You can’t help but like Francisco Ibáñez-Carrasco.  He is a handsome silvered-haired dynamo, a Latino through and through, who is enthusiastic about everything he touches, even about being alive.  Clearly Francisco loves life and that comes through in the interview which follows.

Not that his life has been an easy one.  Born in Chile forty-eight years ago, he was,  according to his 2011 profile in CATIE’s The Positive Side “raised by a poor, single mother who earned her living cleaning rich people’s houses. As a child he was molested by Catholic priests, and as a teenager he traded sex for cash. “I get along with people with an edge, with difficult lives,” he says, “because I see myself reflected in them.”"

Francisco came to Canada in 1985; within months he was diagnosed with HIV.  Says CATIE “Most of the friends he arrived with in Vancouver moved on to New York City, which was “kind of a gay Mecca in our imaginations,” he says. “We were all young gay men who didn’t know anything about AIDS. We all got infected and they all died. Some of them died of HIV-related complications; some of them died undocumented. So, yeah, there’s a trail of dead people behind me, whom I honour, of course, all the time.”"

Francisco himself was diagnosed with Kaposi’s  Sarcoma back then, its  spots covering most of his body. He saw first one and then a second partner die of AIDS-related complications. But like many others he was saved from the jaws of death by the protease inhibitors which surfaced in 1996.

Meanwhile he had been pursuing higher education at B.C.’s Simon Fraser University where he eventually earned his Ph. D in 1999 – one of the first Canadians with HIV to earn a doctoral degree. His focus since has been on research on HIV and rehabilitation and, latterly, in the training of new researchers in the field of HIV. Resident at the OHTN (Ontario HIV Treatment Network) in Toronto, he has been Program Manager of Universities Without Walls.  Just recently he has been appointed the OHTN’s Director of Education and Training.

As you’ll see, Francisco is a lively and engaging interview subject.  For this interview I asked him the questions off camera with those questions edited out, allowing Francisco’s responses to shine through.

Videography by Guy McLoughlin

Photo by Bob Leahy

Bareback Sex: What you Need to Know.

Some guys have ‘bareback sex’ (anal sex without a condom). At ACT, we encourage men to practice safer sex by using latex or polyethylene condoms and water or silicone-based lubricant for anal sex. This is the best way of avoiding HIV infection, HIV transmission, or infection with other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

However, we also understand that there are other ways guys can reduce their risks. While these ways are not as effective as condom use, we respect the decisions men make for themselves. Our hope is that guys can make fully informed and conscientious decisions based on accurate information, if they choose to bareback.

All adults have the right to choose the type of sex they want to have. People have the right to decide what level of risk they are willing to accept for themselves.

In partnership with the Ontario Gay Men’s Sexual Health Alliance, ACT created a comprehensive resource on gay men’s sexual health. To learn more about other ways to reduce risk when barebacking visit: www.thesexyouwant.ca

Things to Consider if you are Thinking about Bareback Sex:

■Make sure your partner is actually agreeing to bareback sex: he shouldn’t be drunk or high, or in any other type of altered state that may prevent him from making a decision he wouldn’t normally make for himself. Just because a partner didn't ask to use a condom, doesn't necessarily mean he wants to have bareback sex: perhaps he's making an assumption about your HIV status, or he doesn't feel he can ask to use a condom. Think about this.

■If you are HIV positive it’s good to be aware of the legal obligations surrounding HIV disclosure (i.e. telling your HIV status). For more information about this check out this page.

■Use lots of water and silicone based lube when fucking. Apply more lube as you fuck. Water and silicone based lube will minimize the risk of irritation to the mucosal lining of your anus which allows a route of entry for HIV and other STIs. Lube also makes the initial penetration feel good! Avoid using saliva for lube. Try silicone lube. It has a different thickness and texture than water based, is safe with condoms, and may be hotter for you.

■Spread your barebacking adventures over time to allow any potential damage to your ass to heal.

■Be aware of pain levels. Fucking may cause discomfort or sensitivity, but it shouldn’t be painful. There doesn’t have to be blood for there to be damage.

■Early withdrawal does not reduce the risk for HIV transmission, as pre-cum can also contain HIV. Early withdrawal also does not prevent the transmission of other STIs (like syphilis).

■Don’t fuck if you have open sores on your dick.

■Don’t get fucked if you have sores around your ass.

