Well Howdy Y'all!! Yes I am back!! Sorry for the absence, I have been going through some issues. A small bout of pancreatitis, the death of a very close friend, and my 35th birthday, much to my chagrin, is rapidly approaching (T-19 days). But I digress, what I wanted to talk to you about this week is..... BUM BUM BUM!!! Drum roll please..... Exactly 16 days ago, I started the process of quitting smoking!!! YAY FOR ME!!!

Now I have been smoking since I was about 14 or 15 years old, I have forgotten now, (that and what my natural hair color actually is) In the last 6 months I was smoking almost 2 packs a day. Now I must tell you that I did not really want to quit smoking, not in the least!! But I got to a point where I knew it was time. 1.I finally had enough of my doctor harassing me about it. 2. at $7.16 a pack I just can't afford it anymore. 3. I now have insurance that will pay for the prescription “stop smoking” drug Chantix. (I believe in Canada it is Called Champix).

Now Chantix is supposed to be this miracle drug that can make even the heaviest smokers kick the habit!

How is works is you take this little blue pill 2 times a day, and for the first 7 days you are suppose to keep smoking, on day 8 is when you actually stop smoking, well for me it was more like day 12 but if you tell my doctor I will kick you in the teeth!! (just kidding, I won't kick you... well I might, but I won't be in the teeth, maybe a bit lower, but not hard.... OK not THAT hard)

The really fun thing I love about getting a new prescription is reading the “possible” side effects. They always crack me up!! And With Chantix it is no different. Let me elaborate, the following is taken directly the Chantix Important Safety information section of the pamphlet enclosed in the box:

“Some people have had changed in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using Chantix (varenicilline) to help them quit smoking.” “If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, or mood that are not typical for you or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking Chantix and call your doctor right away.”

OH GOODIE!! WHAT FUN THIS IS GONNA BE!!

It has been 16 days since I started taking Chantix, 4 days since I have had a cigarette, and alas, I have not tried to kill myself or anyone else, actually I haven't even been any moodier or crankier than usual. But of course the main side effect of Chantix, like most of the drugs I have to take on a daily basis is “vivid, unusual, or strange dreams”. Now as a sufferer of adult night terrors I am used to messed up bad dreams, but let me tell you this Chantix stuff takes the cake!! SERIOUSLY!!

Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Miley Cyrus, her and I decided to rob a wig shop at gun point, and the we ran off with our loot, a ton of fake hair and costume jewelery, no cash mind you, and then we went to a “gentleman's club” for drinks and lap dances from the lady strippers!! NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A NIGHTMARE!!! I mean MILEY CYRUS??? UGH!!!

All in all I am doing much better than I expected. In a way writing this post was yet another test, you see I always super chain smoked when I wrote, so I have been afraid to try and write, not sure if I could do it without my smokes. But as you see it appears that I can still manage to get the words out of my head, there are a few more typos than usual but that is why spell check was invented!! Wish me luck, and I will keep you posted!!

Thanks for reading!! XXOO Danny

Critically acclaimed American blogger Danny Miller, also known as “The Chatterbox”, suffered a minor heart attack in his Lusby home, outside of Baltimore Maryland, at approximately 5:30 Saturday evening. Mr. Miller, blogger for the immensely popular WebZine, PositiveLite.com is widely know for his vivid candor, quick wit, and his devastatingly handsome good looks.

Sources tell us that on this extremely hot summer evening, (temperatures reaching 103 degrees Fahrenheit) Miller was working with his windows and front door open in hopes of encouraging a relieving breeze, when a extremely fast and potentially vicious snake slithered under his screen door, right under the nose of his beloved cat Bagheera and into the residence. (see picture of actual snake above)

Unsure at first what he had seen, The Chatterbox went to investigate. Now as most of his avid readers know, Miller has a extreme terror of all creatures of the creepy, crawly variety. Many remember well his post entitled “Danny... The Spider Slayer!”, in which he recounts the terrifying events of the time he was attacked by a giant spider. So you can imagine his fright upon discovering a snake in his private sanctuary uninvited.

Sources then tell, that under immense distress and barely able to draw breath, The Chatterbox ran for the phone to call for help. Moments later, Miller's parents, Roger and La Lonnie Miller, who fortunately live just blocks away arrived on the scene to render aid and succor.

Upon entering the residence, the Millers found their only son under the kitchen table, sobbing and shuddering, wielding a pair of kitchen tongs and a flashlight. Right away, Mrs. Miller went to render a mother's soothing comfort to her frightened adult child. Meanwhile Miller's father, heedless of his own personal safety went in pursuit of the trespassing snake.

