twitter the new black? I think so! It so impresses me. I type in my 140 characters or less, include a "hashtag" or two, hit send and a second later it is (hopefully) being read around the world.

If you’ve been following my blogs you will have read about my journey into the techno world. It all started with high school, laughing at my science teacher for saying that one day computers would sit on all our desks and maybe, even on our wrists. Today, here I sit in the middle of the next big thing, the "social media" explosion. For a while, I just dipped my feet into it, communicating only with family and friends. But things ramped up when I decided I wanted to do something for HIV awareness - to fight the stigma that goes along with HIV. I heard that social media was the avenue to do it. The rest is history.

Last week I attended the HIV/AIDS Legal Network’s Third Annual Symposium on HIV, The Law and Human Rights in Toronto. One of the topics on the agenda happened to be "Social Media - Believe the Hype".

At the beginning there was a quick show of hands. Who uses Facebook? Lots of hands in the air. Who uses Twitter?. Maybe half that number . Some of us avid users of social media were surprised by the number of people who had neither a twitter NOR a facebook account. There were some who admitted that they had been very sceptical about Twitter and Facebook but were finally getting on board and learning how it all works.

This symposium, though, was Twitter all the way.In the opening statements of the symposium and regularly thereafter we were given the "hashtag" to use if we were going to be tweeting about the symposium. @aidslaw2011 quickly became extremely popular as tweeters bent over their mobile devices and relayed the content of the symposium to the world  - and to each other.  It was exciting.

Time to take a brief side-track here, for the benefit of those who don't know what "hashtags" are. They are words or phrases accompanied by the # sign in a message (a tweet). Do a search for anything with the hashtag #aidslaw and all recent tweets with that handle will appear on your Twitter page. Tweets might include related hashtags like #HIV, #AIDSLAW, or #HumanRights. The more hashtags you can squeeze into a tweet means you can potentially reach more people searching for those hashtags.

Another important use of hashtags might be to identify places that you want to reach, e.g. #Guelph, if I wanted people in my area to find my tweets.

Back to the Social Media – Believe the Hype workshop. It was moderated by Kathe Rogers - Communications Coordinator, Dignitas Intl. The panel included:

Justin Stayshyn - Consultant, Activist, Writer (and “inventor” of the popular hashtag #canqueer)

Andrea Ramhit - E-Communications and Social Media Coordinator for UNICEF Canada,

Sarah Millar - Web Editor, Toronto Star,

Andrew Brett - Communications Coordinator, Aids Committee of Toronto (ACT)

and our own Bob Leahy - Contributing Editor, PositiveLite.com

Each of these people gave a presentation on how they use social media to get their message out and offered tips on how they make it work better for them. There was much discussion on how to attract people to your message or your website and the relative importance of content vs. number (and quality) of followers.. The bottom line was that two-way interaction was key.

Interestingly, by far the majority of the discussion was about Twitter rather than Facebook as the preferred social media platform, although the point was made by more than one panellist that a successful communications strategy involves a whole barrage of techniques.

There was time for questions. One that stood out was on how much time did the panel spend doing social media "stuff"? Sarah Millar responded by saying she is into it from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed - and she sleeps with her phone. All of them emphasised the very substantial time commitment that was involved in getting serious about social media, with the belief that this investment, which may not be capable of being accommodated within existing staff levels, was worth it.

This is true. As important as social media is or may become to our AIDS Service Organizations, it clearly IS very time consuming and thus requires inventive ways be found to embrace this important new communications vehicle.

Despite these difficulties, it was clear at least some in the crowd were won over and became new converts to the Twitter army. For the rest, the question remains: if you aren't using social media yet, why not? We'd love to hear from you!  Better still to join us!

 

Long before I was diagnosed with HIV I had this idea I wanted to get involved with an AIDS Service Organization and helping in some way to get the word out.

I remember the first thing I thought of doing was to take the training to be a "buddy" to someone who had AIDS. I wasn't "out" to many people at the time so it was something I could do without having putting myself out there as being gay. It was within my comfort zone. However, usually the training happened when I had to work and I couldn't take time off to do it. I would tell people I that I could do something but not be out on the frontlines. Give me something to do in the background, like stuffing envelopes.