■Before getting fucked, relax your asshole as much as possible: try anal massage, get finger-fucked or rimmed (lots of foreplay!). Repeated deep breathing helps your hole open up and makes it feel good.

■It's best not to put anything (like a dildo or butt plug) that has been in another person's asshole, in your ass.

■Douching (rinsing inside the ass) makes sense. Fecal matter (shit) doesn’t make good lube! Here are some tips we’ve collected that will make your experience more pleasurable:

 o Use warm water only. Douching removes the natural protective fluids in the mucosal membranes of the ass.

 o It’s best to wait at least 60 minutes following douching before insertion to allow time for your ass fluids to regenerate.

 o If you douche often, it helps to replace the good bacteria (microflora or probiotics) in your gut. This restores balance and aids digestion and absorption. You can get probiotics from yogurt or in capsule or powder from your local health food store. We don’t recommend packaged enemas you buy at the pharmacy. Not only will this solution irritate your mucosa, it will make you shit more than you need to. If you are concerned about your bowel movements, a diet rich in fibre and plenty of water can increase your overall ‘fuck-a-bility’ in a much healthier way than regular douching.

■Urinate (piss) immediately after fucking. This can help to clean out the urethra (piss slit) and may help to flush out any bacteria.

■If you are a trans guy and are getting fucked in your front hole without a condom, be aware that you may be able to become pregnant.

■If you are HIV negative, get regularly tested for STIs and HIV. If you are HIV positive, you should be aware that STIs are infections that can have a fast and negative impact on your health and your HIV viral load, so you should also consider getting regularly tested for STIs and Hepatitis C, as many STIs often have no noticeable symptoms. Talk to your doctor, local HIV/STI information line, sexual health clinic or AIDS service organization for more information on STIs and how they impact HIV.

Some questions you may have about bareback sex.

1. How risky is barebacking for HIV transmission?

 Let’s break down the possibilities.

■If you and your partner are both HIV negative, then there’s obviously no risk for HIV transmission. However, you may not really know the HIV status of your partner, or you may be assuming that his HIV status is the same as yours. In addition, you might think that you are HIV negative because you got tested: but when were you last tested for HIV? Six months ago? A year ago? Longer? Have you had unprotected anal sex with others since your test, and as a result become infected with HIV? You might have HIV and not know it: studies have shown that almost 20% of gay and bi men who think they are HIV negative actually have HIV.

■If you are HIV negative while your partner is HIV positive, unprotected anal sex is high risk for HIV transmission. The Canadian AIDS Society’s HIV Transmission Guidelines define "high-risk" practices as those presenting the real potential for HIV transmission because they involve an exchange of body fluids such as semen, vaginal fluid, blood or breast milk. In addition, a significant number of scientific studies have repeatedly associated those practices with HIV infection.

2. How safe is barebacking for other sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?

There are several STIs that you are at risk of getting if you have bareback sex. These include chlamydia, gonorrhea, Hepatitis B and C, genital warts, herpes and syphilis. Having an STI can weaken your immune system, which is a concern if you are living with HIV. Having an STI also increases the risk of HIV transmission. We've seen a dramatic increase in syphilis among gay and bisexual men in Toronto and other parts of Ontario. Syphilis can be easily spread through bareback (condomless) anal sex.

 3. Is it true the ‘top’ is at less risk for getting HIV than the ‘bottom’?

Yes, you are less likely to be infected as the top than the bottom, but the risk isn’t eliminated. According to a study in Australia, around 1 in 5 men who recently contracted HIV were tops. In a research study published in 2007, among a sample size of 102 gay and bi men who were recently diagnosed HIV-positive, 10 of them were infected despite being the top.

4. I have weighed the pros and cons of barebacking, and I’ve decided to do it. Is there anything wrong with that?

Bareback sex is not morally “wrong”. There are a many things really hot about it; however it does have greater risks. These may or may not be worth it to you. We believe knowledge is power. If you chose to bareback, we encourage you to be as informed as possible. Use the information here and in the suggested resources to be as informed as possible and reduce the risks to you and others.

5. I’m HIV positive and I choose to bareback. Why don’t other guys take responsibility for protecting themselves if they want to?