Finally having the snake cornered, Mr. Miller sprang to grab the snake, just then it darted through Mr. Miller's legs and headed straight for his quivering and hyperventilating son. The snakes lightning quick actions did not daunt The Chatterbox's heroic father in the least, thinking only of saving his son in danger, Mr. Miller sprang forth and grabbed the snake just inches from his son's right foot. He then mercifully threw the snake, still alive into the front yard so it could find shelter elsewhere.

Then sources tell, that Mrs. Miller, even though terrified of snakes herself, was so enraged at the snakes actions against her son ran out the door after the snake to avenge her son. Just steps away from the snake, now slithering rapidly through the grass, Mrs. Miller fell and twisted her ankle, sustaining a very ugly scrape on her left knee. The snake alas escaped into the tall, un-mowed grass of Miller's alcoholic, unemployed neighbor. Mrs. Miller's injuries were minor and treated on the scene.

When asked about her brave actions Mrs. Miller stated, “I only did what any mother would do, nothing nor anybody gets away with assailing my boy!!” Both Mr. and Mrs. Miller's actions are inspiring displays of a parents unconditional love. The Chatterbox is a lucky man indeed.

After a thorough examination, Mr. Miller is currently sedated and resting, once again safe in his home. He is expected to make a full physical recovery, having suffered no permanent damage to his heart.

When questioned a mental health expert stated, “Though Mr. Miller will definitely make a quick and full physical recovery, there is no telling what kind of emotional damage such a trauma as this may have caused.” Please keep The Chatterbox in your hearts and thoughts so that he will not only have a speedy physical recovery, but that also that he may be able to soon put this horrific event behind him and once again enthrall and educate your minds and funny bones with his eloquent words!! Thank you for reading. XXOO Danny

This post is dedicated to my good friend Barry Phelan, who through his humor, sarcastic wit, determination and drive, and his never give up attitude inspires me to be a better, stronger, and more caring man. XXOO

Barry, like myself, and many many others in this world who are living with HIV are disabled. Now by disabled I mean that by the decisions of our doctors and our governments we are unable to work a full time “regular” job. Some of us, like me can work a limited amount, but many, like Barry are unable to work at all. This not our choice!! We are at the mercy of our bodies, and how much effort and physical strain they will tolerate. But this DOES NOT mean that we are drooling invalids, incapable of making it to the bathroom when needed, it just takes us a little longer to get there sometimes. We ARE disabled. We are NOT dead!!!

Now the reason I have chosen to talk about this is because recently I have encountered some “confusion” (I really don't want to have to say out right ignorance, though it might be more fitting) on this subject.

My good friend Barry has been spending the last few months preparing to volunteer for a bike rally that is to benefit The Toronto People With AIDS Foundation. A very noble and ambitious thing for him to do in my opinion. Apparently not everyone feels the same as I.

In the last week someone (whom I don't know, and that's damn good for them) commented to Barry: Well if you well enough to do that why don't you get a job and stop taking money from the government? Now in a perfect world this should have surprised me, but lets face it, these days in a lot ways it seems like this world is on a downward spiral. I myself have been confronted with this same question. Well to those inquiring minds who want to know here is the answer. WE CAN'T!!

It's not for a lack of wanting to, because believe me the last thing I had planned for my life was to be disabled, on Medicare, and AARP at the ripe old age of 34!! NOT IN THE LEAST!!! I was suppose to be a rock star living the high life!! Obviously much to my chagrin that didn't happen, instead I got sick, I became disabled, and now I work part time (mostly from home, on the couch in front of the computer, on the phone in my undies) as a gay men's HIV/AIDS advocate and activist.

Now these same people have asked: Well why do you do that?? Why do you put your business out for the whole world to see?? Why are you always talking about AIDS and gay stuff?? To these questions I give you these answers: Why not?? I have nothing to hide, I have done nothing to be ashamed of. By me telling my stories and talking to other gay men, especially younger gay men who right now make up a very large part of all new HIV infections, hopefully people will learn, hopefully people will protect themselves. And most of all, because I have to, your not gonna do it... Are you?? No I didn't think so.

So for those out there whom would rather we “disabled” would just sit around and drool on ourselves while taking government money to live, I say this:

Walk one day in our shoes, you take the pills, the nausea, the diarrhea, the social stigma. Just one day!! I dare you!! I would bet my cat (don't worry Bagheera, none of them will have the courage to take me up on this dare so just go back to sleep buddy) that you could never do it. Like Brian always says, “Not just anyone call pull off HIV glamorously!!” We may be disabled but we are definitely not dead. Mark my words. Thank you for reading. XXOO Danny

Now while I may look like the uber punk rock star guy, covered from head to toe in piercings, tattoos, my shark fin mini mo-hawk and black nail polish, inside I am really just a a big knowledge whore. While most gay men spent most of their internet surfing time looking at porn, me, I spend most of my time, (in addition to my addiction to facebook, I can so multitask, I got mad skills!) looking up stuff on Wikipedia.