When I got hooked on the internet and the chat-room drama, I found a way to be of some use. Many times questions would be asked in the chat-room, usually by younger people. On most occasions the answers they were getting weren't very informative or correct. I would private chat with them and direct them to contact their local ASO to get some current and correct information. I would often jump into conversations were people were talking about unsafe sex and I would put my two cents worth in. I tell you, I thought I had all the answers.

Then I got caught myself. I was very disappointed in myself. I knew everything to prevent myself from getting HIV, I had access to all the education but I didn't practice what I preached. I found that I could still do what I was doing and use my diagnosis as a learning tool. I got back to the chat-room and private chat with people who had questions. I’d tell them I was poz and what they should do to not let it happen to them.

I recall one young guy, he was 17. He shouldn't have been in the chat-room but little was being done to prevent youth from entering. He thought he had to have a boyfriend all the time. He told me he had met a few people and they only used him for sex and lied to him. His self-esteem was low, he wanted to kill himself and he felt if he could get HIV he would die. I told him, "you don't die from HIV anymore, you live with it." I told him, "you are 17 now, if you had HIV you would have to tell every partner you have for the rest of your life, possibly for the next 60 years." I tried to point out to him that if he thought it was hard to find the right person now, being HIV positive could make it even harder.

I may have been too blunt with him back then. I didn't have any training in how to deal with these situations but I think it was necessary. Eventually he stopped feeling that way and decided to make better choices and wait for the right guy instead of a lot of the wrong guys. It felt good to be able to do something, especially for youth.

I am so glad to see the ASO's getting involved in chat-rooms doing on-lline outreach, being ithere to answer questions or provide guidance. And here is where we fast-forward to where I am today.

Last year I heard of the Positive Prevention - Train the Trainer workshop my ASO was putting on. I didn't sign up for it the first time it ran because I had heard that at the end of it, they hoped some people would become involved in facilitating workshops and advocating safer sex practices among other things. I just thought that’s not me, I could never do those things.

I eventually signed up the second time they ran the course, but I still had no intention of doing anything with it. In the last part of the course, we had to put together a short workshop idea and present it to the rest of the class. Talk about fear. My idea was to set up a discussion group, a weekly support group where we would pick a topic or two to discuss. When you have this type of activity, there isn't much facilitating; everyone is talking and hopefully the group would learn from each other how to handle situations we live with.

Today, I am opening doors that weren't there two years ago, Now I sit on the Board of Directors for my ASO, I have volunteered with three other Positive Prevention courses, I am deep into social media, writing blogs for my ASO as well as here on PositiveLite. I am getting opportunities to tell my story, to put a face to HIV and advocate against stigma. I am meeting so many great people along the way.

I believe that much of the work that needs to be done now lies within ourselves and in our peers; we can help each other. As new infections increase, it’s getting hard for ASO's to meet many of our needs. The Positive Prevention course gave me the skills to help myself and my community in some way and that’s what I am trying to do.

The month of June has always been an important month for me. When I was younger and in school. the end of June meant start of the summer holidays. My grandmother's birthday was in June, my mom's first name is June or "Junie" as my grandmother called her and her birthday is in June. I now have a grand-daughter who has a June birthday as well.

Three years ago, the month of June gave way to another type of memory for me. On June 15th 2008 my oldest brother passed away from leukemia. He was 56 years old.

Not having my father in my life, my two older brothers were there to fill that gap. We always knew where to find him and he was always there to talk to. He would keep us in line and make us listen to our mother. He let us know what was going to get her upset and what would get us into serious trouble with her. My brother never had children of his own but he had three younger brothers and a sister and we all looked up to him.

My mom told me that when she told him about me coming out to her, his response was "he's just going through a phase". I responded by saying, that living in the closet was the phase. He and I never really got the chance to sit down and talk about these things face to face, but I know he supported me, I just knew these things. I can sort of understand how hard it would be to strike up a conversation when for 37 years you see your brother as being straight, married and a father and to have him, all of a sudden, come out as gay. So basically, nothing needed to be said, life went on and we were brothers.

I remember back when I got my diagnosis, I made the comment that I was glad it wasn't cancer. Now I wish I could take back those words. Like HIV, some cancers can be treated and some cancers can be cured, but some others can be the acute type that will take you quickly. When I mentioned my brother to my doctor and told him it was “acute”, he said, “that isn’t good”. It certainly wasn’t what I needed or wanted to hear.