Well, some men assume that if their partner doesn't tell them they are HIV positive then they must be HIV negative. If you are HIV positive, and you don't tell your partner, and he assumes you are HIV negative, you are putting him at risk for HIV infection. Everyone should take responsibility for protecting themselves and their sex partners. If you are HIV positive, you should be aware that you could be charged for failing to disclose (tell your sex partner) your HIV positive status. Find out more about this issue here. 

There are many reasons why guys will consent to bareback sex without knowing the HIV status of their sexual partner:

■You might think that bareback sex is hotter than sex with a condom and so it's worth the risks;

■You might assume something that a guy said in his online profile indicates he is into barebacking (e.g. if he says he likes it "wild" or is into "pig play")'

■You might be HIV positive and assume that your partner is also HIV positive;

■You might be HIV negative and assume that your partner is also HIV negative;

■You might assume that your partner actually knows his HIV status;

■You might have an allergy to latex;

■He might be so hot that you feel like you don't care if you use condoms;

■You may be uncomfortable or afraid to mention condom use for fear of being rejected;

■You may be anxious about using condoms for fear of losing your erection;

■You may be really turned on during sex and decide, at the moment, that it’s worth the risk;

■You may be drunk or high;

■You may have been rubbing your dick against his hole, and slipped it in for a bit and decided to just keep going;

■You or he may not be fully aware of the risks.

6. I’m HIV negative and I choose to bareback. Wouldn’t someone who is HIV positive tell me before having sex?

Some guys might think they are HIV negative (because their last HIV test was 'negative'), but may have done something since that last test to cause them to become infected with HIV. They assume they are HIV negative, but in fact they aren't. Studies have shown that most new HIV transmission happens between guys who both think they are HIV negative, but one of them has been recently infected with HIV and doesn't yet know it. Studies have shown that when someone is newly infected with HIV, they have very high amounts of HIV circulating in their blood, semen, rectal and vaginal secretions, making HIV transmission likely.

Also, not all men may disclose that they have HIV before having sex with you. There are many reasons for this. They might assume that since you didn’t ask to use a condom, you are also HIV positive. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you have HIV. Often, HIV positive men are rejected once they reveal their HIV status, but if they don’t say anything, they won’t get rejected. In a casual sex encounter, what would you do?

7. I’m HIV positive and I only bareback because I feel I will be rejected if I tell my potential partners of my status.

This is a valid concern. We all know that discrimination happens against people who are HIV positive - even within the gay community. Remind your partner that people who are HIV negative should also be using condoms, as someone could be infected and not know it - people have often had risky sex since their last HIV test.

8. I’m HIV negative and I’m worried that if I ask to use a condom, my partner might believe I am HIV positive.

That could happen. But what if your partner is HIV positive and assumes that you are also HIV positive since you did not ask to use a condom? You could tell your partner that you’re HIV negative and you would like to use a condom. If he then says ‘if you know you’re HIV negative, why not forget the condom’, you can tell him that there are other STIs to think about. You can also tell him that research studies show that up to 20% of gay or bi guys who think they are HIV negative, are in fact HIV positive but don't know it: they may have been tested quite some time ago, and got HIV since their last test. They think they are HIV negative, but in fact they aren't.

9. My partner and I are both HIV positive. Why shouldn’t we bareback?

It’s your choice to have condomless sex together. We’re not saying you should or shouldn’t do it. You should talk to your partner (if you have sex with other people) about the kinds of sex you have with others. STIs, like syphilis, are still a risk to you, and can compromise your ability to fight HIV. STIs increase your viral load (a measure of the amount of HIV in your blood), and certain STIs can progress much more rapidly in people living with HIV. If you are HIV-positive and have bareback sex, it's important to get tested regularly for STIs and Hepatitis C.

10. I feel guilty whenever I bareback. Why do I sometimes slip up and have unprotected sex?

We’re all human. Nobody is perfect. Try to better understand the situations in which you get involved in unprotected sex. Where are you usually? How are you typically feeling? What reasoning do you use to make it more acceptable for you to have unprotected anal sex? Does your partner pressure you?

Just because you might occasionally 'slip up' and have unprotected sex doesn't mean you are necessarily a 'barebacker'. Some guys feel that sex without a condom is more care-free, more pleasurable and exciting. Others are worried about rejection, or about losing their erection. If you really want to be using condoms for anal sex (and there are many good reasons to do this!), there are ways you can experience intense pleasure and intimacy. And, you can learn to wear a condom and keep your dick hard.