Today on I was researching laws on HIV status disclosure in the state of Maryland, (found out that having sex with my boyfriend, (even though he knows my status, and we are always safe) is pretty much illegal, but that's another blog entirely) I came across the term Bugchasing.

Now I consider myself to be fairly well schooled in the subject of HIV/AIDS, I'm not claiming to be an expert by any means, but living with the disease for going on 4 years now I have learned quite a bit, but not until today had ever come across this term. I had a vague notion of the topic but it always seemed far too incredulous to completely believe.

Apparently “Bugchasing” is this entire gay sub-culture of men who are going out and getting infected with HIV ON PURPOSE!!! WTF!!! Now in the work that I do, I know there are some gay men who believe that they are gonna get it anyway so why bother being safe. This is sad enough, but to actually go out looking for it?? Wanting it?? Getting erotic pleasure out of thinking that “hopefully this is the unsafe encounter that is gonna infect me!!”

Nothing in my almost 35 years on this earth has shocked me more that this concept.

So these bugchasers go around looking for HIV+ men whom they call “the gift givers”, (oh yea that's some freaking gift they are giving) the article stated that “Some men consider bugchasing “intensely erotic” and the act of being infected the “ultimate taboo, the most extreme sex act left”

They have what they call “bug parties” where the “gift givers” have sex with HIV- men in hope of infecting them, because said HIV- want to become HIV+. SERIOUSLY?? Just how the hell do you get invited to one of these parties? “Hey girl what you doing tonight?” “Oh girl, I'm going to a bug party!!” “Oh really?? You gonna get you some HIV?? Can I come??”

I mean do they go to these parties and and then run out to get tested?? And are they disappointed if the test is negative?? Do they think to themselves, well I'm just gonna have to try harder next time! I mean do they actually sit down and create a strategy of infection?

Have they lived in a cave for the last 30 years?? Do they not realize what happens after they receive their so sought after “gift”?? The pills? The nausea? The vomiting? The ever so much fun diarrhea?

I just can't wrap my mind around the whole concept? WHY?? FREAKING WHY?? I'm normally not one to judge anyone, cause everyone knows I have more issues than National Geographic but in my opinion these bugchasers and gift givers are f%#king morons.

Thank you for reading. XXOO Danny

A similar term, hommage (pronounced /oʊˈmɑːʒ/),[5] refers to a reference within a creative work to someone who greatly influenced the artist. This usage has been rising during the twentieth century,[6] reflecting the modern French cognate of the word "homage" to refer to an act or work of homage, especially one work of art imitating another.

It is typically used to denote a reference in a work of art or literature to another, at least somewhat widely known, work. In literature and film, an hommage is similar to an allusion, except that whereas an allusion merely refers to another work, an hommage typically repeats a recognizable scene or stylistic element from the other work. An hommage can be similar to a parody, except that parodies typically exaggerate characteristics of target works for comedic effect. Hommages may occasionally be perceived negatively by critics as techniques often associated with amateur creators.

The use of hommages may be regarded as fannish or as an excuse for lack of originality. In modern society, hommages are less accepted in the mainstream than parodies, but still exist

I see this more and more since the release of her latest video Alejandro. Queens screaming at the top of their lungs SHE STOLE THAT FROM MADONNA!!! And MADONNA DID THAT FIRST ALMOST 20 YEARS AGO!!! Well guess what queens... NO SHE DIDN'T!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I am a hardcore Madonna fan through and through, she has inspired me so much throughout my life, her “I will not back down cause some people might get offended” attitude has helped me to be the outspoken person I am today.

Yes Gaga has sported some of the same looks and moves as Madonna. So freaking what??? Just how in the heck do you think Madonna molded herself into the biggest pop icon of the century?? By paying HOMAGE to the artists that influenced her, Marilyn Monroe. Marlena Dietrich, Eva Peron and countless others.

Anyone who creates art, be it music, writing, painting, etc. has someone who has influenced and or inspired them. There really is no such thing as true originality anymore. I mean hell if it weren't for discovering David Sedaris I probably wouldn't have been able to write the way I do, (I'm not saying I'm the worlds greatest writer, I actually always wanted to write like Stephen King, but it just wasn't in the cards, I'm better with jokes than monsters) reading David Sedaris I found my groove, something I could identify with, and that's how I write.

So many people think of an homage as a faux pas, as copycatting, well guess what people, everyone does it, you see someone on TV or in a movie with a cool hairdo, and you go out and get that same hairdo. That is all Gaga is doing, paying homage to those who have influenced her, Grace Jones, David Bowie, and yes queen our beloved Madonna, get over it!!

Thank you for reading, XXOO Danny