Very often I stop and think. Sure I have HIV but there are people out there that are living with far more serious things than I am. My HIV is being controlled and I can live a long and productive life and take care of myself. I can never take this for granted.

I have worked as a Personal Support Worker with the elderly and people with cancer. Many of them were palliative. It was hard when some of them passed away but nothing really prepared me for losing my brother. It just wasn’t the same.

I was about 24 years old when I finally found my father. It was disappointing. He wasn’t even half the man my brother was.

Mike was my hero. I miss ya, Bro.

In Memory of my brother Mike and dedicated to my mom, June and my brothers and sister.

 

I made the decision to be more involved in my local AIDS Service Organization (ASO) when I completed their Positive Prevention - Train the Trainer course last fall. Going into it, I didn't think I would use it in any way, not until we got to the social media part. It was then that I realized I had already been doing some social media stuff -  or knew where I could find it on the net. I was on Twitter and Facebook and I had always wanted to do a personal blog.

Another opportunity that we could get involved with was learning workshop facilitation. This frightened me right away: I would NOT do public speaking. Uh uh, no way, not gonna happen!

Fast forward to December of last year., I attended a Speaker's Bureau course and learned how to go out and tell my story. Now  I still get nervous, get the shakesand get weak in the knees while speaking.   But I’m getting a little more comfortable each time.

I had to tell my story in front of the rest of the class and a panel of well seasoned speakers who have been doing it for many years. We were to provide verbal feedback and fill out a written evaluation on each other. I received mine back a while ago and I was surprised by the results, good and bad. I was satisfied and could agree with most of the comments. I did have one negative reaction: someone had the nerve to say, "lose the har!" WHAT!? That hat is part of me now !

I am just joking here, I respect the comment, but I WILL continue to wear my fedora. It’s my security blanket and, besides I am being true to myself. It’s me!

Years ago, when I was told I would probably have to leave my job, it was suggested that I get a hobby. I had always liked photography and I always had some sort of camera. For most of my life that meant just taking pictures of family events and get togethers with friends

Many years ago I tried to do the kind of more advanced photography I do now. Looking back it doesn't look like I had much vision for it then. Now I find it relaxing and a get-away from the stress and drama that clutters up my life from time to time. Several days a week I pack up the things I'll need and go "take a hike" for several hours. The stress is minimal now

It was suggested by my ASO that I do a photography workshop. I thought about it, then one day I put a plan down on paper, showed it to them and got the go ahead to do it. I could get some help from them if needed. They felt others may get the same benefits from photography that I was getting.

So on May 24th I facilitated my first workshop, called "Photography". I am not a professional in any way, I've never taken any courses in photography. I learn as I go. The workshop was centred on introducing people to digital cameras, where and how to buy one cheaply, how they operate, save and store pictures, how to photoshop them and share them online or turn them into prints.

As I started to do the presentation, I got nervous, my voice quivered a bit, and if you have seen the movie "The King's Speech", I couldn't read clearly what I had written. I stammered and had to go back and re-read a line again. I did get some relief when questions came out, others would chime in with what they knew and soon the workshop was all of us having an open discussion around the table. Involving the participants was my saviour.

The second part of the workshop was an excursion to take some pictures. We have several trails along the river here so we only had to go a couple of blocks to get to one. I had pointed out to watch for things that they might think would make a good picture. We ended up with a lot of very good pictures that we plan on putting in a book for each of us and the ASO. We had a class on Creative writing as well so some of it will be included also.

I am now thinking about doing another workshop in the future, hmmmm, what should it be on...............blogging?

My photography can be viewed on www.flickr.com - my username there is rubberschmuckie or you can try this link.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, I went to high school in the late 60's, a time when being a "homo" or "gearbox" as they called it, wasn't cool. Many times I would hear, "why don't they just get married, have kids, it will change them”. The only thing I knew about gay people was the "weird guy" in town; everyone told you who he was and that you’d better stay away from him. There was at least one in every one of the small towns I grew up in, He was like the "boogeyman".

It’s important to point out that at this time, homosexuality was considered a mental illness.

I was kind of curious about those guys though. But if I were to try and contact them, someone in town would find out and the word would spread like wildfire.