11. I bareback because it’s an intimate feeling; I feel closer to my partner.

Some believe having unprotected anal sex is the ultimate, most intimate, sex act. There’s nothing wrong with believing that. But what about other sexual acts that might give you the same, or nearly the same level of intimacy with your partner? There are many different ways to feel intimacy with a partner and anal sex without a condom is only one of them. Try exploring other aspects of your sex life.

12. I am HIV positive but I take anti-HIV medications and my viral load is undetectable. Doesn't this mean that barebacking is OK because I can't transmit the virus?

While anti-HIV medications can dramatically reduce the amount of virus in your blood (and other body fluids), therefore reducing the likelihood of an HIV positive person passing on HIV to an HIV negative sex partner, there remains the possibility of HIV transmission.

Viral load is the amount of virus in a specific sample amount of blood. When a viral load is so low that it can’t be measured with common testing procedures, it is called ‘undetectable’. Some people call this ‘zero viral load’, but the virus is still present - it just means the number of copies of HIV is too low for routine tests to detect. Although it's quite rare, research studies have shown that some people with an undetectable viral load in their blood may have a viral load in their cum (or rectal secretions, or vaginal secretions) that is high enough to pass HIV onto their partners. Most of the time, guys with undetectable blood viral loads who are taking their anti- HIV medications as prescribed, and get regularly tested for STIs (and treated for STIs if need be!), also have undetectable viral loads in cum and rectal secretions. Having an undetectable viral load clearly reduces the likelihood of HIV transmission, but we can't rule out the possibility that HIV transmission still can occur. Condoms can provide that additional protection.

Photo credit © Doodkoalex | Dreamstime.com

This article first appeared in Bob’s other blog on The Body, which you can find here. 

Not everyone knows this but I used to be a banker.  I wore a three-piece suit and tie every day, and poured over statistics and reports and numbers and, well just bleh stuff, on the fifty-second floor of an ivory (no, stainless-steel and glass clad) tower in the financial district of downtown Toronto.  Not corner office, yet, but close to that. I had a fancy title and a lovely view, but my head was down all day, both literally and figuratively,  so I seldom looked up to enjoy it.

When I was diagnosed on a late afternoon in September 1993, having slipped out of my office but not my suit to get the news, everything changed.  It was traumatic, of course, particularly in those days when you had scant years to live. I didn’t want to die and I was an emotional mess. Inside I was in turmoil, outwards it was all about keeping up appearances. That meant telling nobody but my partner, going in to work every day and pretending I was OK.  I didn’t have Kaposi’s Sarcoma but otherwise it was all very Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, at least the first thirty minutes of that flick, before he got fired.

But an uber-stressful job like that takes its toll. For six months I watched my CD4 numbers plummet. I wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t know what to do. Telling my boss in this bastion of conservatism – they  had no idea that I was gay, even - didn’t seem to be an option.  I was stumped. So I just carried on pouring over numbers, like bankers in ivory towers do, meanwhile ignoring my own numbers.

I’ve told this story many times, but it was actually seeing Philadelphia that sent a major attitude adjustment my way.  In the movie, Tom Hanks, bless him, finally stood up to be counted - and so did I.  Summoning up strength one day, I went to the Bank’s health unit, told them that I had been diagnosed six months ago and, despite appearances, was drowning in worry.  And the universe didn’t stop; rather it went in to high gear. “We’ll take care of anything. You don’t have to go back to work.  We can tell your boss the reason, or not, it’s your choice.  Do you need support? If you want to talk to a psychiatrist, we can arrange that.  We have short term disability, you should take that and then we can talk long term disability options.”

The process was all so easy. I never set foot in my office again.

With disability issues taken care of, I went on a disclosure rampage and told everybody but the mailman I had HIV. Wait, I think I even told the mailman. Anyway, it felt remarkably good. And – bonus - leaving work saw my health improve, and my  numbers edge  up.  So, feeling good again, I decided that while I had all this time on my hands,  I would volunteer at the local AIDS agency.  What a slippery path that was . . . .

Three piece suit and tie were exchanged for black T-shirt, Levi 501s and Doc Martens, an ensemble de rigueur for activists of the day, while conveying a previously missing butchness to my catalogue of looks.  It felt good too working at the ASO, answering phones and directing traffic at the front desk. I felt important for the first time in a long time.

