The non-story

Published 02, Dec, 2013

A noon-time tryst where there is an apparent connection – his name is Brian -- leaves our Positively Dating wanting for more. And so, it seems, does Brian . . .

The non-story

I’ve lied to you.

Ok, not really lied, but I’ve been keeping things from you.

I swear it wasn’t my intention to be deceptive; it’s just that there are some things that aren’t story worthy. If I told you everything, you would hear stories much like: “I went to meet a mildly attractive guy, who had one extremely long nose hair that kept peaking out. After the date was over I went home and plucked and preened and made sure I was perfectly manscaped.”

These non- stories are the byproduct of dating. We all have them. I am sure that I am in someone else’s blog as the anglophile with the overt obsession for Jane Austen. 

This is the tale of a how a non-story became a headline. No, I am not referring to the guy with the protruding nose hair. This is the story of how the nooner turned into - well, I’m not exactly sure yet. 

Sometime in mid July, when I was on yet another dating slump, I was scrolling through Scruff at work. I started chatting with this handsome guy who was in from out of town on business. Brian was here for a conference and was at a hotel three blocks from where I work. How fortuitous, I thought. He had no qualms about me being HIV-positive and he invited me for lunch.  And even though I knew I would leave even more peckish than I arrived, I quickly agreed. 

When I saw him in the lobby, wearing a tank top and gym shorts, my heart swooned. It wasn’t because he had an amazing physique, rather it was his beaming smile and kind eyes that made my heart melt. (His muscles made my knees buckle – totally different sensation.) 

Don’t get me wrong. The sex was great, but that’s not what I remember the most about our afternoon tryst. It was the aftermath – the lying, the gazing, the chatting.

Most random hookups are physical and so we never really allow ourselves to connect to the other person. But every now and again, there are other times when the lack of expectations allows you to give yourself so completely to a stranger that you feel like you get to know the most intimate nuances of that person in the short amount of time you are with them. The latter is exactly what happened with Brian - I suppose this stemmed from the fact that he was only in town for a conference and I would likely never see him again. 

As soon as I got back to work, I had a friend request from him on Facebook. Within a couple weeks we exchanged numbers and we texted off and on. At the end of September he told me that his friend was moving to New York and that he was probably going to spend Thanksgiving with her. He then mentioned that we should spend some time together. The first suggestion was for us to have drinks or just meet up, but as our conversations and mild flirtation progressed, it has turned to spending the last two days of his trip with me. 

As the weeks go by, I get more and more excited to see him. This excitement did not wane while on my journey abroad to England where I had my own little Jane Austen adventure. While I was hit on by a few British boys and may have even kissed one, my mind was continually on Brian.

If you are wondering, no I didn’t venture to a bathhouse, so I cannot regale you with any steam room stories. Ha.  This is another non-story lie because I did go visit the Roman Bath ruins in Bath, but that isn’t exactly the type of bathhouse I’m sure you were thinking! 

I know that Brian and I only met once and realistically we only met to have sex. But somehow it was more than that. Or at least I’m hoping that it was/is more than that. And even if he turns out to be something more, he lives in Kansas City, Missouri. So there is that.  I guess only time will tell if Brian will continue to be a headline or this upcoming visit will put him back in the trunk with all my other non-stories.