The friends I had back then were pretty popular with the girls, so hanging out with them was a good way to hide the way I really felt inside. I was terrified they would find out. I just recently learned from my best friend that they had discussed the possibility that I was a homo all those years ago,  They were afraid to ask and I probably would have lied anyway.

On my 18th birthday I was introduced to someone that I would eventually marry and set up home, in the "closet". By the age of 23, I was the father to three - a daughter and two sons. It was pretty rough going,  We had split up a couple of times but when I was 26 it all ended for good.

That seemed like the perfect time to start living my life the way I wanted to, but I didn't. Twelve years passed before I made the decision to live gay. I was out but I had to be sure I could do it so it was a further year before I told the family. For my kids, I wanted them to be secure in their own preferences before I told them. They admitted to me that they had thought I was gay, and were glad they wouldn’t have to meet anymore of “those” women. I tend to attract some questionable types.

I came out while living in Cambridge Ontario, I met this guy one day and he told me of a gay dance that happened Saturday nights., I could meet people there. It was three months before I got the courage to go.

Getting into the place was a bit comical. The guy at the door put me through a series of questions like “did I know where I was, did I know what kind of dance it was” and so on. Finally I said, "if I was to give you a big kiss, would that answer your questions?"   I thought there might be 25-30 people inside.   When I saw how many people were there, I couldn't believe my eyes. There had to be 200 people, mostly lesbians, though.

I never had a greater awakening as I did at that time. I wasn’t that one in several hundred thousand like I believed. This was so much bigger than I thought it could be, I felt I finally belonged somewhere.

So getting married and having kids didn’t change me, I doubt religion would either. I didn’t molest my children, I tried to be the best father I could be and together we survived it all. I have been very fortunate to have had a lot of support from my family and friends. I am now a grandfather as well and sticking around to be a great grandfather someday.

Being gay is not a disease, there is no need for a cure and Lady Gaga wasn’t the first to say “I was born this way”. I wasn’t part of the movement that made things the way they are today but I admire the people who did.

Over the past few years I have lost part of the support team that I had in place or thought I had. And its’ all because of what happened in the internet chat-rooms.

In my days of looking for love in all the wrong places, chat-rooms seemed to be a good place for me to find friends and possibly meet someone to date. It all came to an abrupt halt last year when I had my HIV status plastered all over the chat-room because of a difference of opinion with some individuals who were supposed to be my friends. 

Here’s the background. I would go into the chats and, over time, I managed to get in conversations with some popular people in there. If you’ve never been in chats, there is always a group that pretty much guides the conversations. Everyone else is trying to be their friends. They just seem to know many of the people you want to meet. Soon I was being invited out to the bar or to dinner parties and got to meet a lot of people. I grew to trust a few of them and I revealed my HIV status because they kept asking why I didn’t go with this guy or that guy. I told them I would have to tell my partners and some of them I had told weren’t comfortable with it.

One day there was a conversation going on in the chat-room about gay marriage. I decided to put my two-cents worth in. Keep in mind that a few of these people are legally married gay couples. I made a blanket comment and stated it was my belief, that I wasn’t condemning anyone for what they do. I said that I didn’t think it was right that when someone legally marries that they fool around with others or add them to their bedroom. My belief was that if you love someone and make that decision to marry and take the vows of marriage, you should be true to just that one person. I wasn’t alone in this belief; there were a couple others who agreed with me.

Two of the couples took offence to my comment. They made it all about them, that I was referring to them. In retaliation they proceeded to tell everyone my HIV status. The next time I went into the chat-room, everyone was talking about me and how I should be shot for not having my status in my profile. When they noticed that I had entered the chat-room they started to sling the crap at me. I just sat there and watched, not responding. I couldn’t believe the attitude of these people, it was all so childish. The good people I wanted to hang out with were now a group of hateful people.

I was lucky enough to have had support from a couple of really good people that I still call friends. They spoke up for me saying my status wasn’t anyone’s business and the only time it becomes someone’s business is if I wanted to hook up with anyone.

To this day, I have never been treated as badly as that by anyone. These people were in the same community as I was, the gay community. I had only heard about the stigma you can sometimes experience from others within the community. They showed me what it’s like.

“I will create or I will allow the things in my life” and today, I make better choices in friends and acquaintances.