That was 1994. The rest is s history.  I now find myself not counting numbers in a bank tower, but dissecting reports on semen, syphilis and undetectable viral load.  Gay men’s sexual health has become my beat.  In fact I know more about semen than most sex club owners.

The magnitude of the change I’ve undergone never escapes me.

But it’s not just how I spend my time. HIV affects how we think, how we value our lives and those of others, how we decide what is important to us – and what isn’t.  I’m not talking about spending every day as if it was  our last; that’s way too trite, but in the old days, we all said it anyway , like we should all just go to Disney Land, to see Mickey one last time. No, it’s all about an appreciation of what matters that comes from personal trauma

This comes in many colours, of course. My version was wanting to make the best of my life, to make a contribution, to make sure my obituary didn’t just include couch surfing, or being a good flower arranger. I wanted, I guess, to make my mark.

I suppose that’s why I plunged in to AIDS work back then. I was driven to start blogging too. That was in 2003 and I became quite obsessive about it, blogging each day, every day, in order to establish a record of my life.  Self centered though that may have been, it was good for me.  I gained confidence, a voice and an audience.  Look at my LiveJournal blog and you’ll see 2.652 journal entries, which attracted a total of 96,506 comments – forty something a post!

I rattled on about everything in those days - my dogs, my home (then a farm in rural Ontario), my friends, my fascination with American Idol – and HIV.  I wrote a lot about HIV.  It was my little project to educate the world about what living with HIV, a pretty normal gay guy living a pretty normal life, looked like.

All this time, I kept looking over my shoulder at the guy in the three-piece suit working on the 52^nd floor, next to the corner office, who even his secretary didn’t know was gay, yet alone poz.

Fast forward a few years, and I am the Editor of PositiveLite.com, a changed man again, with close tabs on a fast-growing news/blogging empire.  But I’m also still a details guy. Today I did indeed spend hours studying semen - not of the real, sticky in your hand variety, but research related to semen and viral load.  You have to know a lot about semen to go there.  I do.  Call me a semen expert, if you like.

I like this kind of stuff though.  Often, I’m interpreting research in ways that others can understand, all the while putting, I suppose, my personal spin on it. We all do it in the news business.  We get good at recognizing the spin of others too. So besides being a semen expert, I’ve become a spin doctor, thanks to HIV.

Thanks to HIV, I also know a fair bit about social media now too, and how it can work for you.  I bet my colleagues back on the 52^nd floor don’t even know what a tweet is!

I’ve also learned to have opinions – some would say I’m opinionated, and there may be truth in that.  I have opinions on everything, including who will win American Idol. That assertiveness that I did not have in the bank comes directly from the HIV thing, and from wanting, I suppose, to be somebody.

With it too comes respect, at least in theory.  I like to think there are some out there who respect me, even if they are just my three beloved dogs – Dudley, Dougall and Peggy. Well, at least one of those respects me, two on a good day. I’ll write about that another day for I feel the pets in our lives are truly important to people living with HIV who have them.

You’ll note that most (all?) of these changes I’ve mentioned are positive things. So yes, I’m part of the HIV gang – we must be dreadfully annoying at times – who continually point out how HIV has changed us for the better.  This must confound prevention experts who would rather we bemoan how awful are our HIV-riddled lives.  And let’s be clear; it’s no picnic for many.  For some of us though, the lucky ones, HIV has been a good thing.  It’s shaken us up.  It’s made us smell the daisies.  (Or is that roses, I can’t remember, but no matter.)  It’s made us make something of our lives.

Anyway, time to get back to my semen studies. Until next time . . . 

Bob Leahy with (left to right), Dudley, Dougall and Peggy

Many people living with HIV have written about the importance of the pets in their life.  But we tend to talk about that comfort, that support they provide in general terms.  Exactly how does that support work, though?  And are some pets better at it than others?  Today, I’m going to drag my three critters in to the picture to help me out.

I’ve actually had a long history with pet therapy. Our black lab Baxter, now gone to pet heaven, was a fully trained St John’s Ambulance Therapy Dog. He was brilliant at it too. Smart as a whip like most labs are, he also was possessed of that loveable goofiness that’s common to the breed too. Take him in to a patient’s room – he played the local nursing homes’ circuit for years – and he was instant, tail wagging sunshine.   There is, after all, something about the tactile experience of petting a dog and their ability to rekindle lost memories that works wonders in elderly patients.  He loved it, they loved it.   We only had to say “want to go see the old people?” and he was up like a flash.  (Labs have a  surprisingly large vocabulary of words and phrases they understand, by the way, even of the politically incorrect variety.)

