With the onset of summer, the New York boys seem to be wearing less and less and less. It makes every day activities, like walking without tripping or running into an unsuspecting tourist, a very difficult task.
I am always surprised at how many more eligible guys seem to inhabit New York in the warmer months. It is like they migrate here from the Midwest to partake of the summer smog and humidity. In reality, they are just waking up from a long winters nap to come out and play. And play they do. Me included.
In the last couple of weeks I have had more dates than I can count. Most of them were first dates and most of which I forgot well before I went home for the evening. Some I tried desperately to forget. I don’t know what that says about me or the guys I choose to date. Either way, I like to think that even a failed date has many redeeming qualities.
First, you get to meet someone new, and even if you don’t want to go to brown town with him, there is still the potential for a new friend. Secondly, you get to go someplace new in the city. I usually don’t take my dates to my favorite watering holes, mostly because if it is an epic fail, you don’t want them coming back to the scene of the crime. This way you can try something new. And last but not least, the sex. Even if the date doesn’t work out and you don’t even want to be friends, there might be some sort of animal attraction that can’t be denied.
Don’t get me wrong - I am in it to win it. Meaning I want nothing more than to settle down with my perfect mixture of Prince Charming and a porn star. But until that day happens, I will take what I can get.
All that being said, I met a boy that I kind of like. It is still very new but he is funny, charming, and we have a lot in common. Like most things that I attract, there is flaw. He’s a dog walker. Wait. I know what you are going to say - especially because I have dismissed boys for things that are trivial to most, but off-putting to me - (the love of Celine Dion for crying out loud!). But he is not a dog walker / struggling actor. He is not a dog walker / struggling writer. He is not a dog walker / struggling juggler. He is just a dog walker. And what’s worse is that he has no aspirations to be anything else.
I jokingly asked him, “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” He said, “I’m a go-with-the-flow kind of guy and very happy with what I am doing.” He added, “I could grow a huge dog walking empire or I could become a bartender. I just can’t do a 9-5 thing.” I understand that sentiment, but this is coming from a thirty-nine year old and I find that a little disconcerting.
My question is, can I possibly be involved with someone who has no passion for anything? I have so many dreams that I want to do in my life that I can’t keep track of them all! I don’t know if I can be content with someone who promenades with pooches for a pittance. I’m not that shallow and it’s not the money thing; I mean, I’m in no way to judge anyone in that regard. It’s the actually passion for something outside himself.
I’m completely torn - I don’t know if I should invest all my time in him – what with all the other options out there. I don’t know if this whole thought process is a bit premature since I haven’t told him about my HIV status and we haven’t had sex. I don’t know if I should finally get a dog so I can spend more time with him.
Who knows, maybe he will just end up being my summer fling. Oh wait. One of my best friends ending up marrying her summer fling and now the lives in a suburb in Delaware with two kids. I might need to rethink my options.