I guess it’s pretty clear that I’m a dog person. We have had cats – at one point our household had five – but that was too many, and when over time they passed away, we settled with just the dogs. Now this will likely get me in to hot water, but I’m going to suggest dogs are the ultimate animal to have around if you are poz, and can handle the high-maintenance challenges  they come with. Others will prefer cats I’m sure, and perhaps we will even have some goldfish fanciers in the house, but it’s dogs that do it for me.

The dogs vs. cats debate, by the way, can get pretty heated.  And in fairness there is some truth in the expression “dogs drool, cat’s rule” because where they are allowed to co-exist, and that can be surprisingly easy, it is quite often the case that the cat has the upper hand.  Cats don’t put up with nonsense; cats know how to take care of themselves too. And they certainly make great poz pets – cuddly endearing and even talkative. Needy too – and in the context of pets for poz peeps, needy is good,  I think.  Essentially it’s good for us to have someone or something to look after, to cater to.

Cats or dogs, every animal – and maybe every fish even – is different.  Different in needs, different in temperament, and very different in the role they play as both caregiver and “caregivee”. Takee my three. Please.

"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."-Janet Schnellman

Let’s start with Dougall, in the middle in the top photo.  Dougall is my dog. He looks stoic, doesn’t he – and he is. But he’s also warm, giving and expressive at times.  A clever pet like Dougall is like having a good listener in the house – attentive, responsive and eager to please. He is the ultimate companion dog. If you can’t find a boyfriend or significant other, get a lab instead.

The basset hound on the left in the top photo, Dudley, is actually my partner’s dog.  Like many bassets, he (Dudley, not my partner) is independent and hard to train. A stubborn dog like Dudley will provide you with a challenge, someone to test your relating skills on, and ultimately, with luck, master and win over as a friend. But be warned, while "couch-potato" can be their middle name and they are uber-cute, basset hounds also like to roam. Think good fences.

Peggy, the other basset on the right in the top photo, is not a smart dog at all. In fact the number of commands she responds to is surprisingly small – and all of them relate to food. This lack of fluency reflects not only a lack of smartness but also extreme laziness, but no matter, because Peggy is a cuddler.  In the lexicon of supports that pets can provide, cuddling is right up there. In fact some would say it’s the number one most desirable pet trait. Which is why Peggy sleeps right beside me; we share a pillow, despite her bad breath.

Can all these traits be combined in to one incredibly talented, challenging but cuddly super-pet?  Probably not.  But all pets are a work in progress, a continuing challenge, and one of pet ownership’s real delights is seeing our animals change before us as our relationships with them evolve. That’s not a characteristic of poz pet ownership in itself, but having something so elementally satisfying in our lives can only do our own health – and numbers - good, no?

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."-Ben Williams

A foot-note: does keeping dogs or other animals raise health concerns for owners with suppressed immune systems? I’m no scientist but I suspect someone with an undetectable viral load need have no real worries.  But here’s what 2009 research says on this topic. “Though some health professionals raise concerns regarding the safety of housing pets with immunocompromised individuals, in other cases the emotional benefits of pet ownership among patients with HIV and AIDS may outweigh the risks, so long as proper hygiene and reasonable precautions are maintained. Betty Carmack (1991) found that gay men with HIV or AIDS perceived their pets as providing affection, support, nurturance, and acceptance. They also said that the presence of their pets made it easier to talk to other people. Siegel, Angulo, Detels, Wesch, and Mullen (1999) found that participants in the Multicenter AIDS Cohort Study with AIDS who owned pets reported less depression than participants with AIDS who did not own pets.”

Finally, this article on Pet Ownership for People with HIV/AIDS is quite helpful for anybody with concerns.

Oh, by the way, did I mention that dogs make good dance partners - at least in Mexico, it seems. I'm not sure why anybody would want to dress up their dog and make it act like a woman - I dislike that - but this animal show the incredible trainability of (some) dogs.

Who says senior years mean an end to sex?.  Studies have shown shown that more than 80% of 50-90 year olds are sexually active.  But for the same age group, sexually transmitted infection rates have doubled in the past decade in Canada, the U.S. and the U.K., says a recent study.

According to a CTV News story, there has also been a significant increase in the number of older adults accessing HIV care, up 82 per cent since 2001. While much of that increase is due to HIV patients living longer because of new treatments, new HIV diagnoses in adults over 50 doubled between 2000 and 2009 in the U.K.

Says CTV News  "The statistics also show increases in incidents of syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea in adults in the 45-to-64 age bracket. “Over the last 10 to 15 years, we were seeing in this (over 50) group that . . . (sexually transmitted) infections were really rising . . . across the board," one of the study's authors, Rachel von Simson, told CTV News. "In some cases, they now form a larger group of infections than those aged 15 to 29.”  Statistics show in Canada that in adults over the age of 45, they are seeing more cases of syphilis in them than in adults aged 15 to 29. They theorize that the increase in the use of erectile dysfunction drugs has allowed men to stay sexually active longer, increasing the amount of time a man can put himself and his partners at risk.  Von Simson says doctors should look at older patients the same way they do younger patients, and examine the possibility that they may have an STI.”

"Doctors don't really particularly expect to see (older) patients at risk, so they might not be picking up infections like HIV early on when they need treating and that might mean a greater spread," von Simson said. "(Doctors) are very afraid they may offend older adults by speaking about it."

All of which makes the US-based website Safer Sex for Seniors so much sense.  It’s chatty site lacks pizzaz but nevertheless sports a nifty video that has been raising  eyebrows all over the net.  And it seems decidedly straight – true, ther is a nod to bisexuality here  and even transgendered people here but nothing at all about gay sex.  Still, what’s here is solid enough, even though its message “There’s Only One Way to Safety – Use Condoms” lacks the nuanced approach we’ve come to expect of our safer sex menus that nowadays tend to stress individual decision making rather than edicts.

But I’m being picky.  Any website that features seniors working their way through the Kama Sutra can’t be all bad.  You be the judge.

The bottom line first: a surprisingly conventional drama cloaked in unconventional garb, this is a love story that’s both intensely familiar and, thanks to the use of dance segments which illustrate the action, unique and exciting.  Combine this formula with highly disciplined and skillful acting of the first order and you have a show that tries hard to please – and does, in spades.

What’s it about? Simple really – and all highly accessible. Fresh-faced young Alan is new in town from Espanola, Ontario exploring the bar/club scene.  One night at the bar he meets the attractive and experienced Bart who beds him and rejects him.  Trouble is young Alan likes older Bart – a lot, and won’t give up that easily. Meanwhile Bart’s partner, scholarly Calder, falls in love with Alan, but his love is not returned.  As they say, complications ensue.

This is a story of modern sexual manners – how men meet, mate (or not) and deal with the consequences. It’s zippy lines are clever and often funny, but also ring true with a keen sense of language and gritty realism that writer Sky Gilbert wields expertly.

The oddity here is the use of dance segments to illustrate the action, choreographed by Sky Gilbert and Keith Cole. Each scene here, which takes place in modern day Toronto, is followed by a stylized dance/movement piece with a highly different feel and look to the dramatic action preceding it. They are for the most part romantically orchestrated throwbacks to yesteryear, with the protagonists dancing out what the audience has just witnessed. 

The production positively sizzles with stellar performances on the part of all three leads. Newcomer Nick Green (above) as young Alan is a revelation, clearly someone to watch in both senses, with his very finely nuanced performance full of depth and maturity.  But impressive too, as one might expect, is seasoned favourite Ryan Kelly, of The Normal Heart and Living with Henry.  We also liked David Benjamin-Tomlinson  who rounded out the trio.

If one has issues with this show it is inevitably how the two main elements of this production – drama and dance – meld.  At times, the transitions seem a bit ungainly, and the juxtaposition of such disparate elements may not work for everybody.  Personally I liked the idea – I thought it added freshness and intrigue and charm.

All in all, though, this quirky production is a success. Buddies tends to be a reliable source of contemporary queer theatre, and this production, mounted by Sky Gilbert's own The Cabaret Company, is no exception.  Go see it.

Dancing Queen is at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander Street, Toronto until April 29.

Tickets via the Box Office at 416-975-8555 or T.O.Tix/Ticketweb